Elle Newlands Instagram – It’s the anniversary of Kayla’s passing from cancer. This was the last photo I got with her and I can see she was ready. I rescued her as a tiny sick kitten and no one wanted her because she only had one eye. Except when I got her home and gently washed her little face, I discovered she didn’t. It was just jammed closed with so much crust. She had a fever and was so dehydrated, the vet didn’t think she would live through the night. Little did they know, she had work to do and most of it was teaching me how to be a better and less selfish human. She lived 11 more years and she lived with such force that after she died in my arms, I felt all pieces of her leave. Her energy expanded one last time and then it just stopped being light. The room felt vacant and something shifted.
Who knows where we go. I like to think that this isn’t it. That we all get a chance to reassemble somewhere in the great beyond. To level up in the spiritual realm. To report back what we learned and I hope it consists in it’s entirety of who we loved and who loved us. I hope it ends as it begins, with us learning to accept every lesson as a chance to grow and appreciate while we lived in these bodies on loan. I hope we empty our pockets of any residual longing in our hearts or painful regrets. The idea of unfinished business unsettles me.
I know in my heart that Kayla finished what she came to do. She had aggressive lymphoma and the vet told me after she died that she had so many tumors, the fact she lived almost a year past diagnosis was quite frankly, a fucking miracle. But that was Kayla. A cat who didn’t know she was a cat. A cat who rescued this human and taught her to trust in unconditional love. She knew I needed her. This tiny, scrappy little rescue being, who let me know every single day she was alive, that she chose me back. And sometimes that’s enough because that’s the instruction manual for love and we’re just lucky when we get to build something to completion ❤️ | Posted on 07/Dec/2023 00:23:49
