Lisa Ray Instagram – After years of running, Cortisol- the chemical of stress and the source of inflammation in my mind and body- had altered my biochemistry. Did I believe a spiritual disconnect was the source of my illness? Partially, yes. Am I free today of emotional distractions and subconscious chatter? No. But just as you can retrain your palate, I work to retrain my nervous system, coaxing it from the fight or flight response, through daily meditation, retreats, reflection…there’s no short cuts to wholeness. . . And I was so afraid of being loved. Until I met myself. Certainly my beloved is my partner in love and life but I needed to lay claim to my pain, to my shadow side as well as my many joys. It is natural to feel, to be vulnerable and to share. It is part of the fabric of the human condition. I whispered love to myself, like to a child. I saw myself through the tenderness of a mother’s eyes. I sent love into the broken, neglected places of myself. I focused on flipping the pain perspective to turn it into a journey towards self love, self discovery and compassion Now I am glued to life. I have the unshakeable honesty of a woman who knows her worth. I am strange and contradictory, I am ageing and my body is spreading, I’m socially awkward and that’s all right. Real wealth, I’ve always believed, is measured by owning your days, not by accumulating homes and cars. I’d always questioned inherited values, so redefining success for myself means this: Going to the borders of yourself, expanding from there by failing, by falling, by rising. By unearthing buried instinct. By accepting my gifts and my limitations. By laughing. Behind the gloss and the gods of economic forces, cities are erupting. Lifetimes of contained anger and resentment, untended wounds land like violent strokes on a canvas. Can we, in the time we have alone and confined, pay obeisance to the very human experience of being broken, being misunderstood and vulnerable. Ultimate resilience to me, lies in the ability to open completely to each experience and to know the sublime states of a heart led life. Can we make friends with ourselves before stepping back into the world?