“I see the man that you are” 10 years ago, Amanda said those words to me right when I needed to hear them most. I was depressed, full of insecurity and doubt, and most alarmingly, eating Subway almost every day — the ultimate rock bottom. But somehow, she saw through it all and loved me anyway. And even though she probably didn’t realize that the man she saw would one day be asking her to go to Target with him to try on heels for @rupaulsdragrace, or to give him pointers while he vogued in those heels to “Cool For The Summer” in the kitchen, or to rewatch season after season with him while he thought about voguing in those heels, she never once told me to stop, or said it was weird or unattractive, or in any way made me feel that by falling head over heels (in heels) for Drag, I was becoming less of a man. Because she knew, even before I did, that this was only allowing me to become more of myself…Also she loved how bad I was at voguing. And while we sat on the secret of my participation in this show for almost a year and FINALLY got to watch it with the rest of you last night, the biggest moment for me didn’t happen up on screen. It was when I looked to this incredible woman sitting next to me on the couch — who not only had been there for me through my Drag journey of the last year, but through my *identity* journey of the last decade — and saw her beaming with genuine pride and love. I am grateful to so many for this experience, but no one more than her — for seeing the man I am all those years ago, and no matter what, never once looking away.
