Polina Pushkareva

Polina Pushkareva Instagram – I’ve met him in between my breakups with that on-and-off messy situationship. He was tall, hot, smart, but my heart couldn’t SEE anyone else, so we lost contact for months.
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Meeting again six months later, I was doing so much therapy; my whole identity and set of values started to change — I was losing the “old me,” but the new one wasn’t born just yet. I felt that I was disappearing; it felt so scary, and I just cried the whole date. We CitiBiked through the Brooklyn Bridge and hugged a lottt.
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“-It will get better, I promise.”
“-Thank you for not being scared of my feelings.”
“-Not scary.”
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Now I learn that if I get in my head, I can just call, and I am going to be reassured. Now I learn that I don’t have to suppress my feelings because he can handle it/ handle *me.* Now I learn that showing embarrassing parts of myself isn’t embarrassing when no one judges you. Now I learn that I don’t have to mold myself to be someone else to not trigger someone’s traumas while fucking up myself.
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11 months later, I am hopping on my LaGuardia–Miami flight every single week because I need to get some warmth here — and I’m not talking about the Miami weather.
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Even if we had tried something back in January, it wouldn’t have worked, because I needed to grow to SEE him. | Posted on 09/Nov/2025 22:05:53