James Alexander, 8 Jan 1978 – 28 April 2023 To say my heart is broken would not do justice to the 22 years we spent together. This year I’ve crossed a rubicon: I’ve spent more of my life with you, than without. I can not imagine having to do life without you by my side. You were my first love, my best friend, my work-buddy, travel-buddy, there’s-something-in-your-teeth-buddy. The first person to break my heart and then mend it again. The only person to witness me, all of me: the good, the bad, the pajamas….You were magic, a unicorn, and everybody knew it. You loved people and they loved you. And oh, how you made us laugh! You haven’t just fought a good fight, my baby, you fought the best fight. I have never witnessed anybody endure the amount of physical pain and losses and disappointments you have had to over the last 5 years and do it with such grace and integrity, whilst all the time fiercely believing and surrendering to God’s plan. You finished the race well, the suffering is over. Now Rest In Peace, my Jamie. Cancer might have won the battle for your body, but your soul was never beaten. I will always love you xxx (James was diagnosed with head an neck cancer in Jan 2019. It was his wish to keep his fight private until he was ready to share it. He was unfortunately not granted that opportunity, but his legacy will live on, as one does not go through the fire unchanged.)
James Alexander, 8 Jan 1978 – 28 April 2023 To say my heart is broken would not do justice to the 22 years we spent together. This year I’ve crossed a rubicon: I’ve spent more of my life with you, than without. I can not imagine having to do life without you by my side. You were my first love, my best friend, my work-buddy, travel-buddy, there’s-something-in-your-teeth-buddy. The first person to break my heart and then mend it again. The only person to witness me, all of me: the good, the bad, the pajamas….You were magic, a unicorn, and everybody knew it. You loved people and they loved you. And oh, how you made us laugh! You haven’t just fought a good fight, my baby, you fought the best fight. I have never witnessed anybody endure the amount of physical pain and losses and disappointments you have had to over the last 5 years and do it with such grace and integrity, whilst all the time fiercely believing and surrendering to God’s plan. You finished the race well, the suffering is over. Now Rest In Peace, my Jamie. Cancer might have won the battle for your body, but your soul was never beaten. I will always love you xxx (James was diagnosed with head an neck cancer in Jan 2019. It was his wish to keep his fight private until he was ready to share it. He was unfortunately not granted that opportunity, but his legacy will live on, as one does not go through the fire unchanged.)
James Alexander, 8 Jan 1978 – 28 April 2023 To say my heart is broken would not do justice to the 22 years we spent together. This year I’ve crossed a rubicon: I’ve spent more of my life with you, than without. I can not imagine having to do life without you by my side. You were my first love, my best friend, my work-buddy, travel-buddy, there’s-something-in-your-teeth-buddy. The first person to break my heart and then mend it again. The only person to witness me, all of me: the good, the bad, the pajamas….You were magic, a unicorn, and everybody knew it. You loved people and they loved you. And oh, how you made us laugh! You haven’t just fought a good fight, my baby, you fought the best fight. I have never witnessed anybody endure the amount of physical pain and losses and disappointments you have had to over the last 5 years and do it with such grace and integrity, whilst all the time fiercely believing and surrendering to God’s plan. You finished the race well, the suffering is over. Now Rest In Peace, my Jamie. Cancer might have won the battle for your body, but your soul was never beaten. I will always love you xxx (James was diagnosed with head an neck cancer in Jan 2019. It was his wish to keep his fight private until he was ready to share it. He was unfortunately not granted that opportunity, but his legacy will live on, as one does not go through the fire unchanged.)
James Alexander, 8 Jan 1978 – 28 April 2023 To say my heart is broken would not do justice to the 22 years we spent together. This year I’ve crossed a rubicon: I’ve spent more of my life with you, than without. I can not imagine having to do life without you by my side. You were my first love, my best friend, my work-buddy, travel-buddy, there’s-something-in-your-teeth-buddy. The first person to break my heart and then mend it again. The only person to witness me, all of me: the good, the bad, the pajamas….You were magic, a unicorn, and everybody knew it. You loved people and they loved you. And oh, how you made us laugh! You haven’t just fought a good fight, my baby, you fought the best fight. I have never witnessed anybody endure the amount of physical pain and losses and disappointments you have had to over the last 5 years and do it with such grace and integrity, whilst all the time fiercely believing and surrendering to God’s plan. You finished the race well, the suffering is over. Now Rest In Peace, my Jamie. Cancer might have won the battle for your body, but your soul was never beaten. I will always love you xxx (James was diagnosed with head an neck cancer in Jan 2019. It was his wish to keep his fight private until he was ready to share it. He was unfortunately not granted that opportunity, but his legacy will live on, as one does not go through the fire unchanged.)
James Alexander, 8 Jan 1978 – 28 April 2023 To say my heart is broken would not do justice to the 22 years we spent together. This year I’ve crossed a rubicon: I’ve spent more of my life with you, than without. I can not imagine having to do life without you by my side. You were my first love, my best friend, my work-buddy, travel-buddy, there’s-something-in-your-teeth-buddy. The first person to break my heart and then mend it again. The only person to witness me, all of me: the good, the bad, the pajamas….You were magic, a unicorn, and everybody knew it. You loved people and they loved you. And oh, how you made us laugh! You haven’t just fought a good fight, my baby, you fought the best fight. I have never witnessed anybody endure the amount of physical pain and losses and disappointments you have had to over the last 5 years and do it with such grace and integrity, whilst all the time fiercely believing and surrendering to God’s plan. You finished the race well, the suffering is over. Now Rest In Peace, my Jamie. Cancer might have won the battle for your body, but your soul was never beaten. I will always love you xxx (James was diagnosed with head an neck cancer in Jan 2019. It was his wish to keep his fight private until he was ready to share it. He was unfortunately not granted that opportunity, but his legacy will live on, as one does not go through the fire unchanged.)
James Alexander, 8 Jan 1978 – 28 April 2023 To say my heart is broken would not do justice to the 22 years we spent together. This year I’ve crossed a rubicon: I’ve spent more of my life with you, than without. I can not imagine having to do life without you by my side. You were my first love, my best friend, my work-buddy, travel-buddy, there’s-something-in-your-teeth-buddy. The first person to break my heart and then mend it again. The only person to witness me, all of me: the good, the bad, the pajamas….You were magic, a unicorn, and everybody knew it. You loved people and they loved you. And oh, how you made us laugh! You haven’t just fought a good fight, my baby, you fought the best fight. I have never witnessed anybody endure the amount of physical pain and losses and disappointments you have had to over the last 5 years and do it with such grace and integrity, whilst all the time fiercely believing and surrendering to God’s plan. You finished the race well, the suffering is over. Now Rest In Peace, my Jamie. Cancer might have won the battle for your body, but your soul was never beaten. I will always love you xxx (James was diagnosed with head an neck cancer in Jan 2019. It was his wish to keep his fight private until he was ready to share it. He was unfortunately not granted that opportunity, but his legacy will live on, as one does not go through the fire unchanged.)
James Alexander, 8 Jan 1978 – 28 April 2023 To say my heart is broken would not do justice to the 22 years we spent together. This year I’ve crossed a rubicon: I’ve spent more of my life with you, than without. I can not imagine having to do life without you by my side. You were my first love, my best friend, my work-buddy, travel-buddy, there’s-something-in-your-teeth-buddy. The first person to break my heart and then mend it again. The only person to witness me, all of me: the good, the bad, the pajamas….You were magic, a unicorn, and everybody knew it. You loved people and they loved you. And oh, how you made us laugh! You haven’t just fought a good fight, my baby, you fought the best fight. I have never witnessed anybody endure the amount of physical pain and losses and disappointments you have had to over the last 5 years and do it with such grace and integrity, whilst all the time fiercely believing and surrendering to God’s plan. You finished the race well, the suffering is over. Now Rest In Peace, my Jamie. Cancer might have won the battle for your body, but your soul was never beaten. I will always love you xxx (James was diagnosed with head an neck cancer in Jan 2019. It was his wish to keep his fight private until he was ready to share it. He was unfortunately not granted that opportunity, but his legacy will live on, as one does not go through the fire unchanged.)
James Alexander, 8 Jan 1978 – 28 April 2023 To say my heart is broken would not do justice to the 22 years we spent together. This year I’ve crossed a rubicon: I’ve spent more of my life with you, than without. I can not imagine having to do life without you by my side. You were my first love, my best friend, my work-buddy, travel-buddy, there’s-something-in-your-teeth-buddy. The first person to break my heart and then mend it again. The only person to witness me, all of me: the good, the bad, the pajamas….You were magic, a unicorn, and everybody knew it. You loved people and they loved you. And oh, how you made us laugh! You haven’t just fought a good fight, my baby, you fought the best fight. I have never witnessed anybody endure the amount of physical pain and losses and disappointments you have had to over the last 5 years and do it with such grace and integrity, whilst all the time fiercely believing and surrendering to God’s plan. You finished the race well, the suffering is over. Now Rest In Peace, my Jamie. Cancer might have won the battle for your body, but your soul was never beaten. I will always love you xxx (James was diagnosed with head an neck cancer in Jan 2019. It was his wish to keep his fight private until he was ready to share it. He was unfortunately not granted that opportunity, but his legacy will live on, as one does not go through the fire unchanged.)
James Alexander, 8 Jan 1978 – 28 April 2023 To say my heart is broken would not do justice to the 22 years we spent together. This year I’ve crossed a rubicon: I’ve spent more of my life with you, than without. I can not imagine having to do life without you by my side. You were my first love, my best friend, my work-buddy, travel-buddy, there’s-something-in-your-teeth-buddy. The first person to break my heart and then mend it again. The only person to witness me, all of me: the good, the bad, the pajamas….You were magic, a unicorn, and everybody knew it. You loved people and they loved you. And oh, how you made us laugh! You haven’t just fought a good fight, my baby, you fought the best fight. I have never witnessed anybody endure the amount of physical pain and losses and disappointments you have had to over the last 5 years and do it with such grace and integrity, whilst all the time fiercely believing and surrendering to God’s plan. You finished the race well, the suffering is over. Now Rest In Peace, my Jamie. Cancer might have won the battle for your body, but your soul was never beaten. I will always love you xxx (James was diagnosed with head an neck cancer in Jan 2019. It was his wish to keep his fight private until he was ready to share it. He was unfortunately not granted that opportunity, but his legacy will live on, as one does not go through the fire unchanged.)
James Alexander, 8 Jan 1978 – 28 April 2023 To say my heart is broken would not do justice to the 22 years we spent together. This year I’ve crossed a rubicon: I’ve spent more of my life with you, than without. I can not imagine having to do life without you by my side. You were my first love, my best friend, my work-buddy, travel-buddy, there’s-something-in-your-teeth-buddy. The first person to break my heart and then mend it again. The only person to witness me, all of me: the good, the bad, the pajamas….You were magic, a unicorn, and everybody knew it. You loved people and they loved you. And oh, how you made us laugh! You haven’t just fought a good fight, my baby, you fought the best fight. I have never witnessed anybody endure the amount of physical pain and losses and disappointments you have had to over the last 5 years and do it with such grace and integrity, whilst all the time fiercely believing and surrendering to God’s plan. You finished the race well, the suffering is over. Now Rest In Peace, my Jamie. Cancer might have won the battle for your body, but your soul was never beaten. I will always love you xxx (James was diagnosed with head an neck cancer in Jan 2019. It was his wish to keep his fight private until he was ready to share it. He was unfortunately not granted that opportunity, but his legacy will live on, as one does not go through the fire unchanged.)
This is a thank you within a thank you: I was on the cover of a glossy magazine whilst my husband was dying. A very surreal (and I imagine unique?) experience. I am truly grateful for the respectful way the South African media has been handling James’ death. But particularly grateful to the team at Rooi Rose for honouring James (and my) wish to keep his health struggles out of the public sphere during that specific time. There was something poetic about the fact that my cover left the shelves on 27 April, and James passed away the very next day. Thank you to the editor, @anliejansevr and her team, for choosing not to sensationalize our private battle.  And then, for my 2nd thank you, go visit @rooirose online for more pretty pics.  To the village that helped make James and my 20th Anniversary/Living Funeral possible, thank you for one of the most heartbreakingly beautiful and memorable days of my life. James felt the same. What a celebration it was!  Event organized & staged by: Salt and Pepper Creative @saltnpepper_creative @pulanels @nelisvosloo Photos: @elsabeputter from @mightyfineweddings Anel dressed by: Zoët @zoet_thebrand Hair maintenance: Stijl Salon @stijl_salon Anel’s make-up and hairstyling: Francois de Klerk, @fafa_make_up Venue: Hendrik and Ria Verloren van Themaat’s Druiweplaas Picnic area in Zwavelpoort, Pretoria – FB: Hendrik Druiweplaas  Special thanks to: @sungardens_hospice for making sure the ‘groom’ could be present. @riananelofficial for our beautiful personal song, what a gift you have. Thank you for sharing it with us. @leandiedurandt for waving her magic wand and making sure I looked pretty on the day. Every friend and family member that sent a video, gave donations, brought a piece of cheese, or helped set-up and clean-up afterwards. I will always be grateful X  Oh, and last random fact: Today, 22 years ago James asked me to be his girlfriend. At 21, it was the first time in my life a boy had ever asked me that…
It takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to help a life to end. Allow me over the next few weeks to thank my village. In 1983 James went to Sungardens Nursery. 40 years later he would spend his last months at @sungardens_hospice in Pretoria. James called the hospice ‘The Portal to Heaven’. It truly takes a bunch of angels to do what these Drs and nurses and staff do on a daily basis. Their compassion, skill, knowledge about palliative care and true empathy made an unbearable process bearable. Not only did they put up with James’ antics, but they (physically) held our hands on the darkest days. They didn’t just take care of James, they loved him, and for that I (and our families) will always be grateful. If you’re looking for a worthy cause, why not consider making a donation to The Sungardens Hospice, ABSA Bank, Savings Account, Nr 3498149692, Bank Code: 630193, Reference: James Alexander.  When James was still lucid he would entertain the staff on his way to his daily shower. I was often instructed to bring all sorts of paraphernalia. He never lost his sense of humour amongst all the pain and suffering. It was truly a masterclass in finding the joy amongst the sorrow.
It takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to help a life to end. Allow me over the next few weeks to thank my village. In 1983 James went to Sungardens Nursery. 40 years later he would spend his last months at @sungardens_hospice in Pretoria. James called the hospice ‘The Portal to Heaven’. It truly takes a bunch of angels to do what these Drs and nurses and staff do on a daily basis. Their compassion, skill, knowledge about palliative care and true empathy made an unbearable process bearable. Not only did they put up with James’ antics, but they (physically) held our hands on the darkest days. They didn’t just take care of James, they loved him, and for that I (and our families) will always be grateful. If you’re looking for a worthy cause, why not consider making a donation to The Sungardens Hospice, ABSA Bank, Savings Account, Nr 3498149692, Bank Code: 630193, Reference: James Alexander.  When James was still lucid he would entertain the staff on his way to his daily shower. I was often instructed to bring all sorts of paraphernalia. He never lost his sense of humour amongst all the pain and suffering. It was truly a masterclass in finding the joy amongst the sorrow.
I am absolutely overwhelmed by the outpouring of love for James and our families. Thank you for every message and every beautiful tribute. Know that we appreciate and treasure your words and prayers in this time. James was not on social media, but he would have gotten a big ‘ironic kick’ out of the fact that he’s been trending! Rest In Peace, my baby x
Vinnige stop in Philippolis, die oudste (en cuteste) dorpie in die Vrystaat. Wonderlike verblyf by #diegroenhuis en dankie aan Ian en Liezel by die #philippolishotel wat gesorg het dat ons mage (en boude) warm is. Skaaptjoppie in the side 😋 #roadtrip #proudlysouthafrican #localislekker
Hot tubbing under the stars! On an epic road-trip through our beautiful country with my dear friend @elsabeputter. First stop Rosendal in the Eastern Freestate. What a gem of a town! Thank you to @therosendal Country Retreat for hosting us and treating us like royalty. I can not recommend this location highly enough for a weekend break-away or as a wedding or special event location. Go (re)treat yourself! And there’s nothing like some locally sourced clean beauty products to help fight the winter dryness. Love your stuff @fey_craft (and everything that’s NOT in it!) #roadtrip #proudlysa #localislekker #cleanbeauty
Hot tubbing under the stars! On an epic road-trip through our beautiful country with my dear friend @elsabeputter. First stop Rosendal in the Eastern Freestate. What a gem of a town! Thank you to @therosendal Country Retreat for hosting us and treating us like royalty. I can not recommend this location highly enough for a weekend break-away or as a wedding or special event location. Go (re)treat yourself! And there’s nothing like some locally sourced clean beauty products to help fight the winter dryness. Love your stuff @fey_craft (and everything that’s NOT in it!) #roadtrip #proudlysa #localislekker #cleanbeauty
Hot tubbing under the stars! On an epic road-trip through our beautiful country with my dear friend @elsabeputter. First stop Rosendal in the Eastern Freestate. What a gem of a town! Thank you to @therosendal Country Retreat for hosting us and treating us like royalty. I can not recommend this location highly enough for a weekend break-away or as a wedding or special event location. Go (re)treat yourself! And there’s nothing like some locally sourced clean beauty products to help fight the winter dryness. Love your stuff @fey_craft (and everything that’s NOT in it!) #roadtrip #proudlysa #localislekker #cleanbeauty
I obviously wake up like this in the mornings! Laaste week om jou April kopie van @rooirose op die rakke te kry. Dankie weereens aan die Rooi Rose span wat my soos ’n supermodel laat lyk en voel het. En ’n spesiale shout out aan @martjieroos vir die heerlike artikel (ek verklap dalk ’n ietsie oor hoekom ek weer besig is om blond te gaan…) Lekker naweek, almal!
We had the best time exploring the @moolmanshoek Game reserve and Equestrian farm in the Eastern Freestate. There are just the most gorgeous mountains to climb, grasslands to cross amongst the game, paddocks filled with horses and forests to hug trees in. Best part was the 5 star dinner in front of the fireplace specially prepared for us by their chef. Thank you for spoiling us, Moolmanshoek! We’ll be back! #roadtrip #proudlysa #localislekker
We had the best time exploring the @moolmanshoek Game reserve and Equestrian farm in the Eastern Freestate. There are just the most gorgeous mountains to climb, grasslands to cross amongst the game, paddocks filled with horses and forests to hug trees in. Best part was the 5 star dinner in front of the fireplace specially prepared for us by their chef. Thank you for spoiling us, Moolmanshoek! We’ll be back! #roadtrip #proudlysa #localislekker
#tbt We’ve been back in SA for a year, a whole year! Time flies when… well time just flies like the Millennium Falcon. Throw back to that time we got to experience Disneyland in California in the best possible way: with a real life Disney employee with all of the inside hacks. Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge was just outta this world! Thanks to the Dornfeld’s for this memorable day x #SAtoLAtoSA
#tbt We’ve been back in SA for a year, a whole year! Time flies when… well time just flies like the Millennium Falcon. Throw back to that time we got to experience Disneyland in California in the best possible way: with a real life Disney employee with all of the inside hacks. Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge was just outta this world! Thanks to the Dornfeld’s for this memorable day x #SAtoLAtoSA
#tbt We’ve been back in SA for a year, a whole year! Time flies when… well time just flies like the Millennium Falcon. Throw back to that time we got to experience Disneyland in California in the best possible way: with a real life Disney employee with all of the inside hacks. Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge was just outta this world! Thanks to the Dornfeld’s for this memorable day x #SAtoLAtoSA
