Lisa Ray Instagram – Eight years ago I embarked on a health odyssey I chronicled in a blog called #TheYellowDiaries. A lot has changed, both in myself and the world. I think it’s time to revisit #TheYellowDiaries and share some of the words here both to remind myself and connect with you from the deepest part of myself. #TheYellowDiaries FROM THE MARROW September 7, 2009 (Cont’d) I believe. But right now I’m a Cancer intern, covert social watcher and I’m doing all this against the backdrop of deciding whether to appear at the Toronto International Film Festival and wondering if I should have cancelled that meeting with that director while bloated up on my ‘roids’ or I should have just come clean. ‘Yes- I have cancer. The meds shift the shape of my body in ways I can’t predict- but I can still perform torridly well and are looks really still that important in showbiz anyways? I have so much more to say now than ever before…’ Should have said it. Didn’t. But I’m writing this blog. I’m not sure why and that’s probably the best beginning. Many people become members of the cancer club. Loads of artists struggle with a the capricious nature of our business. There’s lots of ‘coming home’ stories out there. Maybe I’m just finally listening to my marrow. I asked around if I should speak openly about getting diagnosed recently with Multiple Myeloma. Some advised me to keep my ‘condition’ a secret as it could negatively affect my career. Buh? I’m plumper, redder, more energetic and wily than ever before- Kiss me like I’ve been kidnapped! Tara Maclean, one of my closest friends talked about how the role of an artist is to use every experience- especially the painful ones- and transform them by sharing. Laura Simms my NY based professional Story teller/surrogate jewish mother highlighted the ‘pathology of perfection’ which we suffer from in this age. How celebrity culture and media create unrealistic expectations in ourselves and others and how perhaps sharing my experiences in preparing for the Toronto Film Festival juxtaposed with my ongoing chemotherapy and treatments could inform and loosen these expectations. Image @farrokhchothia