My heart is broken, but Niki always said “if your heart breaks, make sure it breaks open.” Niki was Henry’s Godmother, the only reason I survived childbirth, and the only person who could get me to eat a vegetable in college. I met her at a Halloween party in 2002 where she went as “a man.” I was an alien and I dressed up as one too. We both knew all the words to RENT and that was it. Half the time we only spoke to each other in a bad Scottish accents for no reason except to make talking go on longer. I’ve never loved anything more than her and I’ve never hated anything more than cancer.
My heart is broken, but Niki always said “if your heart breaks, make sure it breaks open.” Niki was Henry’s Godmother, the only reason I survived childbirth, and the only person who could get me to eat a vegetable in college. I met her at a Halloween party in 2002 where she went as “a man.” I was an alien and I dressed up as one too. We both knew all the words to RENT and that was it. Half the time we only spoke to each other in a bad Scottish accents for no reason except to make talking go on longer. I’ve never loved anything more than her and I’ve never hated anything more than cancer.
My heart is broken, but Niki always said “if your heart breaks, make sure it breaks open.” Niki was Henry’s Godmother, the only reason I survived childbirth, and the only person who could get me to eat a vegetable in college. I met her at a Halloween party in 2002 where she went as “a man.” I was an alien and I dressed up as one too. We both knew all the words to RENT and that was it. Half the time we only spoke to each other in a bad Scottish accents for no reason except to make talking go on longer. I’ve never loved anything more than her and I’ve never hated anything more than cancer.
My heart is broken, but Niki always said “if your heart breaks, make sure it breaks open.” Niki was Henry’s Godmother, the only reason I survived childbirth, and the only person who could get me to eat a vegetable in college. I met her at a Halloween party in 2002 where she went as “a man.” I was an alien and I dressed up as one too. We both knew all the words to RENT and that was it. Half the time we only spoke to each other in a bad Scottish accents for no reason except to make talking go on longer. I’ve never loved anything more than her and I’ve never hated anything more than cancer.
My heart is broken, but Niki always said “if your heart breaks, make sure it breaks open.” Niki was Henry’s Godmother, the only reason I survived childbirth, and the only person who could get me to eat a vegetable in college. I met her at a Halloween party in 2002 where she went as “a man.” I was an alien and I dressed up as one too. We both knew all the words to RENT and that was it. Half the time we only spoke to each other in a bad Scottish accents for no reason except to make talking go on longer. I’ve never loved anything more than her and I’ve never hated anything more than cancer.
My heart is broken, but Niki always said “if your heart breaks, make sure it breaks open.” Niki was Henry’s Godmother, the only reason I survived childbirth, and the only person who could get me to eat a vegetable in college. I met her at a Halloween party in 2002 where she went as “a man.” I was an alien and I dressed up as one too. We both knew all the words to RENT and that was it. Half the time we only spoke to each other in a bad Scottish accents for no reason except to make talking go on longer. I’ve never loved anything more than her and I’ve never hated anything more than cancer.
My heart is broken, but Niki always said “if your heart breaks, make sure it breaks open.” Niki was Henry’s Godmother, the only reason I survived childbirth, and the only person who could get me to eat a vegetable in college. I met her at a Halloween party in 2002 where she went as “a man.” I was an alien and I dressed up as one too. We both knew all the words to RENT and that was it. Half the time we only spoke to each other in a bad Scottish accents for no reason except to make talking go on longer. I’ve never loved anything more than her and I’ve never hated anything more than cancer.
If you’re an NFL fan ready to jump ship, Fan Switch has you covered — because, as they say, Loyalty is for Losers 🤣 @whitneycummings
She is who showed me women could be funny and weird and awkward and neurotic and human and wear blazers and laugh at the wrong times and have frizzy hair and not have to dress for dudes. I’d say Diane Keaton is perfect but she changed my life by saying “what is perfection anyway? It’s the death of creativity,” so instead I’ll say she’s my comedy hero. 💔
@whitneycummings stops by to deliver a message to Dems for 2028: If you keep holding out for Mr. Right, we’re going to end up with Mr. Alt-Right
Thank you everyone on planes who let Henry throw away your fake trash and for being chill about our hillbilly baby Pooh bear fashions
My sons diagnosis
It’s not a big deal @ilonamaher and I are now a coven and @chriscobracole and @jordanmailata will be in the sequel to the movie Twins 🤯🤯
It’s not a big deal @ilonamaher and I are now a coven and @chriscobracole and @jordanmailata will be in the sequel to the movie Twins 🤯🤯
I went to @aefeagles in Pigeon Forge, TN and got to meet Liberty, the eagle who flies at the @philadelphiaeagles games and I have never been more star struck because GoBirds💚
Last year we went as Raygun and cardboard – couples costumes are so hard what should we do? Sarah from Labrynth and the worm? Glinda and Elphaba? Ratchet Barbie and skate Ken? A snake charmer and @chriscobracole?
Last year we went as Raygun and cardboard – couples costumes are so hard what should we do? Sarah from Labrynth and the worm? Glinda and Elphaba? Ratchet Barbie and skate Ken? A snake charmer and @chriscobracole?
Moms night out is honestly a VIBE 🤟 I don’t know if this is legal but if you do bring your child to a show, I always have 4 monster trucks on me at all times know that EAU CLAIRE, WI – Mar 6 ROCHESTER, MN – Mar 7 SACRAMENTO, CA – Mar 13 SANTA ROSA, CA – Mar 14 ST. LOUIS, MO – Mar 19 DETROIT, MI – Mar 20 OMAHA, NE – Mar 27 DES MOINES, IA – Mar 28 PHILADELPHIA, PA – Apr 3 ATLANTA, GA – Apr 10 JACKSONVILLE, FL – Apr 11 SAN ANTONIO, TX – May 7 OKLAHOMA CITY, OK – May 8 FAYETTEVILLE, AR – May 9:
Doing stand up is my favorite thing to do on earth. Thanks for letting me do it. I’m on tour ✨ Upcoming dates: EAU CLAIRE, WI – Mar 6 ROCHESTER, MN – Mar 7 SACRAMENTO, CA – Mar 13 SANTA ROSA, CA – Mar 14 ST. LOUIS, MO – Mar 19 DETROIT, MI – Mar 20 OMAHA, NE – Mar 27 DES MOINES, IA – Mar 28 PHILADELPHIA, PA – Apr 3 ATLANTA, GA – Apr 10 JACKSONVILLE, FL – Apr 11 SAN ANTONIO, TX – May 7 OKLAHOMA CITY, OK – May 8 FAYETTEVILLE, AR – May 9
Doing stand up is my favorite thing to do on earth. Thanks for letting me do it. I’m on tour ✨ Upcoming dates: EAU CLAIRE, WI – Mar 6 ROCHESTER, MN – Mar 7 SACRAMENTO, CA – Mar 13 SANTA ROSA, CA – Mar 14 ST. LOUIS, MO – Mar 19 DETROIT, MI – Mar 20 OMAHA, NE – Mar 27 DES MOINES, IA – Mar 28 PHILADELPHIA, PA – Apr 3 ATLANTA, GA – Apr 10 JACKSONVILLE, FL – Apr 11 SAN ANTONIO, TX – May 7 OKLAHOMA CITY, OK – May 8 FAYETTEVILLE, AR – May 9
Doing stand up is my favorite thing to do on earth. Thanks for letting me do it. I’m on tour ✨ Upcoming dates: EAU CLAIRE, WI – Mar 6 ROCHESTER, MN – Mar 7 SACRAMENTO, CA – Mar 13 SANTA ROSA, CA – Mar 14 ST. LOUIS, MO – Mar 19 DETROIT, MI – Mar 20 OMAHA, NE – Mar 27 DES MOINES, IA – Mar 28 PHILADELPHIA, PA – Apr 3 ATLANTA, GA – Apr 10 JACKSONVILLE, FL – Apr 11 SAN ANTONIO, TX – May 7 OKLAHOMA CITY, OK – May 8 FAYETTEVILLE, AR – May 9
Doing stand up is my favorite thing to do on earth. Thanks for letting me do it. I’m on tour ✨ Upcoming dates: EAU CLAIRE, WI – Mar 6 ROCHESTER, MN – Mar 7 SACRAMENTO, CA – Mar 13 SANTA ROSA, CA – Mar 14 ST. LOUIS, MO – Mar 19 DETROIT, MI – Mar 20 OMAHA, NE – Mar 27 DES MOINES, IA – Mar 28 PHILADELPHIA, PA – Apr 3 ATLANTA, GA – Apr 10 JACKSONVILLE, FL – Apr 11 SAN ANTONIO, TX – May 7 OKLAHOMA CITY, OK – May 8 FAYETTEVILLE, AR – May 9
Do not propose with the help of Chat GPT guys (@chriscobracole)
Y’all’s parenting advice has been both very wild and super helpful. Give more in the comments because parenting is truly wild. See you in December New Orleans and Ft. Lauderdale 🤟
