Ali Bastian Instagram – *Trigger warning – Grief*. My little one will be 12 weeks this Saturday. The End of the fourth trimester – the end of a period that has been one of the toughest of my life. A week after she was born, I lost one of my oldest and closest friends. Trying to process this enormous loss whilst walking the hormonal tightrope of my postpartum period has been and remains to be incredibly intense. I’ve taken to having long showers so I can cry and let it all out so that I can then return to parenting a little lighter. Knowing that such life changing events happening in such close succession could leave my mental health sailing incredibly close to the wind has meant I’ve had to seek help wherever I could find it. I have an incredible councillor I’ve seen for many years, we hired a Doula to support me as in the midst of all this my c-section stopped healing and is still not completely resolved, making it hard to do even the simplest things like lifting my baby and I’m forever grateful to @thehumanmethoduk who is helping me heal some of this somatically and stay grounded. Some days are easier than others and I am holding my babies tightly but ultimately… I miss my friend with all my heart. My beautiful, funny, dry as f**k friend. I miss her laugh, I miss our short hand. I miss our hugs when we hadn’t seen each other for ages. Our always long overdue catch ups over wine by the river. Friday nights when I would drive from wherever I had been filming to crash out on her and her dear husband’s sofa after a take away. So many memories, so many happy times. An incredible light went out that day. Lou, I will love you forever ❤️ xxx ps. These photos were from a magazine shoot we did years ago about being best friends. They are amongst some of my favourites of us. I can’t remember who the photographer was so I can’t credit but I hope if they see these they don’t mind me posting them ❤️