Jezebel Express Instagram – Every once in awhile, it happens: we catch a glimpse of ourselves— maybe in the mirror or at an angle we don’t often see— and we think “Damn. I look good.”
Maybe it’s our body’s shadow or our nose from this angle, or our wrinkles looking kinda cute while we’re laughing. We have a rare moment of self-appreciation—but we all know what follows that.
The voices. Maybe it’s a parent (“cover your arms”) or friend (“girl, botox!”) or partner (“don’t get a big head, now!”) A litany of lightning speed critiques, replacing your appreciation with shame: you’re wrong, you have work to do, you’re hideous.
Why are we like this? We are taught from the time we begin consuming media that love is always conditional– that we must look and act exactly right. We must walk a careful tightrope to earn love, and then stay balanced to keep it.
Many of us have spent our lives tiptoeing carefully, looking only ahead towards our betterment, instead of admiring the grace and skill of the balancing acts we do every day, or the spectacular view from up here.
I don’t think love is like a tightrope. This is what self-improvement shills will tell you, though, and they’re loud. They’re also yelling into the ears of the people who love you, and because those folks want you to be well-loved, they may join the chorus of voices pressuring you to balance oh-so-carefully and never slip up.
But love is not a tightrope. Love is a net. Love holds the things we have been told are unforgivable about ourselves. Love does not require perfect balance or staring straight ahead, laser focused on inching toward some ad guy’s idea of perfection.
Love wants you to enjoy your time on earth. To revel in the view. To admire yourself. And sure, looking around might make you lose your balance. But what are you even doing on that tightrope anyway?
The next time you catch a glimpse of something you like in the mirror, don’t let the voices keep snap your attention back to what‘s “wrong”. Instead, enjoy a rare glimpse at what’s right, what’s wonderful, what’s perfect about you.
Turn your head. Take a good, long look at how beautiful you are. And when you fall, let love catch you. ✨ | Posted on 08/Nov/2023 01:47:37
