Rain Dove Dubilewski Instagram – One thing I’ve found recently is that within conflict, I can be the same person- same body- same height- same tone- same mannerisms- same language. Yet, contingent upon the gender/identity someone believes me to be, those elements can yield drastically different reactions. Every person, every culture, and every circumstance is a bit unique. However there indeed are a few overarching themes for my personal experience which are mostly universal.
(1) When perceived as a “cis man” I often come across as naturally threatening in conflict. Even at a resting rate of tone. This leads to the other person feeling more comfortable to physically hit or lash out at me. But also I can evoke fear in a single step forward. I often feel guilty for that feeling. When a person intervenes, it’s often assumed that I started the conflict. It feels difficult to resolve situations as a result. Highly likely to be ejected.
(2) Trans man: People can talk over me or laugh. Sometimes I’ll be told to check my toxic masculinity and that as a “former woman” I should just be quiet when “real women” are talking. And I often oblige self consciously. Less likely to be ejected.
Trans Woman: A mix of reaction occurs. Often immediate escalation akin to being perceived as a cis male, some mockery or belittling akin to being perceived as cis female, and sometimes people just go flat silent. A literal buffering orb of social fear pops up on their head. Likely to be ejected from Venue unless i have vocal allies.
Cis Woman: Often the other person will give a laugh or comment that I look ugly as a defense. Or undatable. As a tall person, I’m still intimidating but am less likely to be hit (personally for me) and less likely to be ejected from a space. However, I’m far less likely to be heard or have my boundaries met. And often will be labeled as unstable after.
These are my personal experiences over my lifetime. They may be different from Your own! I just find it fascinating switching a bit of fabric can switch the entire way someone feels they need to handle a person- and changes their perception. I get why this is. But can it change? Should it?
#socialexperiment #lgbtqia #genderbend | Posted on 27/Mar/2023 23:49:44
