I wrote this long long caption about all the new birth certificate enforcement bathroom bills being proposed and then it got deleted when I posted somehow. So here I am. Reposting. And as I go to rewrite this thing I’ve written before I realize how redundant this battle really is. How bored I am of myself and this silly struggle that has resulted in serious consequence. Despite clear scientific studies en masse which prove restrooms are over 40% safer when they are all identity inclusive (mostly as a result of the impact of randomization of possible user entrants). Is it that hard? Mixed restrooms with a few private stalls with floor to ceiling doors that have a child changing fold out, are disability accessible, and lit well enough for people to use said mirrors for ritualistic needs such as adjusting hijabs during breaks. The issue isn’t the “gender”- it’s the violence of individuals who should be held more individually accountable. We can do that through clearer and more effective laws, preventive mandatory education about keeping hands to our own diddles, and utilizing modern tech options for maximum safety & response. I mean- it’s fair to be cautious in the restroom. Our butts and niblets ARE exposed. 😂😩 We also need to teach people that people with “f” on their birth certificates can be tall, muscular, short hair, etc. If You are going to call me a “girl” because of my birth certificate, then sweetie darling, this is what a pretty girl looks like. This face. These shoulders. Those brows. That suit. These muscles. This is my personal experience, I don’t want to speak for You. What has been Your experience with gender inclusive restrooms? Is there any reason You believe we absolutely NEED divided restrooms? Are there additional things You believe we should add to create safer spaces? All voices welcome. No matter how “silly” or controversial You believe Your opinion to be. Ps: How are You today? All answers welcome none too burdensome. None too joyful. All valid! I’ll respond to as many as possible for the first 24 hours. #wesanderson #lgbtqia #whatdoyoumean #genderqueer #funnyvideo #storytime thanks @quartermistress for whacking me!
Many #lgbtqia people are actively fighting in Ukraine’s military protecting the nation. Many also left because Ukraine ranks 39th out of 49 European countries for LGBTQPIA rights according to @ilgaeurope . Some also left because they are conscientious objectors or have family members to take care of that couldn’t travel alone. Some progress is on the horizon with talks about marriage equality now on the table as a result of LGBTQ people contributing to the fight for Ukraine’s liberation. To send some financial support to Dima, please reach out to him here @dmtry_shh . All abusive accounts will be reported and likely frozen. To do great work from even the comfort of Your bathroom that supports Ukrainians, we need some additional volunteers for @safebow_org our evacuation organization. Just head over to the page and sign up. It’s easy and rewarding! The team will ensure that no matter who You are and what Your experience level is- there is a place for You. #goodnews #storytime #gaymen #transpride #reunited #catsofinstagram #positivestory #berlincity
You never know who’s paying attention, who trying and who can change. Good news is all around us, despite what the headlines say. For instance, after doing the social experiment where I questioned gender specific salons about their pricing justification- @trevorsorbie was watching. They had a salon nearby and first reached out to say that they enjoyed the video. Then they followed up with a reflection that their salon had originally started with gender neutral prices, but as it expanded into a chain- the pricing became gendered in the new salons. They knew it would be challenging and take some training possible explanation to customers, however they were willing to take a risk and change all salons to gender neutral pricing. To help them, I called up my friends @thedresscodeproject to give guidance on how to do this shift without losing customers etc. Then to launch, Trevor Sorbie asked if I could be their first model for it! There was a small learning curve with gender neutral language etc, but everyone handled it well! We put it all together and put to the world- and the result? Trevor Sorbie is in for one of their best performing quarters in a long while. Their client base is still strong. And @britishbeautycouncil @creativeheadmag even showcased their shift. The biggest excuse for salons is that they have been doing things the same way for too long to change. But anyone can change at any time! Don’t let time be the reason against doing the right thing. Gender neutral pricing is good for everyone. Opens up the client potential, doesn’t lead to gender based theft, and creates safer spaces for lgbtq folx and others to get the haircut they want… not the one they feel pressured to have. Tell me a hair salon that charges gender specific prices! I would lovingly like to send help their way to change to a gender neutral pricing model that will keep them in business, while discontinuing the discrimination set against their customers. CREATIVE DIRECTION: @giuseppebstelitano HAIR: @tizidima PHOTOGRAPHY: @austnfischer MAKE UP: @miriamspanumakeup STYLING: @francescakoof #genderfluid #hairtransformation #positivenews #lgbtq #lgbtqia #trevorsorbie
This is @mothernaturesmountain my mother. A lot of people say they find it peculiar that I call her “mother” as I prefer speaking in neutral language entirely. However, when things healed and grew between us, we made a promise. She would call me her “child” or by name to respect my neutrality. And I would call her my mother (she/her) to respect her as well. We’ve grown a lot since that pact and continue to do so- she’s a really amazing being who lives a very incredible lifestyle. For those who wonder, yes. This is very much the way I grew up (different location though). Books and birds were my television and manual labor was a part of the daily routine. Something You just did, and felt within the vibration of Your instincts. A lot of the values I hold today stem from this upbringing. Satiation with simplicity. Enjoyment of a days work. Love for existence as a center. To outsiders, seeing my 7 year old self carry a 50lb bag of grain or muck out a stall for the weekend- it may seem horrific. But for me, I have a lot of good memories of pride in every drop of sweat. And the magic of retiring to evenings of fireflies, singing frogs and meals made mostly with foraged ingredients. Throughout my career in the world of entertainment and fashion- there’s been intense ups and downs. However, with any body slam- in the depths of darkness- I’ve had the knowledge that I could survive wherever a forest may be found with nothing more than willpower and observation. If everything was lost, I knew how to make a fire from earth and clean water with its dead embers. I knew I could find joy with bare feet in the dirt and the sound of the wind through the leaves. And when no forest can be found, simply laying on my stomach in the grass looking for four leaf clovers or watching ants work with each other- is delightful. I still have many struggles. And life will bring more to come. And I may not have all things figured out. But I have that. Thanks mom. #offgrid #lgbtqia #cottagecore #housetour #vermontlife #vintagestyle #catsofinstagram
It’s been a tough time for @artemis.awakening – and divorce can be really difficult. Especially when we have to fight so hard to be allowed to love at all. They were feeling really down after so I was hoping y’all could help show just how much family they have out here? Just comment below a kind word or a hello or a “You are loved Artemis” would mean so much. This being is a whole hearted, very talented photographer. They show up for the community and give so much. Very quiet in person, yet when they speak every sentence could move a mountain. It’s hard to trust in our ability to love after the “I love You” said so earnestly to another becomes a memory which holds different meaning. It causes us to sometimes wonder, how do I say those words to another person again with such certainty as before if it indeed may not be something that rings true to infinity. However, love is not a linear timeline. What was once true can both remain true but also remain in the past. Just because it is not the same now doesn’t mean it was a lie. It’s worth it to love again, perhaps a bit of hesitation is fair, but do not lock Yourself away from the possibility of falling again. You are the love. Your existence is the love. Your boundaries are Your love. Your hope is Your love. Your truths and survivals are Your love. Your breath is Your love. You are not broken. You are love transformed. Love shifted. And love enough. #haveyouever #thingstodo #lgbtqia #fairycore
What’s the genderless/all gender doll name they’d give to a Ken/Barbie hybrid? Or are they all genderless? I love that Barbie and Ken just have universal smooth bumps under their pants and yet are both very clear on their identity and pronoun choice. The world of Barbie was one I avoided growing up, yet felt compared to. I didn’t see myself or my closest friends represented by this very popular culture icon and didn’t give it a chance as a result. In fact, I was angry at it. Especially for how it culturally set a tone that fat bodies weren’t desired and that there were only two options of identity. Boy. Girl. At McDonalds as a kid, on the rare opportunity that I went, they offered Barbie or Hot Wheels. I chose Hot Wheels every time. I didn’t need some piece of plastic reminding me that I wasn’t “ideal” by society. However, over the past few years I got reintroduced to the world of Barbie. And while it has a lot of work to do, I have to say that I had missed all of the hard work the employees put into expanding out Barbies message world of friends to make it more inclusive. Conversations about body types, functioning, learning new things about new people- some of them were really high level things we all needed to hear. What I took away from that was a reminder that people can change. And those people will change businesses. Politics. Schools. And communities. If we continue to share our stories and stick together- uplift messages of what we need- You be surprised at just how many others will expand as well. #genderless #barbiethemovie #ken #lgbtqia #whatdoyouthink
I AM old school. My identity is ancient. I am I. It doesn’t get any simpler than that. One of the oldest recorded philosophies in humanity. It’s a wild world and You aren’t alone in class. I understand it may be exhausting to learn new language or pronouns. When someone invents language for themselves- that can take a second to get into the rhythm of as well. But brave soul- just know that Your journey will not go without love. Throughout history it has always been recorded that one generation is often befuddled or exhausted or frustrated by the next/former. This is the natural cycle of evolution and cultural shift. But it doesn’t mean we need to be bitter or feel as if we are better. Let every being be. Try our best to see people as individuals instead of overarching ideas. And if You are ever feeling like it’s too much… find Your family here. People with neopronouns or new sounds: we love You. It’s brave to create the uncreated or to live outside enforced expectation. You’re not broken- you’re expanding! People who are trying their best to learn but are lagging: we are grateful for the gravel of the grit to try. Keep it up! It’s hard sometimes. But Your effort is not without witness or reward of closeness. People who feel they haven’t arrived yet and are still journeying: We respect You and know that You are still whole as the You You are. People who are just trying to be People: You are loved. You are loved. You are loved. What’s one thing You “rebelled” against growing up? #lovewins #reactionvideos #genderfluid #reelsvideo #foryoupage #lgbtqpia #lgbtqia #whatdoyouthink
It’s never ceases to amaze me how complicated such a simple concept is. How dangerous. How upsetting. To say simply “I am I” with no follow up or specifics of label. No pronouns. There is a feeling of being threatened. As if I’ve betrayed an entire collective of people for saying “Refer to me by the sound I have chosen for myself, Rain. Refer to me as my actions, expressions and intentions. Refer to me as Your personal experience with me.” Often, they insist I MUST have a pronoun. I MUST have an idea adhered to my name that can be referred to in its place so that I am a collective idea/energy. So that I am a familiar pattern of speech. But I refuse. Call me as You wish, I do not bark at those who chose a familiar pronoun and run with it. I will not spite You or correct You as it’s not personally offensive to me. I understand the addiction to familiarity and tradition. However, I will always feel a little closer, more trusting, and more connected to those who those who try to use only my name. Because it means, one cares . And regardless of care, I will reciprocate that respect to You too. Our keys to freedom are interlocked within each other. We can choose to provide it or choose to cage those around us. But know this. No matter what one says or does to try to shackle me to a “sound”, they will never successfully splinter the truth of who I am. Because it is indeed the simplest form of the truth. I am I. (These images were by @trevorsorbie who decided to rid gendered pricing from their salons. They took a “risk” that paid out successfully. In doing so they also freed their customers from sexpectations.) Photog: @austnfischer Creative Director : @giuseppebstelitano Hair: @tizidima MUA: @miriamspanumakeup Styling: @francescakoof
It’s never ceases to amaze me how complicated such a simple concept is. How dangerous. How upsetting. To say simply “I am I” with no follow up or specifics of label. No pronouns. There is a feeling of being threatened. As if I’ve betrayed an entire collective of people for saying “Refer to me by the sound I have chosen for myself, Rain. Refer to me as my actions, expressions and intentions. Refer to me as Your personal experience with me.” Often, they insist I MUST have a pronoun. I MUST have an idea adhered to my name that can be referred to in its place so that I am a collective idea/energy. So that I am a familiar pattern of speech. But I refuse. Call me as You wish, I do not bark at those who chose a familiar pronoun and run with it. I will not spite You or correct You as it’s not personally offensive to me. I understand the addiction to familiarity and tradition. However, I will always feel a little closer, more trusting, and more connected to those who those who try to use only my name. Because it means, one cares . And regardless of care, I will reciprocate that respect to You too. Our keys to freedom are interlocked within each other. We can choose to provide it or choose to cage those around us. But know this. No matter what one says or does to try to shackle me to a “sound”, they will never successfully splinter the truth of who I am. Because it is indeed the simplest form of the truth. I am I. (These images were by @trevorsorbie who decided to rid gendered pricing from their salons. They took a “risk” that paid out successfully. In doing so they also freed their customers from sexpectations.) Photog: @austnfischer Creative Director : @giuseppebstelitano Hair: @tizidima MUA: @miriamspanumakeup Styling: @francescakoof
It’s never ceases to amaze me how complicated such a simple concept is. How dangerous. How upsetting. To say simply “I am I” with no follow up or specifics of label. No pronouns. There is a feeling of being threatened. As if I’ve betrayed an entire collective of people for saying “Refer to me by the sound I have chosen for myself, Rain. Refer to me as my actions, expressions and intentions. Refer to me as Your personal experience with me.” Often, they insist I MUST have a pronoun. I MUST have an idea adhered to my name that can be referred to in its place so that I am a collective idea/energy. So that I am a familiar pattern of speech. But I refuse. Call me as You wish, I do not bark at those who chose a familiar pronoun and run with it. I will not spite You or correct You as it’s not personally offensive to me. I understand the addiction to familiarity and tradition. However, I will always feel a little closer, more trusting, and more connected to those who those who try to use only my name. Because it means, one cares . And regardless of care, I will reciprocate that respect to You too. Our keys to freedom are interlocked within each other. We can choose to provide it or choose to cage those around us. But know this. No matter what one says or does to try to shackle me to a “sound”, they will never successfully splinter the truth of who I am. Because it is indeed the simplest form of the truth. I am I. (These images were by @trevorsorbie who decided to rid gendered pricing from their salons. They took a “risk” that paid out successfully. In doing so they also freed their customers from sexpectations.) Photog: @austnfischer Creative Director : @giuseppebstelitano Hair: @tizidima MUA: @miriamspanumakeup Styling: @francescakoof
It’s never ceases to amaze me how complicated such a simple concept is. How dangerous. How upsetting. To say simply “I am I” with no follow up or specifics of label. No pronouns. There is a feeling of being threatened. As if I’ve betrayed an entire collective of people for saying “Refer to me by the sound I have chosen for myself, Rain. Refer to me as my actions, expressions and intentions. Refer to me as Your personal experience with me.” Often, they insist I MUST have a pronoun. I MUST have an idea adhered to my name that can be referred to in its place so that I am a collective idea/energy. So that I am a familiar pattern of speech. But I refuse. Call me as You wish, I do not bark at those who chose a familiar pronoun and run with it. I will not spite You or correct You as it’s not personally offensive to me. I understand the addiction to familiarity and tradition. However, I will always feel a little closer, more trusting, and more connected to those who those who try to use only my name. Because it means, one cares . And regardless of care, I will reciprocate that respect to You too. Our keys to freedom are interlocked within each other. We can choose to provide it or choose to cage those around us. But know this. No matter what one says or does to try to shackle me to a “sound”, they will never successfully splinter the truth of who I am. Because it is indeed the simplest form of the truth. I am I. (These images were by @trevorsorbie who decided to rid gendered pricing from their salons. They took a “risk” that paid out successfully. In doing so they also freed their customers from sexpectations.) Photog: @austnfischer Creative Director : @giuseppebstelitano Hair: @tizidima MUA: @miriamspanumakeup Styling: @francescakoof
I hadn’t posted on IG in a while because I’d been struggling emotionally. Not typically a New Years Resolution person, however this year mine was to choose to exist everyday of 2023. Really proud to say I’m still here and working through it. ❤️ Lost a lot this year, risked a lot this year, and experienced a lot of hard knocks. From loss of loved ones via cancer to war to love- I thought I was good at compartmentalizing things that didn’t turn out well. It was a superpower I had obtained from living on the streets and moving about so much. Turns out, when I finally had a moment to sit still something happened that I wasn’t expecting. In the situation of survival which requires fight, flight, or freeze- I tend to friend. When You don’t feel good- do good. But I found myself in the peculiar situation where I didn’t DO at all. I froze. FREEZE. See- I had kept myself busy busy busy working on any causes and issues but my own. I became an excellent coach and horrible player. Poured my soul into the souls of others and found value in providing value. When value should’ve already been felt regardless. Able to navigate others through chaos and unable to even breathe in the direction of my own. A lot of hard lessons were learned. A lot of growth I felt unprepared for was suddenly demanded. So. I froze. Pause. Process. The flood that occurred of all the tears uncried and all the personal needs neglected suffocated and seemed impossible to gasp through. The grief and grit. Every single day of 2023 has been a choice I made to be here. Here I am. After a 30 day detox from the mainfeed, I’m now ready to return with 12 new pieces of content created with the incredible @sareh.ovey – an Iranian refugee who was forced to flee Iran after photographing some clients without their hijabs. Massively talented human, Sareh now lives in Turkey and is working to resettle life. If anyone likes Sareh’s work and is interested in a Collab, Sareh can shoot, edit, and do all the design for photos videos. A goal this year is to get Sareh an opp to shoot with @milanfashionweek – as they have pledged towards integrating global change initiatives. #LGBTQIA #activism #lovewins #stillhere
Anyone else feel like a character who hasn’t quite been written yet? Let’s get writers, directors and producers thinking beyond the basics. What’s a character type You wish You could see on the screen that hadn’t been highlighted before. (Or enough)? Do You feel like there’s any character out there that really has captured an adjacency to who You are? To be fair I never felt represented on screen. I can’t think of a single character that I really felt in alignment with. It’s kind of lonely sometimes but also oddly affirming to be unknown. Responding to the first 200 comments to check in and connect. Love You very much family beings. #wednesday #lgbtqia #transition #transitionreels #wtfisthis #genderreveal #dialogue
One thing I’ve found recently is that within conflict, I can be the same person- same body- same height- same tone- same mannerisms- same language. Yet, contingent upon the gender/identity someone believes me to be, those elements can yield drastically different reactions. Every person, every culture, and every circumstance is a bit unique. However there indeed are a few overarching themes for my personal experience which are mostly universal. (1) When perceived as a “cis man” I often come across as naturally threatening in conflict. Even at a resting rate of tone. This leads to the other person feeling more comfortable to physically hit or lash out at me. But also I can evoke fear in a single step forward. I often feel guilty for that feeling. When a person intervenes, it’s often assumed that I started the conflict. It feels difficult to resolve situations as a result. Highly likely to be ejected. (2) Trans man: People can talk over me or laugh. Sometimes I’ll be told to check my toxic masculinity and that as a “former woman” I should just be quiet when “real women” are talking. And I often oblige self consciously. Less likely to be ejected. Trans Woman: A mix of reaction occurs. Often immediate escalation akin to being perceived as a cis male, some mockery or belittling akin to being perceived as cis female, and sometimes people just go flat silent. A literal buffering orb of social fear pops up on their head. Likely to be ejected from Venue unless i have vocal allies. Cis Woman: Often the other person will give a laugh or comment that I look ugly as a defense. Or undatable. As a tall person, I’m still intimidating but am less likely to be hit (personally for me) and less likely to be ejected from a space. However, I’m far less likely to be heard or have my boundaries met. And often will be labeled as unstable after. These are my personal experiences over my lifetime. They may be different from Your own! I just find it fascinating switching a bit of fabric can switch the entire way someone feels they need to handle a person- and changes their perception. I get why this is. But can it change? Should it? #socialexperiment #lgbtqia #genderbend
One doesn’t need a name to be a being who is allowed to exist. Connect. Create. However, if a name is going to be a part of one’s existence- then that name should be a reflection of the most personal understanding and summation of Yourself. It should be Your choice and truth. Perhaps Your truth is a continuation of the history of a sound You we’re given at birth. An honor to Your past or blood family. Perhaps Your name is a knowledge of where You are now and where You want to be then. Or perhaps- Your name is something You want to showcase Your personality through poetry or musical intonation.Whatever Yo ur name means to You- it is Your own. Know Your name to be Your own. Type Your name (the one You know Yourself to be) here and I will write it back to You as a response. Up to 500 names minimum I’ll repeat back as a mantra of commitment to respecting who You are. Do not be shy- this is for anyone no matter their identity. A name is a symbol of reciprocated understanding. You deserve to know You are experienced and safe. Bonus points if You want to share why You feel Your name is the name for You. #knowyourname #peptalk #parentlife #lgbtqia #genderfluid #lovewins #iami #trythis
Did I miss anything? A lot of folx are going into “freeze” mode. It’s an odd time period where we have access to the world and each other. Which is wonderful! But that also means we have access to knowledge of each other’s suffering and struggles- just as much as each other’s joy. As a person who’s seen much of this planet and the life of its inhabitants, I know it’s overwhelming. There are hundreds of causes which are life or death and NEED YOU RIGHT NOW. Violence, displacement, erasure, dehumanization, environmental destruction, war, art, exhaustion- it’s never ending. And it feels cruel or wrong to turn away once we know a cause exists. To say “I’m at capacity. I can give no more.” So many are now turning away from doing anything at all. They’ve tried showing up full steam for all projects- and all people. But it never felt enough. It almost never felt real. I’ve always said, allyship isn’t heroism. It’s humanism. It’s what we owe to each other as a basis for compassionate existence. It’s ego at the door, learning, listening and expanding. It’s not rescuing people, it’s elevating each other to exist in a safer more just world. Consistent progress is consistent possibility. Burnout is real. Free time is a privilege but freedom is a right. If You fight for anything at all, let it be the freedom for others to exist without fear of loss of food, shelter, water, physical safety and movement. It’s never going to be enough to solve all the worlds obstacles if You take it on alone. But as a collective of actions we ARE enough together. I don’t know who needs to know this, but YOU are enough. You operating within Your honest capacity is enough. You committing to try to expand a bit further every day is enough. You not silencing the voices of those telling the world what they need to feel safer is enough. You existing is enough. Activism isn’t about guilt. It’s about goals. We want You to take care of Yourself. We want You to experience joy in this life. We want You to save space for Yourself. And as a kind heart in this world, YOU deserve to have allies too. You deserve to have stability too. Joy too. Security too. #lgbtqia #whattodo #trythis #storytime
Oftentimes We work so hard to exist as Ourselves that if anything shifts or changes over time We can be terrified of embracing that change. I find this especially within identity, gender and sexuality that often it’s not embraced for a being to be able to pivot. It’s as if there is a betrayal of a community. Or there may be a disenfranchisement of identity because if someone changes their mind once on something so big then They will “likely do it again”. Mocked. Untrusted. Even feared. There is a desperate demand from family, friends or the world in general for people to remain a singular label once They “arrive to it”. However, Our existence in the world is flowing. Our knowledge of what We want for Ourselves often expands. We learn new things about the way We love or feel loved or lovable. We experience new possibilities and people. Sometimes, the language We use for our existence and identity is and always will remain what was given to Us by others at birth. This is very valid and if it is the singular truth of someone then that is wonderful and should be respected. At other times, when there are those who find Their descriptors are deviating from what They were before- They need to know simple things along that journey. They too are valid. They aren’t broken. That every second is arrival and We don’t need “one destination” in life. That language and labels one chooses for Themselves are indeed a choice. They can be trialed. Rejected. Reinvented. Or invented for the first time. And should something shift it doesn’t mean that all along You were “wrong”- and that You may be “wrong” again. It means that You were as You were with what You knew and that was valid when it was Your truth. And Truth can change without it’s past becoming a lie. For some as well- the arrival to the identity They now use is proof that They are finally as They have always been. But had been told They were not. Whatever Your journey is- it is YOURS. Your truth. Your language. Your adventure. And We are here to support You by loving the You that You are. Can You accept others if they change their identity descriptors? #storytime #questiontime #lgbtqia #foryoupage #genderqueer
You deserve more affirmations- it’s exhausting in the world right now. For many, seemingly impossible to take the pressure or difficult environments which create such emotions of defeat and turn it into something positive. Worth waking to and for. Personally, I’ve found myself quite spread thin between all the fires and attacks lately. It feels like one must be everywhere all at once to fight against the oppression- and yet there are few places where it’s safe to go. To make it through, we have to truly believe that hope will turn to reality. And I believe- I truly do- that it has before, it can again, we will find a way forward. But it must be together. If You are having a hard time feeling self affirmational, come here to this page. Most of the people here will be happy to say Your name, pronouns, or validate You and Your experience. Hold tight. It’ll be worth it. This video is from this afternoon enjoying this wildly talented friend @dededavi – they’re pursuing a music career and could use all the community support possible. If You like their voice go follow their IG please it really makes a difference. Say Your name and pronouns- I’ll say them back in the comments. I’ll answer a minimum of 250 over the weekend- more if possible. All people welcome to comment- no matter who You are. #ally #lgbtqia #trans #lovewins #newmusic #goodnews
It took a while to get out of the rut I was in because I didn’t know if it was ok to share how I was feeling with people that weren’t paid professionals. Which meant my friends and family were arms length isolated from supporting me through my experiences. I thought I was protecting them from my pain hut in reality I was stealing the opportunity of choice from them. Since I felt that I had been in this space for a while, and it wasn’t an instant fix, I kept it to myself. What was the use of upsetting others with something they couldn’t solve? I mean… what a bummer I was whenever I shared my feelings. Who really wants to be a constant bummer? No. Not me. Positive vibes only. Cheerleader only. Indignant for the justice for others’ causes only. Turns out that love is circular and it must be circular. You will be surprised at the value and empowerment You provide others by allowing them to support You through the tough times in life. Even if those tough times seem perpetual. The key is allowing friends and family to set boundaries that You respect. If they say they are at capacity, thank them for sharing their truth. Celebrate it. It will empower them to be healthier in their own lives. If they want to show up, celebrate their love. Celebrate their wisdom. Allow them to turn former lessons of pain into power. Therapy by professionals is important. If You are able to access it please do. It can be truly revolutionary. But at the very least, don’t do what I’ve done in the past- which is to push the people closest to the furthest spaces away from Your conflicts. You aren’t taking when You lean on them. You are giving them an opportunity to grow, give and gain as well. Are You someone who is ok with being leaned on and setting boundaries when at capacity? Let people know in the comments. It’s important that others witness that there are far more support options than it might appear at first sight. #positivenews #goodnews #lovewins #lgbtqia #mentalhealth #foryou #takeachance
Self regulation and self care are often an eclipse of each other. Emotions and energies are valid to experience and feel. Sometimes when they are very present at the moment we wake though, they can shape our entire day if they aren’t dealt with. They consume us and everyone we are around and can cause us to miss the good as well as the little opportunities that life may bring us that day. While there’s much in life we can not control, one thing we can try to do is set a #moaningroutine or morning ritual. Whether it’s waking 5 minutes earlier just to lay in the mid space of sleep/rise to meditate. Or using morning shower time to release some tension with the #womanizerwave 😉🌧 Or even doing a full body shake to brush it off- it’s important that we do our best to release our fear, frustration and frumbygrumbly even if they are based on real valid things we are dealing with. Acknowledge the energy emotion. Acknowledge the environment. Breathe. Release. Cleanse and create hope. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Some things are going to change, some are not. But how we treat ourselves should consistently be rooted in hope, love, patience and chance. What’s Your way of shifting Your center from the start of the day? Lets get a list going so anyone just deciding to create a ritual today can have a resource here to use. Thanks @womanizerglobal for the great addition to my day. For anyone interested, The “Womanizer Wave” is the first showerhead designed for both showering AND pleasure, making your mornings all that extra relaxing. It’s a very cool creation and it works really well 😉
For all of You beings trying, You ARE transforming. It takes time, effort, vulnerability, trust and bravery to truly take flight. It may not be enough to be loved by stranger no matter how You have been, what You have done, what You are overcoming. But You have a clean slate here. You have a reset here. It’s ok to be on the process and not feeling fully arrived. It may take time to work through Your mind, the learning, the leaving, the growth, the ego, and the lessons which state we will never be better than what we were as children. However, every single second of effort is bringing You to something extraordinary. Often we don’t applaud people until they “make the full transformation”. Reveal content of before and after often erases the most difficult truths of one’s journey. However, a journey is not before and after. It instead is a series of was and is and want. Was and Is and Want. The Want informing the Is. The Is escaping the Was. Was accepting the fact that it indeed is WAS and no longer IS. As a result, no amount of motivational speech or talk can get Us to shake ourselves free sometimes. It is only ourselves which can do it. And when we don’t trust that Ourselves are not just a series of Was but also a series of Is and Wants then without that trust we freeze our minds into a single space of time. Trapped for what feels like an inevitable eternity. Truth is that it is not an eternity. We are cocooning. Changing every day but to the naked eye, remaining still. Yet we are not. Even when we feel we are not trying to shift, we shift. That is the power of time. I’m dedicating my day to You. If You type “I’m trying” below- I will respond “You are.” Because You deserve to be affirmed. I’ll answer every comment for the first 24 hours. PS I’m pretty sure the moths name was Lenny. #positiveaffirmations #naturereels #lgbtqia #whatdoyouthink #goodnews #transformationjourney
Why do You think this turned out the way it did? I’m a person who is perceived as all genders and non at times. Sometimes, it can be more advantageous to be perceived as one identity over the other because of bias or culture. Even though I wear what I want and face what I face every day, I decided to do a series of experiments to illustrate how my one life can have drastically different realities simply just from what I wear! “Menswear” and “womenswear” aren’t really necessary labels in my personal opinion. Nor do they make have to anyone a particular thing when You wear them. However, they DO change how people treat and identify me. Just my personal experience. Yours may be different. For this experiment, I conducted it over several days and asked over 500 people in either outfit to contact a friend with their cellphone. This was done in Central London, Dalston, and Kilburn. The results were clear. 3x more likely to get help in “menswear”. Along with longer reasonings for rejections. Yet over 90% of detected street scammers in London identify as men. When I did a poll about my outfits, 86% of 500 random people thought I was a cis man in “menswear”. While 61% of people thought I was a trans woman in “womenswear” and 32% a cis woman. With 7% saying I was a cis man. Why was this experiment done? Well a phone is often an essential tool for folx to get home with. Money, communication and more are on it! There are many times my phone has died and I needed help but saw that simply removing my jacket could change my ability to get it respectfully. For me personally, I want to be able to get help equally presented. However it’s useful to understand biases as well so we can confront them and dive through them. Do You think Youd get a different result? Why so? *also note: anyone who rejected helping me is valid (except the swearing human lol). It’s ok to say no and there are many reasons one might choose to. #socialexperiment #lgbtqia #genderfluid #transpride #questioning
Do You relate to this? I’ve never really been built for small talk. I find it unnecessary and boring. I’d prefer sitting in silence to saying things that are of little memory or depth. In the world of dating- especially in person- this has led to some very awkward moments! Some may say I’m a bit intense- some may say that they are happy to dive into the deep water of dialogue instead of skirting around intention. All I know is that I’m looking for the You that is truly You… not the chatbot call and response version of You. In the past I only felt that this depth could be discovered in person. However, I’ve recently witnessed that dating online is a way to safely save people time and energy. To express intentions and dive deep with few consequences. To test the waters without much pressure- and to be beyond even the spoken part of understanding. Memes, games, music- so many ways to connect deeper without the dreaded small talk. Or even having to talk at all. For a safe space to explore and exist beyond the binary or beyond language- check out @thepureapp . A lot of friends are having a great time on there and You dont even have to be looking for romance to find community to connect to. What’s the most forward question You’ve ever asked on a first date? #PureApp #LGBTQPIA #LoveWins
If You or a friend say “sorry” as a habit- when an apology isn’t needed- then it’s ok! It’s a normal human cultural conditioning that occurs. But studies show- cultural continuous apologies can contribute to lower self esteem and confidence. It can also lead to confusion and power imbalance- as well as social weaponizing and gaslighting. Language is just a completely made up thing, however the consequences can still be effective of the sounds and words we share. There’s nothing inferior or superior to shifting “sorry” to “thank You”- and whatever You choose to be right for You is. However if You are up to test how it feels- get a friend or family member to gently support You so that whenever You accidentally say “sorry” they remind You to say “thank You”. Eventually a habit will form with practice and it’s likely that You will experience a new type of engagement with people around You. Examples: “Sorry I’m late” < “Thanks for Your patience. Happy to be here!” “Sorry for being emotional” < “Thanks for listening- let me know if You are at capacity” “Sorry for asking” < “Thanks for Your help!” It may seem hippie dippie. But I didn’t come up with this concept. Others have taught it before and it’s a lesson that has survived time because it does seem to work. Find the good in Yourself. In Others. In the world. Trust as many of those around You to set their own boundaries and to be good at the heart. At times You will be disappointed. At times people may be mean or rude in response. However, the positivity You will bring into peoples’ lives with gratitude fiest language will far outweigh the outlier or angst You may experience time to time. Anyone else tried this before? What was Your experience? Who would You choose to be Your language accountability buddy? #trythis #somethingnew #lgbtqia #parenting #languagelearning #fyp #howto
