Just staying Covid-safe by wearing the flayed skin of my younger self.
Don’t forget to wear your masks, kids.
In case you missed it, head to my stories for the link to the new @esquire featuring this guy that looks awfully familiar.
In case you missed it, head to my stories for the link to the new @esquire featuring this guy that looks awfully familiar.
In case you missed it, head to my stories for the link to the new @esquire featuring this guy that looks awfully familiar.
In case you missed it, head to my stories for the link to the new @esquire featuring this guy that looks awfully familiar.
In case you missed it, head to my stories for the link to the new @esquire featuring this guy that looks awfully familiar.
In case you missed it, head to my stories for the link to the new @esquire featuring this guy that looks awfully familiar.
In case you missed it, head to my stories for the link to the new @esquire featuring this guy that looks awfully familiar.
In case you missed it, head to my stories for the link to the new @esquire featuring this guy that looks awfully familiar.
Bosses aren’t born, they’re made. Don’t be little, be a Big Boss, Man. @boss #beyourownboss #ad
Wow, this guy looks just like me! Would you all mind picking up a copy of this month’s @Esquire so we can get to the bottom of this mystery? Thank you to @rhdagostino, @robbiefimmano, @thehildalevierge and @rogersandcowan for all your hard work. I’ll put up a few more photos in my story here in a bit, so stay tuned. Head to my twitter for the link to the story!
Hey dorks,
You’re probably asking yourself a lot of questions about this picture.
1. Is that a cat farting rainbows on your cabinet?
2. Is that a picture of your girlfriend where your face should be on that Pagemaster poster?
3. Is that a tarantula in your aquarium?
The answer to those are:
1. Yes. I did it myself.
2. Yup. She’s only okay with it.
3. Of course not, tarantulas don’t live in aquariums, they live in terrariums, dumbass.
But what you really should be looking at is lpr.tv
They’re a platform that brings you performances from tons of cool bands and artists, like @JDbeckmusic @Kimbramusic @emonight_bk @toomanyzooz @chkchkchk_og @therealgza @sunflowerbean @Chrisgeth @kevinpdevine @sonlittlemusic @domi_keys @cultscultscults and a whole bunch more.
LPR is a small, independent venue based out of NYC that is close to my heart. It’s a place that always has great bands, drinks, and art all year ‘round. But like many small businesses they’ve been hit hard by our current times and are doing what they can to bring you awesome content despite our current climate.
This isn’t a paid advertisement or anything, I just love this place, these people, and what they do and they were dumb enough to give me a promo code. So go to LPR.tv and use the promo code CULKIN and get 25% off (!!!) the subscription fee and check out some great shows without have to wear pants. Heck, I might even do a show myself. You never know.
Live the dream.
@lprnyc @lpr.tv @btab1 @davidhandlermusic
Just catching butterflies while at @sdzsafaripark Brenda couldn’t stand that I got one before she did. Thanks so much for hosting our family!
Just want to send out a BIG thank you to the amazing people over at Sesame Place in San Diego for hosting my son’s first birthday.
They made a little boy’s dreams come true. And my son also had a great time.
This is a paid advertisement, but exactly what you think. You see, my friends over at @goldenroadbrew bribed me with both free beer and a generous donation to Stand Up to Cancer. The beer is delicious and the cause is good so if you want to drink well and help out this holiday season please check out their websites. Links in the bio.
On a completely unrelated note I just made a donation to the San Diego Zoo. I encourage you all to do the same. Not only are they all lovely people but you should look into their efforts towards bringing back the recently extinct northern white rhino. It’s incredible. @sandiegozoo
Hey lemon tree owners out there, quick question: Do you ever get lemons that look like Cthulhu’s gaping maw?
Thanks for letting me feed your giraffes @sandiegozoo ! And thanks for helping give my big guy the best birthday yet! You’re the best!
Thanks for the fishing trip @tonycavalero Let’s do it again soon.
Rock, Paper, Scissors… LIGHTSABER! We’re big fans of #StarWars in this family and might have gotten a little ahead of our holiday shopping. #BringHomeTheGalaxy #ad
Whoa, I designed socks!!?? I’ve come to from some stupors before, but never have I done anything so wholesome and adorable as designing this Holiday Collection for @happysocks.
Ever wonder what it would be like to hear me read a Night Before Christmas with the help of the internet, MadLibs style? Then check out the link in my story, and merry Christmas! #MackLibs
