Lewis Spears Instagram – 2023 has at once been the most difficult and most rewarding year of my life. At my absolute sickest, I was completely unable to work or even function in my personal life from January until the end of October. Completely overwhelmed by fatigue and non functioning, simple things like conversations or texts were too much for me, let alone performing. It was a miracle I even managed to do the comedy festival, an amazing time that I loved. It ultimately made me much worse. I disappeared again soon after.
At several points I thought I’d never get better, physically and mentally. That I’d never bounce back or that I had lost everything.
A sick man with a body that betrayed him and slowly snatched away his dream.
Four years of being physically incapable of doing what I was put on this Earth to do, this last year the worst of them yet.
The most important and restorative function of the human body was almost completely unavailable to me and it was taking its toll.
Years without sleep is a level of exhaustion and fatigue I still don’t have the words to describe.
I kept pushing out of habit more than anything else, writing three pages every morning in my journal, as instructed to in The Artists Way by Julia Cameron. It was really the only thing I was capable of.
I truly believe this practice saved me, you should do it this year. You will transform yourself. Mind and Soul.
Finally, I got the last surgery I needed. After a brutal recovery and even more time off, after four years of gradually worsening sickness, I am well. I am restored. I am cured.
To anyone going through it, whether it’s your own health, body, mind, grief, financial, family, whatever it is I can personally tell you that the walk through hell is worth it. If you steel your mind and do the work, whatever you’re capable of, you can and will endure anything that comes your way.
I would not choose this if I could, but I know that because of this I have become the strongest, most resilient version of myself, that would be simply unattainable had I not endured what I have.
Perspective and resilience is the lasting gift of sustained troubles.
2024 will be great, and so will I.
I am who I will become. | Posted on 31/Dec/2023 06:17:29
