Angie Rae Instagram – In a sort of continuation of my last puppy post, I wanted to share a few more things…
In this period of time where I’ve been existing without my two little loves, I’ve found that most of the time I feel conflicted. I am still mourning Tilly and, now, Monroe as well. I mean, nearly 15 years with Monroe and 10 years with Tilly…I didn’t really know how to do life without them. Especially with the little mixed bag of mental illnesses they have helped me regulate and survive through.
The conflict starts with my getting well and finding the right treatments.
I was/am discovering who I am, who I have been. What’s been harming me and how to brave through the entire rewiring process my brain needs to really be able to thrive in life. Not just surviving by way of suffering.
It really does feel like a new go at life. The part 2 where the cage door is open.
I’m allowing myself to be happy…which a part of me felt was dishonoring my babies.
How can I be happy after this? Why am I enjoying things now?
I found some peace in a book called “The Smell of Rain on Dust” by Martín Prechtel and, especially, in the quote(s)/concept below:
“…No matter what, you have to find a way for the grief of your loss to turn into life again….make heartbreaking loss into grief that praises and inspires life” and in doing this, I am honoring Tilly and Monroe in the best way possible. They impact my everyday life in this way. Positively. And now all I want to do is pass that effect on to other people I may cross paths with.
I hope this helps someone who may need it.
🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍 | Posted on 26/Jan/2021 02:32:50
