Pallavi Sharda Instagram – Today there is another young girl I want to honour. The one that persists inside me. The one that drove me to chase a fanciful childhood dream and end up in Mumbai, eventually to the set of this song – my first ever as a leading actress in Hindi films.
I was a just baby. I had crossed the Indian Ocean with no idea of what was in store. Apparently, my prefrontal cortex was yet to fully form. All I had – was conviction. Conviction that I was made to do something. That the rhythm which has jostled in my body, the tala that had pulsated through my veins – was not in vain.
When this film released in a whopping 4000 screens on an Oct 2nd gone by, it failed (I blame the wigs). And with it, the naysayers who had told me when I set foot in Mumbai, that I was destined to fail – triumphed. The ones who had branded me too ‘masculine’ (wtf?), too ‘difficult’, too ‘nobody’. On its release, I was delivered to the press as a piece of slaughtered meat; the word Besharam (shameless) a fitting epithet. With no family (I mean, it was grand final weekend in Australia), backing or support system in Bombay, it was easy for the system to swallow me whole. And while I went on to do more projects in India that garnered me repute/fed my soul, the experience of this film and the ensuing witch hunt against its youngest, weakest link had implications which lasted a long time.
Today I want to say “well done” to that little girl. The one who fought tooth and nail to get the part, who had already survived the darkness of many rooms, who didn’t cower when she was told to, who took the punches to her firmly clenched jaw (do not recommend) & who rocked onscreen bangs after a shit haircut.
But I will say to any other little girls, to any other humans – if the punches come, do not take them alone. We are here to hold each other up. And if ever you find yourself in a place where you feel alone, peering from behind a curtain; know that it is just a veil of make-believe.
If you can muster the strength to look a little harder, a tribe will rise to lift you. Lifting that veil is in your hands. I wish I did it sooner.
Today is Gandhi Jayanti. Ahimsa also refers to oneself.
2023 📸 @milighosh | Posted on 02/Oct/2023 18:29:10