Dan Savage Instagram – The Times of London @thetimes ran a story about #tolyamory —a neologism coined by @dansavage.
I got interviewed by reporter @clairecohen1 to give my take on what the word means—and, most importantly, whether it’s all the French’s fault? 😂
I don’t think I’m being biased (even as a French Canadian!) when I say that tolyamory transcends geography and cultures.
I think the combination of humans not being a naturally monogamous species WITH living in mononormative societies where most people can’t afford to be openly or ethically non-monogamous for fear of repercussions is a recipe for deception and betrayal.
I don’t condone or recommend tolyamory. I don’t think being tolyamorous is not anyone’s ideal situation. But, living in a less-than-ideal world, I have empathy for how countless folks consider it their most realistic option.
Abandoning the social privileges of monogamous coupledom is still too costly for many people—particularly women.
That’s a big reason why it’s important to continue doing the work to destigmatize ethical forms of #nonmonogamy and promote gender equity everywhere around the globe.
I would love to see a world where people do not feel the need to lie, conceal, cheat, or stay with partners with whom honesty cannot thrive.
To move closer to this, I believe discussing (rather than hiding) common relational realities—and breaking up with the illusion than monogamy is the only legitimate way to love—is an important step.
What do you all think? Were you ever in a toly situation? Do you think toly can ever be considered “ethical”…? 🤓
#enm #cnm #nonmonogamy #polyamorous #polyamory #ethicalnonmonogamy #consensualnonmonogamy #compersion #sexatdawn #monogamy | Posted on 11/Jun/2024 21:15:42
