Jennifer Parkhill

Jennifer Parkhill Instagram – —love would come
blinking fast
it would come
it would come
it would come
again—
.
.
.
people are always
expecting me
to fuck
like a porn star
.
I only play one
on the teevee
some
times
.
and this time I’d wanted to.
I’d really wanted to
fuck to black
fuck to forgetting.
.
I was sleeping
with women I felt
wanted to devour me.
perhaps they did.
perhaps they didn’t.
perhaps I wanted
them to.
.
surprised to find me
softer, sweeter,
than what they’d
imagined
in a bedroom.
.
and then the fall
and the run
me running
sans shoes
through the night
away from mosh
pits of fantasy
disguised
as love
.
my arms
limp spaghetti
i’d only wanted
to be tossed
round a room
against a wall
am I ready yet
cum till I wept
.
a life in monogamy
hasn’t worked yet
I’m not taking bets
but I might be done
.
and then the gifts
they started coming
what were they buying?
what were they silencing?
never knew one
that didn’t have
the price tag
left on
.
I had to go
.
a blizzard.
January in Texas
blanket of snow
on the Texan street
the Texan cacti
an orange tree
.
and me alone
with my feelings
and my friends
and my feelings
and the snow
.
and with it
I could near hear
the radiator
blurring steam
.
in New York
all couples
become teams
fighting the elements
in winter
even the dead ones
rally and try again
a simple means
of survival
a heart fed
.
I could feel
our sheets
kicked off socks
from heat
at the foot
of a bed
our home
not my home
anymore
.
a sleep
like I’ve never had
before
or again
her head
on my
warm chest
.
busy street
where poets
once poet-ed
now karaoke
and hot dogs
yuppies
their voices
bouncing
off walls
of glass
and still—
.
a place
you could feel
time
.
that bed
that building
that view
of a snowblown
city street
in morning
and—
.
gone.
.
the Texas snow.
and the feeling.
fast as they’d come.
.
and she—
like out of a sad dream
an almost nightmare
a misspent
beautiful dream
headlights
blaring past
screaming
love would come
blinking fast
it would come
it would come
it would come
again
a comet
hurling
and for a flash
.
she was a light.
.
.
📷 @adamcolemandp
.
.
.
#queerwriters #poetry | Posted on 14/Feb/2022 21:16:25