In case trailers aren’t you thing, let me sum this up. Very attractive people fighting for the soul of the valley. For Hanukkah.
Merry Merry! @cobrakaiseries
It’s hard to pick a favorite Macchio. They’re a charming and talented family of vampires.
But for the purposes of this post I’m gonna vote for the chick to my right, who is like a sister to me. Sure our age difference and the fact that I’m TV married to her father suggests I’m closer to a mother figure – but fuck that. If the Macchio’s can spit on the crotch of aging, than so will I.
I adored Miss @julia_macchio long before she crushed the role of Cousin Vanessa in season 4 But now the whole world (and readers of @people ) will know what I’ve known all along …
@julia_macchio is a FORCE!
And the Macchio family drinks the blood of babies to stay eternally young.
@cobrakaiseries
It’s hard to pick a favorite Macchio. They’re a charming and talented family of vampires.
But for the purposes of this post I’m gonna vote for the chick to my right, who is like a sister to me. Sure our age difference and the fact that I’m TV married to her father suggests I’m closer to a mother figure – but fuck that. If the Macchio’s can spit on the crotch of aging, than so will I.
I adored Miss @julia_macchio long before she crushed the role of Cousin Vanessa in season 4 But now the whole world (and readers of @people ) will know what I’ve known all along …
@julia_macchio is a FORCE!
And the Macchio family drinks the blood of babies to stay eternally young.
@cobrakaiseries
It’s hard to pick a favorite Macchio. They’re a charming and talented family of vampires.
But for the purposes of this post I’m gonna vote for the chick to my right, who is like a sister to me. Sure our age difference and the fact that I’m TV married to her father suggests I’m closer to a mother figure – but fuck that. If the Macchio’s can spit on the crotch of aging, than so will I.
I adored Miss @julia_macchio long before she crushed the role of Cousin Vanessa in season 4 But now the whole world (and readers of @people ) will know what I’ve known all along …
@julia_macchio is a FORCE!
And the Macchio family drinks the blood of babies to stay eternally young.
@cobrakaiseries
It’s hard to pick a favorite Macchio. They’re a charming and talented family of vampires.
But for the purposes of this post I’m gonna vote for the chick to my right, who is like a sister to me. Sure our age difference and the fact that I’m TV married to her father suggests I’m closer to a mother figure – but fuck that. If the Macchio’s can spit on the crotch of aging, than so will I.
I adored Miss @julia_macchio long before she crushed the role of Cousin Vanessa in season 4 But now the whole world (and readers of @people ) will know what I’ve known all along …
@julia_macchio is a FORCE!
And the Macchio family drinks the blood of babies to stay eternally young.
@cobrakaiseries
This guy’s on @colbertlateshow tonight! I’ve chosen to celebrate with a picture of what I can only assume is @ralph_macchio and me from our unaired sitcom about an overly enthusiastic couple who’s been hired to greet karate souls at the gates of heaven?
Still workshopping that last part…
It’s called: Cobra Die.
Ok. I’ll put myself to bed now.
The hottest (and possibly only) Karate moms you know @veryvness @diorabaird @cobrakaiseries
My kid told me I look like Frosty the Snowman’s mom.
I don’t believe he is incorrect.
I was aiming for Frosty’s side-piece.
But try explaining that to a 4 year old. ☃️
My kid told me I look like Frosty the Snowman’s mom.
I don’t believe he is incorrect.
I was aiming for Frosty’s side-piece.
But try explaining that to a 4 year old. ☃️
This is 43 🎉
Seems like just yesterday I was 42.
Which evidently I was when this picture was taken.
So yes, technically this is 42. But I have a good doctor so basically you can’t tell the difference.
43 may sound old to some of you. But not to me. Not to someone who’s pretend married to @ralph_macchio , who’s 60. Now that’s old.
Even tho he glows like a goddamn 13 year old. Skin like a dew drop. Screw that guy, amiright?
But enough about Ralph Macchio and the vampire he clearly befriended in his youth. This is about me.
I was born 42/43 years ago today.
I wasn’t a particularly adorable baby but what I lacked in hair and over all attractiveness I made up for in personality and 22 hours of unrelenting crying.
So. I should probably call my mom today.
Happy Birthday to me! 🎂
Not gonna lie. The day @veryvness showed up on the set of Cobra Kai with her longer than humanely possible legs, adorable dimples and generally delightful personality – my first thought was:
“Well fuck her then.”
Followed by:
“Who does she think she is, being abnormally tall? That’s MY thing.”
Wait. And she’s nice too. Wicked smart AND younger than me?
Screw that chick.
Who has time for this shit?
But then of course we started talking. And I realized there’s no one in the world I’d rather hang out, partially dressed, in a bathtub with.
Happy Birthday to my favorite Sagittarius! You are a friggin delight. 🎉🎂
Not gonna lie. The day @veryvness showed up on the set of Cobra Kai with her longer than humanely possible legs, adorable dimples and generally delightful personality – my first thought was:
“Well fuck her then.”
Followed by:
“Who does she think she is, being abnormally tall? That’s MY thing.”
Wait. And she’s nice too. Wicked smart AND younger than me?
Screw that chick.
Who has time for this shit?
But then of course we started talking. And I realized there’s no one in the world I’d rather hang out, partially dressed, in a bathtub with.
Happy Birthday to my favorite Sagittarius! You are a friggin delight. 🎉🎂
Not gonna lie. The day @veryvness showed up on the set of Cobra Kai with her longer than humanely possible legs, adorable dimples and generally delightful personality – my first thought was:
“Well fuck her then.”
Followed by:
“Who does she think she is, being abnormally tall? That’s MY thing.”
Wait. And she’s nice too. Wicked smart AND younger than me?
Screw that chick.
Who has time for this shit?
But then of course we started talking. And I realized there’s no one in the world I’d rather hang out, partially dressed, in a bathtub with.
Happy Birthday to my favorite Sagittarius! You are a friggin delight. 🎉🎂
Not gonna lie. The day @veryvness showed up on the set of Cobra Kai with her longer than humanely possible legs, adorable dimples and generally delightful personality – my first thought was:
“Well fuck her then.”
Followed by:
“Who does she think she is, being abnormally tall? That’s MY thing.”
Wait. And she’s nice too. Wicked smart AND younger than me?
Screw that chick.
Who has time for this shit?
But then of course we started talking. And I realized there’s no one in the world I’d rather hang out, partially dressed, in a bathtub with.
Happy Birthday to my favorite Sagittarius! You are a friggin delight. 🎉🎂
I invited @veryvness and @curtyphotog over last night to look at my @alexperryofficial hot pink two piece. Didn’t give them food, forced them to split a mediocre bottle of red wine with me while hiding snausages in my pockets to sucker @pinkythepit into sitting near me.
I think they’ll all agree, we’re all winners here.
📸 @curtyphotog
💄 @abrajamiecline
👗 @alexperryofficial
I invited @veryvness and @curtyphotog over last night to look at my @alexperryofficial hot pink two piece. Didn’t give them food, forced them to split a mediocre bottle of red wine with me while hiding snausages in my pockets to sucker @pinkythepit into sitting near me.
I think they’ll all agree, we’re all winners here.
📸 @curtyphotog
💄 @abrajamiecline
👗 @alexperryofficial
I invited @veryvness and @curtyphotog over last night to look at my @alexperryofficial hot pink two piece. Didn’t give them food, forced them to split a mediocre bottle of red wine with me while hiding snausages in my pockets to sucker @pinkythepit into sitting near me.
I think they’ll all agree, we’re all winners here.
📸 @curtyphotog
💄 @abrajamiecline
👗 @alexperryofficial
My weekend in 3 slides
1. Mama’s gotta brand new bodysuit and a vampire den and she doesn’t care who knows it!
2. Force @ralph_macchio tattoos on anyone or anything
3. Ow. Wine hurts and so does waking up with small children and your @ralph_macchio neck tattoo.
The end.
My weekend in 3 slides
1. Mama’s gotta brand new bodysuit and a vampire den and she doesn’t care who knows it!
2. Force @ralph_macchio tattoos on anyone or anything
3. Ow. Wine hurts and so does waking up with small children and your @ralph_macchio neck tattoo.
The end.
My weekend in 3 slides
1. Mama’s gotta brand new bodysuit and a vampire den and she doesn’t care who knows it!
2. Force @ralph_macchio tattoos on anyone or anything
3. Ow. Wine hurts and so does waking up with small children and your @ralph_macchio neck tattoo.
The end.
It seems like only yesterday 7 year old Courtney was watching the Karate Kid thinking, “Gee, I wonder if that will be my future husband…”
I’m obviously referring to Pat Morita.
But then my mom reminded me that I was 7 and he’s like 43 and I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.
The next logical step was to hold out 30 years until I could meet Ralph Macchio and make a fake family with violent tendencies with him.
And here we are.
Happy Birthday Ralph!
I’m so happy to be fake married to a 60 year old.
In an attempt shield my husband from social media and yet still celebrate his 40 years of life, I’m posting a picture of me looking radiant and my husband looking like a Eugene Levy. Because I’m nothing if not selfless partner.
Happy birthday mystery husband! I can’t believe it took you this long to turn 40. But now that you’re here, you don’t look a day over 41 and a half. I’m lucky to have found someone who not only makes decent looking children but is enough of an alcoholic that enlisting @cakesbyjohnny to fashion a cake into an enormous bottle of Johnny Walker Black is not lost on you. I’m so glad you were born! Even if it was 3 years after me. Which lets be honest, doesn’t make sense. Since I’m 30. I love you Chad.
In an attempt shield my husband from social media and yet still celebrate his 40 years of life, I’m posting a picture of me looking radiant and my husband looking like a Eugene Levy. Because I’m nothing if not selfless partner.
Happy birthday mystery husband! I can’t believe it took you this long to turn 40. But now that you’re here, you don’t look a day over 41 and a half. I’m lucky to have found someone who not only makes decent looking children but is enough of an alcoholic that enlisting @cakesbyjohnny to fashion a cake into an enormous bottle of Johnny Walker Black is not lost on you. I’m so glad you were born! Even if it was 3 years after me. Which lets be honest, doesn’t make sense. Since I’m 30. I love you Chad.
