Once upon a time, the whole world was an impossibility. Conquering all of it is still impossible, so I’m just concentrating on today. If today becomes too much, I will focus on right now. Right now, I’m ok, I will beat right now.
Once upon a time, the whole world was an impossibility. Conquering all of it is still impossible, so I’m just concentrating on today. If today becomes too much, I will focus on right now. Right now, I’m ok, I will beat right now.
Happy birthday to my brother @paul_smenus! I love you very much Nicky ❤️ • (Sorry I’m a couple days tardy) • The tattoos in this picture are for a movie called God Is A Bullet, which will be in theaters in June.
I cannot comprehend the pain that those around us must feel. I think of physical pain and mental/emotional anguish as being separate, but there can be a physical debilitation borne out of that emotional turmoil, there can be physical pain because of that distress. I spent so much time, alone in a bathroom. Harming myself as a way to cope with what existed outside those four safe walls. I was convinced that what I did to myself was between me and myself alone. What I did to myself was nobody else’s business or concern. Despite the repeated attempts by friends and family alike to see me better, I was more comfortable alone in a bathroom. I’ve recently watched a documentary on Nan Goldin called All the Beauty and the Bloodshed which delves heavily into her opioid addiction. At one point a grieving mother says that she was complicit in her son’s death, and that he died, “alone in a bathroom…” I want to hug that mother and apologize, I wish I could apologize to my own mother, I have and will continue to apologize to my friends and family for the pain that I have caused. I want to let them know that they were not complicit, their words and desires for me to get better, at that time, couldn’t reach me, I could not hear them. But in the stark light of today, I can hear them, I can feel the pain that I caused, and I am sorry. • If you are are struggling with addiction, talking about it can be the hardest first step you might ever take. But I have found it much better than dying alone in a bathroom.
I cannot comprehend the pain that those around us must feel. I think of physical pain and mental/emotional anguish as being separate, but there can be a physical debilitation borne out of that emotional turmoil, there can be physical pain because of that distress. I spent so much time, alone in a bathroom. Harming myself as a way to cope with what existed outside those four safe walls. I was convinced that what I did to myself was between me and myself alone. What I did to myself was nobody else’s business or concern. Despite the repeated attempts by friends and family alike to see me better, I was more comfortable alone in a bathroom. I’ve recently watched a documentary on Nan Goldin called All the Beauty and the Bloodshed which delves heavily into her opioid addiction. At one point a grieving mother says that she was complicit in her son’s death, and that he died, “alone in a bathroom…” I want to hug that mother and apologize, I wish I could apologize to my own mother, I have and will continue to apologize to my friends and family for the pain that I have caused. I want to let them know that they were not complicit, their words and desires for me to get better, at that time, couldn’t reach me, I could not hear them. But in the stark light of today, I can hear them, I can feel the pain that I caused, and I am sorry. • If you are are struggling with addiction, talking about it can be the hardest first step you might ever take. But I have found it much better than dying alone in a bathroom.
My dear friend @thatkevinsmith sent me a couple pics with the text “look how far you’ve come!” • Hi e ain’t lying!
“In love, one and one are one.” – Sartre
New episode of @americangluttonpodcast with guest @patrickrenna is now available!
My old pal @meeno_the_man sent me this picture just now. It arrived on my phone as I was thinking about what joy I’ve experienced as a father. It has truly been the most meaningful part of my life.
Another Hump Day done. I killed my clone.
20,000 steps through Rome today with @sojustthinking. • Twice up the Spanish Steps because we each counted them differently. Initially she had 135, I had 134, and round two we were inverse (Wikipedia says 138, but what do they know).
I hope you’re having a glorious Sunday. • I am • I killed my clone
I hope you’re having a glorious Sunday. • I am • I killed my clone
I hope you’re having a glorious Sunday. • I am • I killed my clone
I hope you’re having a glorious Sunday. • I am • I killed my clone
Killed my clone
Saw my old friend @steveagee over the weekend and he took these nice photographs of me.
Saw my old friend @steveagee over the weekend and he took these nice photographs of me.
Hello Monday
New episode of @americangluttonpodcast with guest @gerarddgaf is now available! • Link in bio
New episode of @americangluttonpodcast with guest @realjessewolfe is now available!
This week on @americangluttonpodcast our guest is @tuco300! MMA, cutting weight, PRE-hydration, and MUCH more.
God Is A Bullet Nick Cassavetes (@paul_smenus) June, 2023 • 🎥 via @jonathanmtucker