Billie Lourd Instagram – ✨❤️✨It has been 7 years since my mom died (but who’s counting?? Me I guess?) Every anniversary brings a different iteration of my grief. Some infuse me with rage, some make me cry all day long, some make me feel dissociated and empty, some make me feel nothing, some make me feel guilty for feeling nothing, and some make me feel all of those things all at once. This year when I woke up I felt grateful – or ✨griefull✨if you will. Grief has infused my life with a sense of appreciation I had never had before. It makes me soak up every moment of joy as if it were my last. Today I was holding my daughter while she was napping in my arms and my eyes welled up with tears of joy. I laughed at myself then cried more cause I was laughing. I felt my mombys presence like the warmth of the sun on your skin on a hot summer day. The kind of warmth where you unknowingly close your eyes and take a slow breath through your nose and grin. I miss her every day but the cliche is also true – she is with me every day – she infuses my joyful moments with even more joy. As I tell my son, she lives in the stars – and she damn sure makes my life sparkle. Sending my love to all my griefers out there. And hoping everyone can feel a little sparkle of griefull among all the feelings grief inevitably brings. ❤️