Okay. I don’t know how to start or finish discussing this so we should start discussing now and take our time. There are two Hallmark movies called “Sister Swap.” One is called Sister Swap: Christmas in the City, the other is Sister Swap: Hometown Holiday. So we thought oh cool it’s a franchise and there’s a sequel, which Sister Swap do we watch first? Well HERE’S THE THING. Both Sister Swaps are released in 2021. They are not sequels. Both Sister Swaps are the same story, about sisters – played by real life sisters, who have to swap…cities. It should be noted that the sisters AND the cities AND THE MOVIES are, so far, indistinguishable. It’s not like one is a hillbilly and the other is a millionaire, that doesn’t matter, we don’t go to Hallmark for conflict. The crazy thing is that we also don’t go to Hallmark for experimentation on this level. Nothing in the description of the movies says “here’s the thing everybody.” The descriptions of each movie are honestly mostly excited that two real life sisters are playing sisters. We found an article called “how to watch the Sister Swap movies” and got so excited and then it turned out to be instructions on how to find Hallmark on your streaming service. I can’t keep talking about this, we just started watching, I can’t spend all night posting about it. We keep going back and forth between the movies. The same conversations are happening in each one but there’s no “Rashomon” or “Peep Show” angle, the dialogue in each version is identical but the scenes are cut differently because I assume they just had different editors. In one of the movies, one of the sisters has a full flashback about her relationship with the other sister. In the other sister’s movie, you don’t get a different version of the same flashback. You just don’t get a fucking flashback in that one. In both of the movies, they spend 1 minute trying on hats but in ONE of the movies, they also try on glasses. We’re freaking out and I can’t keep typing about it I will come back later i fucking love Christmas though
These are both Sister Swap movies. Notice there’s no way to “synchronize” them, you’d have to choose one line to synchronize and then all other lines would be offset. And at the end of this selection, you see the important difference: One movie has one sister’s “meet cute” to do IN THE RESTAURANT, a meet cute that is of no importance to the other sister’s movie which can therefore CUT TO LATER when the sisters are about to swap. I assume this means the other sister’s meet cute will take up the time she SAVED BY NOT HAVING A FLASHBACK AND NOT TRYING ON GLASSES I LOVE THIS FUCKING MOVIE(S) FUCK YOU CHRISTOPHER NOLAN
Me: “what’s more gorgeous than an empty bar at Christmas time?” Mark, @foxfireroom owner: “customers.”
Me and my old drinking buddy in Brooklyn. Neither will ever be this hot again and never have been. Key is to hold that camera HIGH 📷@lisacorrao
Zero mitzvahs were barred on this dance floor. We partied like it was 5783
Bro in law and fellow gentile spy @danvidetich helping me make yarmulkes look rugged at Cody’s cousin’s kid’s bar mitzvah. This isn’t the party part. Just the coffee part after the official holy part. Never seen anything like that ceremony. Pure chaos. Cantor took a piece of candy to the head. Rabbi is a big Community fan but can’t be photographed until sundown or he’ll turn into a wolf (I think I’m getting that right). Little Maya with Aunt Cody. Now time to rest so we can drink a hundred tweens under the table. Shabbat Shalom Ross and Zac thanks for inviting us
Bro in law and fellow gentile spy @danvidetich helping me make yarmulkes look rugged at Cody’s cousin’s kid’s bar mitzvah. This isn’t the party part. Just the coffee part after the official holy part. Never seen anything like that ceremony. Pure chaos. Cantor took a piece of candy to the head. Rabbi is a big Community fan but can’t be photographed until sundown or he’ll turn into a wolf (I think I’m getting that right). Little Maya with Aunt Cody. Now time to rest so we can drink a hundred tweens under the table. Shabbat Shalom Ross and Zac thanks for inviting us
Bro in law and fellow gentile spy @danvidetich helping me make yarmulkes look rugged at Cody’s cousin’s kid’s bar mitzvah. This isn’t the party part. Just the coffee part after the official holy part. Never seen anything like that ceremony. Pure chaos. Cantor took a piece of candy to the head. Rabbi is a big Community fan but can’t be photographed until sundown or he’ll turn into a wolf (I think I’m getting that right). Little Maya with Aunt Cody. Now time to rest so we can drink a hundred tweens under the table. Shabbat Shalom Ross and Zac thanks for inviting us
It didn’t work. The Harmon bump isn’t real. I’m sorry. Mark accepted it so gracefully that i think there’s a victory there. He’s a good guy. I’m not mad at France. At the end of the day we’re all customers I mean family
I try to avoid soccer because it 1. cares what you call it and 2. is a sport, two red flags for me, BUT our British drinking buddy is truly emotionally invested in this game and he’s a really lovable guy so even though France gave us a statue and all of our words about cooking we love our British friend and I feel his anxiety and want him to be happy so we’re drinking unstirred martinis which we believe is the world’s most British drink but we can’t confirm with our British friend because he – and this is what is amazing me – he is spending more time on the sidewalk on the phone with other British people than he is watching the game. Mad respect. Posting this to establish the Harmon Martini World Cup Bump. I believe my endorsement will cost france whatever these gorgeous people are kicking a ball for
One more wholesome dump: 1. @danvidetich the smoke show in law 2. Maya and Cody renew their mission to make me want kids 3. Ryland radiates the casual confidence of a man wearing minecraft underwear 4. Me being skeptical of my placement in my date’s league 5. Me benefiting from having a photographer for a father in law (to be) 6. Me dancing with kids that were either Rick and Morty fans or, per Cody’s theory, making fun of me for being old 7 and 8: impressive pencil work for a birthday boy that isn’t old enough to watch the show yet and 9. Maya doing the whole “I’m listening to Wilco on AirPods to drown out everyone telling me I look cool” thing, we get it you’re seven
One more wholesome dump: 1. @danvidetich the smoke show in law 2. Maya and Cody renew their mission to make me want kids 3. Ryland radiates the casual confidence of a man wearing minecraft underwear 4. Me being skeptical of my placement in my date’s league 5. Me benefiting from having a photographer for a father in law (to be) 6. Me dancing with kids that were either Rick and Morty fans or, per Cody’s theory, making fun of me for being old 7 and 8: impressive pencil work for a birthday boy that isn’t old enough to watch the show yet and 9. Maya doing the whole “I’m listening to Wilco on AirPods to drown out everyone telling me I look cool” thing, we get it you’re seven
One more wholesome dump: 1. @danvidetich the smoke show in law 2. Maya and Cody renew their mission to make me want kids 3. Ryland radiates the casual confidence of a man wearing minecraft underwear 4. Me being skeptical of my placement in my date’s league 5. Me benefiting from having a photographer for a father in law (to be) 6. Me dancing with kids that were either Rick and Morty fans or, per Cody’s theory, making fun of me for being old 7 and 8: impressive pencil work for a birthday boy that isn’t old enough to watch the show yet and 9. Maya doing the whole “I’m listening to Wilco on AirPods to drown out everyone telling me I look cool” thing, we get it you’re seven
One more wholesome dump: 1. @danvidetich the smoke show in law 2. Maya and Cody renew their mission to make me want kids 3. Ryland radiates the casual confidence of a man wearing minecraft underwear 4. Me being skeptical of my placement in my date’s league 5. Me benefiting from having a photographer for a father in law (to be) 6. Me dancing with kids that were either Rick and Morty fans or, per Cody’s theory, making fun of me for being old 7 and 8: impressive pencil work for a birthday boy that isn’t old enough to watch the show yet and 9. Maya doing the whole “I’m listening to Wilco on AirPods to drown out everyone telling me I look cool” thing, we get it you’re seven
One more wholesome dump: 1. @danvidetich the smoke show in law 2. Maya and Cody renew their mission to make me want kids 3. Ryland radiates the casual confidence of a man wearing minecraft underwear 4. Me being skeptical of my placement in my date’s league 5. Me benefiting from having a photographer for a father in law (to be) 6. Me dancing with kids that were either Rick and Morty fans or, per Cody’s theory, making fun of me for being old 7 and 8: impressive pencil work for a birthday boy that isn’t old enough to watch the show yet and 9. Maya doing the whole “I’m listening to Wilco on AirPods to drown out everyone telling me I look cool” thing, we get it you’re seven
One more wholesome dump: 1. @danvidetich the smoke show in law 2. Maya and Cody renew their mission to make me want kids 3. Ryland radiates the casual confidence of a man wearing minecraft underwear 4. Me being skeptical of my placement in my date’s league 5. Me benefiting from having a photographer for a father in law (to be) 6. Me dancing with kids that were either Rick and Morty fans or, per Cody’s theory, making fun of me for being old 7 and 8: impressive pencil work for a birthday boy that isn’t old enough to watch the show yet and 9. Maya doing the whole “I’m listening to Wilco on AirPods to drown out everyone telling me I look cool” thing, we get it you’re seven
One more wholesome dump: 1. @danvidetich the smoke show in law 2. Maya and Cody renew their mission to make me want kids 3. Ryland radiates the casual confidence of a man wearing minecraft underwear 4. Me being skeptical of my placement in my date’s league 5. Me benefiting from having a photographer for a father in law (to be) 6. Me dancing with kids that were either Rick and Morty fans or, per Cody’s theory, making fun of me for being old 7 and 8: impressive pencil work for a birthday boy that isn’t old enough to watch the show yet and 9. Maya doing the whole “I’m listening to Wilco on AirPods to drown out everyone telling me I look cool” thing, we get it you’re seven
One more wholesome dump: 1. @danvidetich the smoke show in law 2. Maya and Cody renew their mission to make me want kids 3. Ryland radiates the casual confidence of a man wearing minecraft underwear 4. Me being skeptical of my placement in my date’s league 5. Me benefiting from having a photographer for a father in law (to be) 6. Me dancing with kids that were either Rick and Morty fans or, per Cody’s theory, making fun of me for being old 7 and 8: impressive pencil work for a birthday boy that isn’t old enough to watch the show yet and 9. Maya doing the whole “I’m listening to Wilco on AirPods to drown out everyone telling me I look cool” thing, we get it you’re seven
One more wholesome dump: 1. @danvidetich the smoke show in law 2. Maya and Cody renew their mission to make me want kids 3. Ryland radiates the casual confidence of a man wearing minecraft underwear 4. Me being skeptical of my placement in my date’s league 5. Me benefiting from having a photographer for a father in law (to be) 6. Me dancing with kids that were either Rick and Morty fans or, per Cody’s theory, making fun of me for being old 7 and 8: impressive pencil work for a birthday boy that isn’t old enough to watch the show yet and 9. Maya doing the whole “I’m listening to Wilco on AirPods to drown out everyone telling me I look cool” thing, we get it you’re seven
Me and Sisters Heller at Nets game
Me and Sisters Heller at Nets game
Me and Sisters Heller at Nets game
There should be a tiny placard here that says “Oh, and you had a perfect 2018?!”
