Addison Timlin

Addison Timlin Instagram – Today you turn 4. I’m instantly called to the first time I held you in my arms, a feeling rushed with so much joy and such relief, I’ll never get over it. I often joke about the little ways you out yourself on your many lives here before us- cupping your hand over your mouth to smell your own breath, saying “now her voice will be different” when your sister lost her first tooth. Looking over at me at a party and saying “are you thinking what I’m thinking?” I have never been so stunned by a person so completely so all of the time. When you were 2 months old I played Chopin in our newborn haze, your lip was downturned quivering and your eyes filled with tears. A genius, I thought. But what I have learned in these last 4 years is that you are holding a wisdom that most of us are just beginning to touch. A memory, I know. Your laugh takes up your whole body and your whole body moves like it’s 10x heavier than it actually is. You remind me of my mother, and my mother of me; a healing conduit of time travel for us both. You don’t like it when it’s loud and often “feel shy of people”. You always want to go home and always want to sleep in. You are always hungry for something yummy and you always want to snuggle. This summer we went to a water park and on the lazy river holding me tightly as the warm water carried us gently, round and round- you looked at me and we spoke telepathically as we often do. You said “do you remember?” I said “yes of course I do.” You said “let’s stay forever” I said “baby this is what remembering is for” I have spent a lot of time watching you be wary of the world, building a hard shell for your delicate center but these last few weeks I have seen you crack open. An entirely new version of the joy/relief for me to unpack.
When we got out of the lazy river I wrapped you up in a towel and held you in my arms (the best way to get a glimpse of your newborn baby while they are in toddler form) and I swear on your life and all things holy in this world- you looked up at me and said “E.T. phone home.” Well, my little extra terrestrial, this big scary world has called on you again and I think you must be here to change it. I love you infinitely. | Posted on 13/Dec/2024 03:29:44