Wendy L. Walsh Instagram – Part Three of our Love Story
I mentioned in part two of my posts that Julio got “cold feet” about nine months into our relationship. Here’s why: He had suffered a financial setback and frankly, felt ashamed.
(If you’re new to this story, this might be a good time to go to my YouTube channel and watch my proposal to Julio on my “Worthy of Love” special on @kfiam640 and hear how nearly one in ten US men have experienced incarceration and walk with shame every day.)
Our breakup was a turning point where we both were forced to examine our notions of gender roles that were programmed in early life. I had been raised in a Catholic, Military family and my Mom didn’t work when the kids were young. Although my father was the “provider” my mother managed all the household finances.
Julio was raised in NYC by a maverick, feminist single mother (whom I adore) in the 1970’s. There’s a pic of her and her two boys here.
The messages about money in his childhood included witnessing his mother struggle and wanting to protect her. Also, during summers in his father’s homeland, the Dominican Republic, a strict Latin “man-code” was instilled. In the photo from TheDR, he’s the light skinned baby being held by a cousin.
At the time of our break up, I was making more money and this was very hard for him.
In the end, the two of us assessed our psychology of money, and looked at all the ways that human beings exchange care in a relationship. Our care exchange includes intellectual stimulation, emotional support, a VERY FAIR division of domestic responsibilities, and Julio’s undying helpfulness in my life. I mean this is a very helpful, caregiving man. He is worth his weight and gold!
The last photo is us, three months after our 24-hour breakup on our first anniversary. We differ in memory on who called who first on the day after. I think it was me. He says it was him. We’ll never know for sure.
We’re getting married next summer.
#lovestory | Posted on 21/Feb/2024 00:32:25
