Lisa Ray Instagram – On Steroids: you are HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. When Dr. Ahmed Galal, my Hematologist at PMH gave me my first cycle of meds, he capped his recommendation off with a charming gesture that meant: Beware of sweets. Well. Sweet things aren’t the only temptation. Every cycle of treatment, I’m on Dexamethasone for four days on, then four days off. Who knew it would turn me into a free range chicken, pecking the landscape freely. I find it distracting to walk down my street without stopping for a nibble at the Pie Shack, scoping some sushi or sampling up kimchi and eggs. I’m currently obsessed with pepperettes. I had a Gollum-worthy breakdown at the counter recently when I found out they haven’t been restocked. So I’ve always been fond of food, fought my battles with food (having been a model) and finally at 37 discovered balance. Until the steroids hit that is. Then I see a plate of Halibut and Fries and my stomach goes: THAT IS MINE. I know I should be doing other things. Like, uh…healing. But so far I’ve kept up a punishingly normal schedule, even during treatments. I take meetings, write, sign contracts, teach yoga, buy a house, begin to renovate said house. It’s the covert type ‘A’ in me. My day job of manufacturing an alternative reality for a role have also come in handy. But I know I’m not trusting the situation. I’m treating my battle like its inconvenient, managing the stage like a tyrannical Bollywood choreographer, but worst of all, I’m not looking it in the eye. I’m letting the situation tyranise my heart. I need to ask for help and support. They say, name it, then you can recognise it. Then deal with it. Yup. In time. Back to Life on Steroids. The wetsuit. It’s an entirely unique experience. When I’m on steroids, I can feel my skin stretch and expand and move in ways and sensations I haven’t felt before. It can be fascinating. I bloat up to three times my normal ’size’. It’s like putting on a wetsuit. Except its kinda permanent. Until you stop taking the ‘roids. Then I deflate again. Now all this time, I understand the meds are doing their work. I can feel it. I call it Gently Carbonating.Except it feels like I have fleas.