Kimberly Williams-Paisley Instagram – I’ve been going through a thing.
Almost two years ago I lost my voice on stage at my Alzheimer’s event in Nashville. It was embarrassing & scary & it never quite came back. It’s been a challenging couple of years, but we finally got to the bottom of it. I have damage to my laryngeal nerve. I tried everything I could to heal it (so thank you but please don’t give me any tips!). I was finally able to have surgery this week at @vanderbilthealth with expert surgeons, & it is sounding so much better!! I have a badass scar that’s smiling at me across my neck. (Swipe for the drawing my brother made on top of the image if you can handle it. 😂😳)
I haven’t wanted to share about this much until now because it felt too vulnerable. I took for granted my ability to “use my voice” before—for my career, for a good cause, for a timely joke, for SELF-EXPRESSION, for a loud dinner party. Instead, I’ve been the quietest in the room. I’ve felt meek. New people I’ve met thought I was a shy or reserved person. I’ve felt trapped in my body.
I’ve been through shame & self-loathing, all kinds of training, breathing techniques, & braces & healing & laughing & crying & explaining. I’ve met many amazing helpers along the way who’ve become amazing friends & I’m feeling SO GRATEFUL.
I was awake for the three hour laryngoplasty to plump up my paralyzed vocal cord so it hits the other one (She’s so happy not to be doing all the work by herself anymore. She was EXHAUSTED). I watched a lot of it on a video screen above my head as it happened and all I can say is MODERN MEDICINE IS MIRACULOUS.
THE OTHER GOOD NEWS: In the last two years, I’ve found power in using my voice in new ways. I’ve healed old emotional wounds. I’ve learned the strength & beauty of silence. I’ve become a serious meditator. I’m deadlifting over a hundred pounds. I’m taking better care of my body. I’m managing stress. I’m dissolving shame. I’m feeling more whole, empowered & joyful.
As I learned from a recent @katecbowler podcast, if you’re going through hell, don’t come out empty-handed. Was losing my voice worth it? Mm, not exactly. Was it worthless? Not for a second.
xo | Posted on 17/Aug/2024 23:42:08
