Shoniqua Shandai Instagram – I shot these during the pandemic but never posted because I was in piz-zain. We all were. The world was. And I so desperately needed to channel it through art.
I went to my sister and said let’s flip a hat upside down, stuff flowers in it and make my face a thanksgiving basket. Offer my face to the heavens. My sister @nianadesignz sketched it out and the incredible @magswalsh11 made it happen. I wanted to express what it felt like to me to be Black In America: Beautiful and regal, mistreated and burdened with shit that isn’t ours but somehow out of the pain always offering so much beauty to the world. To God.
Magic was made and on the drive home I found myself crying for my late grandfather James Jackson. He transitioned from a heart attack during the pandemic and I haven’t posted about him but I really would like to now. I didn’t know him for most of my life, but we connected my senior year in high school. He came to see me as “Evilene” in the Wiz and I made him pay for every missed year in cash value. I ran his credit card bill up! He knew I was punishing him for lost time and he was willing to do what was needed to earn a teenager’s love.
And that became the dynamic of our relationship, him being a support system. The financial security I had never had before. So many times when it looked like my family would have to leave Los Angeles, he’d pay the bill for the motel we stayed in. He helped us get a deposit to finally get an apartment after nearly two years of homelessness. I would not have my career if it hadn’t been for his heart to give, the same trait my mother has, and myself as well. So for all the lost years, the few he was there for changed my life forever and my heart aches I won’t be able to give back to him, or atleast show him all that he’s made possible for me, but here’s my offering. To him and all the black hearts aching over lost ones in this time. We wear them within us.
James Jackson
Father, Grandfather, Great grandfather and Vietnam Veteran
February 29, 1948 – May 8, 2020 🖤
Photographer: Joshua Powell
Assistant Photographer: @kdlchick
Wardrobe: @magswalsh11
Makeup: @makeupbynimai
Hair: @wigsbyjenny
Creative Director: Me! | Posted on 13/Sep/2023 05:48:18
