Ethan Suplee

Ethan Suplee Instagram – I cannot comprehend the pain that those around us must feel. I think of physical pain and mental/emotional anguish as being separate, but there can be a physical debilitation borne out of that emotional turmoil, there can be physical pain because of that distress.
I spent so much time, alone in a bathroom. Harming myself as a way to cope with what existed outside those four safe walls.
I was convinced that what I did to myself was between me and myself alone. What I did to myself was nobody else’s business or concern. Despite the repeated attempts by friends and family alike to see me better, I was more comfortable alone in a bathroom.
I’ve recently watched a documentary on Nan Goldin called All the Beauty and the Bloodshed which delves heavily into her opioid addiction. At one point a grieving mother says that she was complicit in her son’s death, and that he died, “alone in a bathroom…”
I want to hug that mother and apologize, I wish I could apologize to my own mother, I have and will continue to apologize to my friends and family for the pain that I have caused.
I want to let them know that they were not complicit, their words and desires for me to get better, at that time, couldn’t reach me, I could not hear them.
But in the stark light of today, I can hear them, I can feel the pain that I caused, and I am sorry.
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If you are are struggling with addiction, talking about it can be the hardest first step you might ever take.
But I have found it much better than dying alone in a bathroom. | Posted on 02/Mar/2023 22:11:35