Lisa Ray Instagram – I had an exchange on social media (ahem twitter) that left me feeling raw and prickly, confused and defensive. A presumably professional Indian woman who lives in America responded to one of my tweets by sharing ‘I have two boys but I think if I had a girl I might end up protecting her the same way Devi’s mom did.’ This all started when I voiced my opinion on the Netflix series #NeverHaveIEver. But forget that, I became fixated by her blatant gender biased admission that girls need protecting, not sons. As the mom of twin daughters, of course this hits home and hard. I had to ask myself why this notion triggers me so deeply. I came up with two things: . 1. Women re-enforcing patriarchal ideas and unwilling to decode those attitudes in 2020 is…um…I don’t want to be impolite now, so I’ll just say disappointing. 2. Treating daughters differently from sons is dangerous. It comes down to this: victim-shaming. A woman who has been ‘protected’ her whole life is often the one who shoulders blame in a case where she is violated. We see this happen with dispiriting regularity. Why did she dress like that? She was asking for trouble staying out at night. All these patriarchal judgements mouthed mindlessly, rather than rotten societal attitudes over turned. Anyhow, I take every opportunity to expose my girls to strong, empathetic, open minded woman moulding their lives and dreams with determination and compassion. Here’s some images of #Souffle on the set of @4moreshotspls getting a lesson in living your best life from our DOP @nehapartimatiyani and MUH @shraddhabachani Real role models- on set and off- are available if you look for them.