Courtney Nelson Instagram – TRIGGER WARNING 🚨🚨🚨
I went back and forth on posting this, for fear of being judged and I’m still not 100% if I will keep this up but…
Something very hard & personal I’ve been dealing with has come to the surface and I owe it to everyone to explain what has happened, why I took a break from things like live-streaming, why unless it’s work related, I’ve been hard to get ahold of, and where I am now.
Recently, I had to face the reality of seeing my mother that I don’t have a relationship with-being evicted from her home because of severe hoarding and mental health issues. She is elderly, she has been a drug addict as far as I know-for all my life. It’s been very hard making contact with someone who abused you, abused themselves with substances, and you were the outlet. I think something people don’t talk about merely enough is how hard it is to be an empath and not have the capacity to hate someone-when you have every right to.
I was out at 17, I didn’t graduate high school, I slept in shelters before people took me under their wing, and I feel as though I almost didn’t have a fair chance at life.. which for all of this-I should hate her. But unfortunately I’ve never hated anyone, and I can’t start now.
I’m saying all of this because: 1.) I need to be as authentic and honest as possible if I want to be a true artist, or any form of creator. 2.) if you resonate with any of this, and that hole in your heart makes you realize you aren’t alone-then I did something powerful with my trauma instead of carrying it around everyday.
Please if you are without parents, or you have a parent who struggles with addiction & mental health, or you have been abused: know that you aren’t alone. I know it’s isolating, especially when you have holidays every year, and you might start getting anxious for ‘who’s house am I going to for thanksgiving’ and on the doctor’s forms that ask for ‘emergency contact’ information-because sometimes you don’t have anyone to put down, just know..
I’m here for you, and I love you 🩷 | Posted on 31/Aug/2024 13:16:03
