Brian Michael Smith Instagram – Even after all these years, September always feels like “back-to-school” time.
And as I slipped on this jacket today, I thought about how my back-to-school shopping experiences shaped my love/hate relationship with clothes.
I reminded how when I was a kid, everything was so either/or. There were either boy clothes or girl clothes without much in between.
I learned very early on that no matter how I saw myself, clothing dictated how people saw me.
The designated colors and cartoons were pretty much billboard signs announcing your gender and telling all the other kids who you were and how to treat you.
Growing up clothing was used as a tool correct and undermine my masculine gender expression.
Back to school shopping was a battle in which I experienced the pain and distress of being erased and overwritten when forced to wear clothes designed for feminine girls. But later on, once I had the ability to pick my own clothes, I felt the power validation and euphoria of wearing clothes that matched my gender.
I’ll never forget how much stronger and present in the world I felt when I wore clothes that affirmed my masculinity for the first time.
I’m also reminded of that long period of time in which, I struggled with clothing that were the right gender but, didn’t fit my body. Either they didn’t sit on me right, or I felt like I was buying clothes to camouflage parts of myself, to hide.
But now I’m living in a time where companies like @bothandapparel exist.
Where I can find clothes that both affirm my identity and experience and fit my body.
Clothes that are made for my body, That don’t hide my body or erase who I am.
This jacket made by a Trans clothing company in collaboration with Transmasc artist, @danielsea_
is the gift I’m rocking for my younger self.
The reminder that I don’t have deny one part of myself to accept another. That we are and always will be Both/And.
📸: @laith_ashley
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#representationmatters
#transisbeautiful #bothand # | Posted on 02/Sep/2023 08:09:06
