Anjali Lavania Instagram – Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. Love yourself enough to know when someone is mistreating you or taking you for granted. GUIDANCE: 1, Cutting off contact with a toxic ex has scientifically proven benefits that help you heal. Maybe you can be friends when both of you have healed and learned how to respect each other – but in the meantime – Block or hide your ex on all the apps you use with them – Instagram, Facebook, etc. Delete your toxic ex from your phone so that you don’t get tempted to send an angry or emotional message. If you interact with your toxic ex without healing any bitter memories – Studies show that your brain will react as if the betrayal/heartbreak has just happened. Each time you think of how your ex hurt you – your brain releases the stress response – the fight or flight response – as if that situation is happening right now – which is very unhealthy. Just like how we cry real tears when we watch a movie – our body can’t tell the difference between a memory and what’s happening now. So if you continue to meet your ex without healing – the bitter memories of how your ex caused you pain – will keep resurfacing – until you both put in the energy to heal the past. 2, If you have kids with your ex – you’ll probably still have to communicate. So aim for minimal polite contact. 3, Hide all reminders that act as a dopamine fix – Remove or hide anything that triggers memories of your ex. 4, Remind yourself of why your ex didn’t bring out the best in you. Make sure you remember the complete picture – the good and bad memories – so that you don’t think of your toxic ex in an idealized way by blocking out what really happened. Think of all the things that your ex did that were rude or hurtful? Write down all of the ways your ex wasn’t a good match for you. Keep this list on your phone and read it every time you get tempted to reach out. 5, Refocus your thoughts on activities that engage your brain: Hang out with friends who encourage you in positive ways /Be creative / plan a holiday