Dan Savage Instagram – I recently had the privilege of welcoming the legendary 𝐃𝐀𝐍 𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐀𝐆𝐄 to speak to over 1,200 of my students in my Human Sexuality class here in Seattle at the University of Washington. 🥳🎉 As an author and activist, Dan has significantly shaped the conversation around modern sex and love.
Here were some of his most provocative take-aways! 😉🔥
1️⃣ 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐍𝐨𝐧-𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐀𝐅: It’s time to retire the stale narrative that consensual non-monogamy oppresses women, who now often surpass men in their education and careers. Traditional heteronormative power differentials are withering away, inviting a shift toward more open and equitable relationships. As a result, women nowadays are more likely to feel empowered in the choice to open their relationship and often are the ones who have an easier time finding more casual, peripheral partners.
2️⃣ 𝐈𝐬 “𝐓𝐨𝐥𝐲𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐲” 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐲𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐲? We all know Dan loves a good neologism (i.e. did you know he invented “monogamish” and “pegging?”) Have you heard of his latest term though, “Tolyamory?” Tolyamory, Dan argues, is the most common type of polyamory, and describes an otherwise monogamous relationship where metamours are tolerated (hence the “toly”) but never openly discussed. Need examples? Think the Clintons, FDR and Eleanor Roosevelt, Daphne and Cameron from Season Two of “White Lotus,” and…the French. Perhaps we need to stop judging unspoken arrangements and accept that sometimes it works better when everything’s not “out in the open.”
3️⃣ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞: Dan shared a golden rule for any short-term relationship including casual sex: the Campsite Rule. The principle is simple yet profound: Always do your best to leave people in a better shape than you found them, just as you would a campsite. It’s a reminder of the care and respect we owe each other, regardless of the duration of our relationships, no matter how ephemeral.
Thank you, Dan, for an unforgettable and transformative experience! 🙏💖
#UniversityofWashington #UWSeattle #WashingtonHuskies #UWHuskies #DanSavage #SavageLove | Posted on 20/Mar/2024 05:55:48
