Rain Dove Dubilewski Instagram – Love is a complicated thing. Many parents are terrified of what it actually means. They know that they must make a safe space for their children- but also they worry that if they do not provide a basic sense of guidance for them that they may stray off a stable path towards a destination full of bumps and brambles. It’s a very valid feeling. Almost every parent who is oppositional to LGBTQPIA identities tells me the same thing “Love is not complicity” or “Love is not letting my kid do whatever they want”. While it’s true- parenting comes with the hard task of setting boundaries as well as opening possibilities- one thing parents often forget is that while they are guardians of their kids, they are not the masters of their kids. They may have legal custody of them, but they do not truly own them. Even if they are the ones that birthed them. The moment that being is in the world, the them that they are will never be Yours to do with what You will. Your place is not to make them, but rather to share space with them that will help them be the being they were born to be. That may be difficult- because who they are may not be who You envisioned. But it will be ok. Teach them not to get in their own or another being’s way fo food, shelter, water, safety. Teach them compassion and the ability to set their own boundaries. Teach them self care.
If You are afraid it’s not enough- that perhaps Your loved one will miss out if You don’t get something specific into their mind other than the above- feel free to reach out. We can chat through it. I know religion, culture sexpectations and family tradition can be hard to work through- but we have got You. You’re not alone.
Ps the being in the post- their name is Brine and at the moment Brine is a THEY/HE. If You want to affirm their identity feel free to support them in the comments below. He knows I am posting this.
#lgbtqia #lgbtq #genderfluid #transgender #parenting #debate #conflictresolution #letsgo
(This post has been modified and the screen name hidden to protect the individual. This is an ongoing dialogue.) | Posted on 27/Oct/2021 01:26:51
