Brandy Ledford Instagram – One month without you…
A day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t worn one of your shirts. It felt weird going into your closet, pilfering your clothes before your body was even cold. But it was with permission, blessed, and ordained, as it were.
You were a clothes horse after all, a western fashionista! I own flannels and denim goods, but mine were bought at The Gap or Ralph Lauren. Yours were all Lee or Wrangler, or brands nobody’s ever heard of, bought in stores from small towns nobody’s ever been to. Real. Authentic. That was you.
I remember when I was a little girl, you’d let me help pick out your belt or bolo tie to match your outfit. You’d let me think I was making the final decision, and it made me feel so special.
I wanted them to smell like you. That was my second wish. My first was that you were still in them. Futile. Nothing smells like you. Does your scent die when you do? I always imagined it lingered.
I wear your shirt, your other shirt, and your other shirt. I feel close to you this way. I walked by your urn the other day, it sits right near your favorite cowboy hat, and I laughed as I said out loud like a fool, “Hah, got you now, fxcker!” In a sense, it’s true. I have you here with me every day now. It’s why I wear your shirts – to finally feel close to you.
You would have loved that joke.
Nobody laughed at my jokes the way you did ♥️ | Posted on 24/May/2024 23:39:31
