12/12/21 👼🏼
I keep writing and rewriting this caption, but nothing I say could ever possibly convey the love I have for my sweet Elliot. This perfect baby boy made me a mom. He will forever be the greatest gift of my life.
There is so little I remember from this past year…but I remember meeting you and holding you like it was yesterday. Your love was the strongest thing I have ever felt in my life. I will always love you with all of my heart, Tiny. I can’t wait to see you again someday. Happy first birthday Elliot Angel ❤️
“There is no heartbeat.”
“Your baby is gone.”
“I’m sorry.”
One year ago, my living nightmare began. I will never be the person I was in this photo. The last photo I have before my world turned upside down. The loss of my son stripped me of my identity and of a lifetime of memories. I miss who I used to be. I miss not crying every single day. I miss smiling without grief lingering closely. I miss not being so jealous of moms with living children. I miss socializing before it was so draining. I miss being a good and present friend. This day stole absolutely everything from me.
I miss Elliot. I miss him so fucking much.
“e” for baby Elliot
Tonight is the season finale of Siesta Key. Watching this season, reliving my pregnancy when Elliot was very much alive, has actually been really nice. But tonight, the happy moments come to an end and I’m once again forced to face the devastating reality that my baby is gone. It is a reminder that my memories with Elliot are few and finite. I have been robbed of an entire lifetime of new memories and moments with my son. It’s a fate I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.
I’ve learned that grief is not linear. Sometimes it all feels so surreal that this is my life now. Other times, like today, it becomes so heart-crushingly real that I can barely breathe.
💔💔💔
Music: Elliot’s Song by @dominicfike
“e” for baby Elliot
Tonight is the season finale of Siesta Key. Watching this season, reliving my pregnancy when Elliot was very much alive, has actually been really nice. But tonight, the happy moments come to an end and I’m once again forced to face the devastating reality that my baby is gone. It is a reminder that my memories with Elliot are few and finite. I have been robbed of an entire lifetime of new memories and moments with my son. It’s a fate I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.
I’ve learned that grief is not linear. Sometimes it all feels so surreal that this is my life now. Other times, like today, it becomes so heart-crushingly real that I can barely breathe.
💔💔💔
Music: Elliot’s Song by @dominicfike
Here’s to a glimmer of hope ✨🤞 #infertilitywarrior #secondaryinfertility #stillbirthmama #iui #ttc
🤍 tee @alexandraandwells
🤍 necklace @efcollection
🤍 bracelet @aurasugarco
Happy Mother’s Day mamas! Sending extra love to those who are missing their moms, and to the mamas who are missing their children…today and everyday. I see you 🫶
Fun fact: I walked down the aisle to “A Whole New World” at our wedding 🐭
10.21.21 🥀 “Introducing Mr, Mrs, and coming soon, Tiny Soto!” – @taylorchaus, my beautiful sister and wedding officiant.
Here are some more wedding pics ahead of the Siesta Key season finale tomorrow evening! I can’t emphasize enough how wonderful and dreamy this day was. @oroeventco really made everything absolutely perfect for me and Ish. All I said was I want an enchanted forest/secret garden vibe and with that @oroeventco and @tailoredtwig took all the stress off my hands and created a true fairytale!
Event planner: @oroeventco
Flowers: @tailoredtwig
Venue: @misionlagoestate
Rentals: @gabroeventservices
Photography: @paigestellutophoto
Videography: @onlywavetv
Accommodations: @hardrocktampa
Cake: @elisespieces22
Hair: @cheyanne_hair
Make up: @melissa_colletteartistry
Wedding dress: @stefanienaylor
Bridesmaids dresses: @mumuweddings
Catering: @cblundys
Music: @dj_juicy_one & @candi_theviolinist
Photo booth: @posyexchange
Neons: @novachrome_design_studio
10.21.21 🥀 “Introducing Mr, Mrs, and coming soon, Tiny Soto!” – @taylorchaus, my beautiful sister and wedding officiant.
Here are some more wedding pics ahead of the Siesta Key season finale tomorrow evening! I can’t emphasize enough how wonderful and dreamy this day was. @oroeventco really made everything absolutely perfect for me and Ish. All I said was I want an enchanted forest/secret garden vibe and with that @oroeventco and @tailoredtwig took all the stress off my hands and created a true fairytale!
Event planner: @oroeventco
Flowers: @tailoredtwig
Venue: @misionlagoestate
Rentals: @gabroeventservices
Photography: @paigestellutophoto
Videography: @onlywavetv
Accommodations: @hardrocktampa
Cake: @elisespieces22
Hair: @cheyanne_hair
Make up: @melissa_colletteartistry
Wedding dress: @stefanienaylor
Bridesmaids dresses: @mumuweddings
Catering: @cblundys
Music: @dj_juicy_one & @candi_theviolinist
Photo booth: @posyexchange
Neons: @novachrome_design_studio
10.21.21 🥀 “Introducing Mr, Mrs, and coming soon, Tiny Soto!” – @taylorchaus, my beautiful sister and wedding officiant.
Here are some more wedding pics ahead of the Siesta Key season finale tomorrow evening! I can’t emphasize enough how wonderful and dreamy this day was. @oroeventco really made everything absolutely perfect for me and Ish. All I said was I want an enchanted forest/secret garden vibe and with that @oroeventco and @tailoredtwig took all the stress off my hands and created a true fairytale!
Event planner: @oroeventco
Flowers: @tailoredtwig
Venue: @misionlagoestate
Rentals: @gabroeventservices
Photography: @paigestellutophoto
Videography: @onlywavetv
Accommodations: @hardrocktampa
Cake: @elisespieces22
Hair: @cheyanne_hair
Make up: @melissa_colletteartistry
Wedding dress: @stefanienaylor
Bridesmaids dresses: @mumuweddings
Catering: @cblundys
Music: @dj_juicy_one & @candi_theviolinist
Photo booth: @posyexchange
Neons: @novachrome_design_studio
10.21.21 🥀 “Introducing Mr, Mrs, and coming soon, Tiny Soto!” – @taylorchaus, my beautiful sister and wedding officiant.
Here are some more wedding pics ahead of the Siesta Key season finale tomorrow evening! I can’t emphasize enough how wonderful and dreamy this day was. @oroeventco really made everything absolutely perfect for me and Ish. All I said was I want an enchanted forest/secret garden vibe and with that @oroeventco and @tailoredtwig took all the stress off my hands and created a true fairytale!
Event planner: @oroeventco
Flowers: @tailoredtwig
Venue: @misionlagoestate
Rentals: @gabroeventservices
Photography: @paigestellutophoto
Videography: @onlywavetv
Accommodations: @hardrocktampa
Cake: @elisespieces22
Hair: @cheyanne_hair
Make up: @melissa_colletteartistry
Wedding dress: @stefanienaylor
Bridesmaids dresses: @mumuweddings
Catering: @cblundys
Music: @dj_juicy_one & @candi_theviolinist
Photo booth: @posyexchange
Neons: @novachrome_design_studio
10.21.21 🥀 “Introducing Mr, Mrs, and coming soon, Tiny Soto!” – @taylorchaus, my beautiful sister and wedding officiant.
Here are some more wedding pics ahead of the Siesta Key season finale tomorrow evening! I can’t emphasize enough how wonderful and dreamy this day was. @oroeventco really made everything absolutely perfect for me and Ish. All I said was I want an enchanted forest/secret garden vibe and with that @oroeventco and @tailoredtwig took all the stress off my hands and created a true fairytale!
Event planner: @oroeventco
Flowers: @tailoredtwig
Venue: @misionlagoestate
Rentals: @gabroeventservices
Photography: @paigestellutophoto
Videography: @onlywavetv
Accommodations: @hardrocktampa
Cake: @elisespieces22
Hair: @cheyanne_hair
Make up: @melissa_colletteartistry
Wedding dress: @stefanienaylor
Bridesmaids dresses: @mumuweddings
Catering: @cblundys
Music: @dj_juicy_one & @candi_theviolinist
Photo booth: @posyexchange
Neons: @novachrome_design_studio
10.21.21 🥀 “Introducing Mr, Mrs, and coming soon, Tiny Soto!” – @taylorchaus, my beautiful sister and wedding officiant.
Here are some more wedding pics ahead of the Siesta Key season finale tomorrow evening! I can’t emphasize enough how wonderful and dreamy this day was. @oroeventco really made everything absolutely perfect for me and Ish. All I said was I want an enchanted forest/secret garden vibe and with that @oroeventco and @tailoredtwig took all the stress off my hands and created a true fairytale!
Event planner: @oroeventco
Flowers: @tailoredtwig
Venue: @misionlagoestate
Rentals: @gabroeventservices
Photography: @paigestellutophoto
Videography: @onlywavetv
Accommodations: @hardrocktampa
Cake: @elisespieces22
Hair: @cheyanne_hair
Make up: @melissa_colletteartistry
Wedding dress: @stefanienaylor
Bridesmaids dresses: @mumuweddings
Catering: @cblundys
Music: @dj_juicy_one & @candi_theviolinist
Photo booth: @posyexchange
Neons: @novachrome_design_studio
10.21.21 🥀 “Introducing Mr, Mrs, and coming soon, Tiny Soto!” – @taylorchaus, my beautiful sister and wedding officiant.
Here are some more wedding pics ahead of the Siesta Key season finale tomorrow evening! I can’t emphasize enough how wonderful and dreamy this day was. @oroeventco really made everything absolutely perfect for me and Ish. All I said was I want an enchanted forest/secret garden vibe and with that @oroeventco and @tailoredtwig took all the stress off my hands and created a true fairytale!
Event planner: @oroeventco
Flowers: @tailoredtwig
Venue: @misionlagoestate
Rentals: @gabroeventservices
Photography: @paigestellutophoto
Videography: @onlywavetv
Accommodations: @hardrocktampa
Cake: @elisespieces22
Hair: @cheyanne_hair
Make up: @melissa_colletteartistry
Wedding dress: @stefanienaylor
Bridesmaids dresses: @mumuweddings
Catering: @cblundys
Music: @dj_juicy_one & @candi_theviolinist
Photo booth: @posyexchange
Neons: @novachrome_design_studio
10.21.21 🥀 “Introducing Mr, Mrs, and coming soon, Tiny Soto!” – @taylorchaus, my beautiful sister and wedding officiant.
Here are some more wedding pics ahead of the Siesta Key season finale tomorrow evening! I can’t emphasize enough how wonderful and dreamy this day was. @oroeventco really made everything absolutely perfect for me and Ish. All I said was I want an enchanted forest/secret garden vibe and with that @oroeventco and @tailoredtwig took all the stress off my hands and created a true fairytale!
Event planner: @oroeventco
Flowers: @tailoredtwig
Venue: @misionlagoestate
Rentals: @gabroeventservices
Photography: @paigestellutophoto
Videography: @onlywavetv
Accommodations: @hardrocktampa
Cake: @elisespieces22
Hair: @cheyanne_hair
Make up: @melissa_colletteartistry
Wedding dress: @stefanienaylor
Bridesmaids dresses: @mumuweddings
Catering: @cblundys
Music: @dj_juicy_one & @candi_theviolinist
Photo booth: @posyexchange
Neons: @novachrome_design_studio
10.21.21 🥀 “Introducing Mr, Mrs, and coming soon, Tiny Soto!” – @taylorchaus, my beautiful sister and wedding officiant.
Here are some more wedding pics ahead of the Siesta Key season finale tomorrow evening! I can’t emphasize enough how wonderful and dreamy this day was. @oroeventco really made everything absolutely perfect for me and Ish. All I said was I want an enchanted forest/secret garden vibe and with that @oroeventco and @tailoredtwig took all the stress off my hands and created a true fairytale!
Event planner: @oroeventco
Flowers: @tailoredtwig
Venue: @misionlagoestate
Rentals: @gabroeventservices
Photography: @paigestellutophoto
Videography: @onlywavetv
Accommodations: @hardrocktampa
Cake: @elisespieces22
Hair: @cheyanne_hair
Make up: @melissa_colletteartistry
Wedding dress: @stefanienaylor
Bridesmaids dresses: @mumuweddings
Catering: @cblundys
Music: @dj_juicy_one & @candi_theviolinist
Photo booth: @posyexchange
Neons: @novachrome_design_studio
10.21.21 🥀 “Introducing Mr, Mrs, and coming soon, Tiny Soto!” – @taylorchaus, my beautiful sister and wedding officiant.
Here are some more wedding pics ahead of the Siesta Key season finale tomorrow evening! I can’t emphasize enough how wonderful and dreamy this day was. @oroeventco really made everything absolutely perfect for me and Ish. All I said was I want an enchanted forest/secret garden vibe and with that @oroeventco and @tailoredtwig took all the stress off my hands and created a true fairytale!
Event planner: @oroeventco
Flowers: @tailoredtwig
Venue: @misionlagoestate
Rentals: @gabroeventservices
Photography: @paigestellutophoto
Videography: @onlywavetv
Accommodations: @hardrocktampa
Cake: @elisespieces22
Hair: @cheyanne_hair
Make up: @melissa_colletteartistry
Wedding dress: @stefanienaylor
Bridesmaids dresses: @mumuweddings
Catering: @cblundys
Music: @dj_juicy_one & @candi_theviolinist
Photo booth: @posyexchange
Neons: @novachrome_design_studio
Thank you @accesshollywood and @laurenaherbert for chatting with me about baby Elliot! 👼🏻 (To be clear, I can only speak from MY experience. Everyone’s baby loss journey is vastly different and should NEVER be compared. Be sure to check in with your friends and family who have experienced baby loss and act according to what is best for THEM.) 💕
And for those of you asking (thank you!!) Elliot had a full head of super curly, dirty blonde hair 😍
Mark my words—someday I will move to the Caribbean. 💛
PS you can never wear too much sunscreen!!🧴🙃
Mark my words—someday I will move to the Caribbean. 💛
PS you can never wear too much sunscreen!!🧴🙃
Mark my words—someday I will move to the Caribbean. 💛
PS you can never wear too much sunscreen!!🧴🙃
💕🌸💖💐💞
💕🌸💖💐💞
I 🧡 Nashville!
Shout out to @noelle_nashville for the best stay ever. This historical hotel is just beautiful, and the downtown views from the rooftop are unmatched. I can’t wait to go back. PS. Check out their speakeasy, @hiddenbarnashville, in the basement. They have the tastiest cocktails! 🤫
