Perri Lauren

Perri Lauren Instagram – Roday is my 37th birthday. It’s been a much better year and time than 34, 35 and 36. The past few years have been a mental, spiritual and existential struggle from depression and a diagnosis of schitzo-effectice disorder, 2 hospitalizations, 1 benzo withdawrl and 1 Out-Patient program, a spiritual and existential crisis that lead to 2 years of not leaving my bed or the couch or the house, for that matter, and shutting everyone and everything out of my life. I was trapped in darkness. I couldn’t understand why I was here or why I existed. I couldn’t understand why I got to “be” and I couldn’t figure out how to be anymore.
And then I made the realization that Hashem made me. Hashem created me and gave me a soul, a Jewish soul, and breathed life into my body. And while I very much AM a body, I am my spirit and soul and the only real and tangible thing I can hold on to from day to day, in this life, if my faith and I am so grateful to Hashem for making me Jewish and bringing me back to my faith. I wouldn’t still be here today without it and It has transformed my life mentally and spiritually. It changed the way my mind thinks, feels and functions. It was just what I needed to relearn HOW to LIVE in this world on a day to day basis and bring me back to the light. I finally feel like I am experiencing being human again and what it’s like to live and love and be alive.
And also, my neice was born. I’m an Aunt and it’s been another of the greatest gifts of my life. She is a total munchkin and my role as an Aunt is the best role I’ve ever played. 😉
I know I’ve stilll been distant with my friends and I need to work on that. Please don’t take it personally. I just haven’t figured out how to navigate too much spontaneity and have trouble making plans. I want to work on that this year and bring you all back into my life.
I haven’t been exercising or training or racing, for anyone who has been wondering. I don’t know if I will ever return to those things. I’m just not motivated in the same way by and for the things as I used to be. Sometimes I find that girl hiding inside & think I can blend my 2 lives together but I haven’t been able to figure out how to do that yet. | Posted on 18/Jan/2024 23:31:42