Dan Harmon

Dan Harmon Instagram – My name? Richard Nibbles. My story? Well, I was once a bounty hunter. Then I tried mining but the fourth thing I mined gave me a cosmic seizure so a cult of rich explorers put me up in a guest room on a planet made of shopping malls. But that’s a fairly common story, so what makes mine special? Maybe it’s my choices. My deliberate swaddling of my potato-shaped body in the most tin-foil spacesuit I can loot. My compulsive collecting of “vacuum tape,” possibly stemming from a past life in an atomic wasteland. My refusal to learn how to effectively pilot my own ship. My commitment to staffing that ship almost exclusively with women of color, except one white lady whose attempts to blur professional lines go ignored but not punished, since, I mean, look at me. My thoughtful-if-transactional relationship with retired parents that are somehow five years younger than me. But maybe my strangest choice, and I do have to admit it is a choice: I own a house I’ve never seen. It’s the thing that drives me. I get that it’s a rare opportunity to track down seizure inducing artifacts while reuniting a scattered human race, and I’m grateful that my three minutes in the mines are behind me. But I’m honestly doing it all to pay off my mortgage. I take ten times longer on every mission because I feel like I have to gather and sell every foam cup I find. I don’t know how to make a storage box yet, so I literally use the body of a man I killed to store illegal items, just in case I ever find, like, a space version of Silk Road or, for fuck’s sake, a Craig’s List, which you’d think would exist since there’s robots. I’m not complaining. It’s a great life. And a fantastic game. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Well. I’d trade my soul for the 24 grand I still owe the bank. Honestly, I’d suck your dick for a foam cup. I won’t use mean dialogue or hurt peaceful animals and I give 2 percent of my money to my mom but I’ve stolen and fenced every item from every bedroom of every human dumb enough to trust me. My name is Richard Nibbles. Pray we never meet. #Starfield #RichardNibblesChronicles | Posted on 06/Sep/2023 12:50:09