Lauren Lee Smith Instagram – Grief..
What a son of a bitch
But we all experience it and go through it at various times in our lives
The last 5 months have been the hardest I have ever had to deal with.
You wouldn’t know it from here though..the fun moments the “cute” pics
Trying to keep up a “social media presence” stay “Relevant” 😂 it all seems so fucking stupid.
I am ( usually ) someone who likes to keep my private life relatively private..
But thinking about grief and loss and not being ok is also important.. so here I am..
Spewing out all the fucking clichés
Don’t take life for granted
Live every moment to the fullest
Tell the people you love you love them
Let go of anger
Love
Be fucking kind
Fuck cancer
Love
All of it ..
Wrapping my head around life without my mom simply has not seemed possible.
But here we are in the final days ..so much sooner than we anticipated,
I could go off on the healthcare system not catering to anyone over 40, Covid, floods, but really it just comes down to Cancer being a motherfucking relentless cunt.
My mama LIVED for her children and nothing more..(until she had grandchildren)
She raised 3 of us on her own ..in the most unconventional way..( maybe one day I’ll have the balls to share that story )
A few nights ago I was holding her hand and told her that I was going to be ok..that I have to be because I have a daughter to raise and she squeezed my hand and whispered “ of course you will I raised you well…mostly “ which was so fucking perfect 😭
She would fucking kill me if I posted any pics of her in the last 3 months..well the last one is from the last time I was able to take her for a car ride but well..Snapchat 🤷🏼♀️
But these for me represent my beautiful mom
I am so fucking grateful ( in hindsight) that Covid allowed her and I and my daughter to spend 4 moths in the same home.
My mom has been there for me like no other and the idea of her not being in my life is still not a reality I’m able to fully accept or come to terms with..but I know I will be ok ❤️
So with that being said I may not be on here for awhile..I don’t know.
This is a weird platform
So even if this just resonates with 1 person
I’m sending love ❤️ | Posted on 19/Jan/2022 11:20:54
