Paloma Faith Instagram – I threw my youngest a party at the weekend.
Joyous screams, jelly and ice cream, balloons popping, hysteria and loud music. And then they left, running off to their father’s house because it was “his night.” The house once bursting with energy, now sat still.. Carefree mess, deflated balloons, smeared chocolate on pink velvet chairs.
I sat and stared at the wall, full of sugar, wondering if I was fat and ugly now or just tired and old, after being kept awake by excited children the night before. This was a tragedy one cannot explain. The sound, the frenetic energy completely stopped. The promise of other kids screaming outside, hoping it was my own, saying they couldn’t bear to leave and wanted to come back. But it wouldn’t be. It shouldn’t be. They need both parents.
So they hugged me on their way out, smiling, saying, “Thank you, Mama, for the best party ever.”
And then I was there, worn out, glazed, wondering if I should spend the rest of my free time tidying their mess or go and drink three margaritas and smoke roll-ups…
This was lonely. | Posted on 25/Feb/2025 22:25:21
