Take me baaaack!! 😩 #noafilter #coachellababes #vip #noachella #coachella #coachella2024 #weekend1AND2 #nochella #doja #howmydemonslook #coachellastyle #viponly #rosegarden
Would 10-year-old you be happy with who you are? ❤️ Little Me (swipe!) would never have imagined all the dress-up she’d get to play, all the fear she would be free of, and all the wonder she’d get to experience. She’d be in awe—both alarmed and dazzled—by the woman she’d become. She’d be worried and overwhelmed by what it would it take to get there, but mostly, I think she’d be excited. My life has turned out far, far greater than I ever let myself dream. I exceeded my wildest expectations. With others’ help and willingness, I fulfilled my deepest desires. I earned my meaning, purpose, and joy. I am so grateful, and honored, to be able to support causes that help others realize these in their own lives, and I recognize that safety, security, and freedom are foundational to allowing these to flourish. So this is just a post of gratitude and a prompt to remember who you were at 10 years old. What dreams have you fulfilled? How far have you come? What more do you have yet to realize and bring to fruition? What makes you happiest and what makes you feel filled with purpose? Do you accept and love yourself? Pat yourself on the back. You’ve probably reached a lot you never imagined, either, for better and worse. ❤️ 👉🏼 Link in bio to Unaccountable, where you can read 10-year-old me in my latest blog post that is a deleted chapter from my memoir. 🥰 #wayward🍎🐍 #deletedscene #memoirwriting #writersofinstagram #religioustrauma #exvangelical #exChristian #fundamentalism #exfundie #purityculture #purityculturedropout #atheist #freedomfromreligion
Would 10-year-old you be happy with who you are? ❤️ Little Me (swipe!) would never have imagined all the dress-up she’d get to play, all the fear she would be free of, and all the wonder she’d get to experience. She’d be in awe—both alarmed and dazzled—by the woman she’d become. She’d be worried and overwhelmed by what it would it take to get there, but mostly, I think she’d be excited. My life has turned out far, far greater than I ever let myself dream. I exceeded my wildest expectations. With others’ help and willingness, I fulfilled my deepest desires. I earned my meaning, purpose, and joy. I am so grateful, and honored, to be able to support causes that help others realize these in their own lives, and I recognize that safety, security, and freedom are foundational to allowing these to flourish. So this is just a post of gratitude and a prompt to remember who you were at 10 years old. What dreams have you fulfilled? How far have you come? What more do you have yet to realize and bring to fruition? What makes you happiest and what makes you feel filled with purpose? Do you accept and love yourself? Pat yourself on the back. You’ve probably reached a lot you never imagined, either, for better and worse. ❤️ 👉🏼 Link in bio to Unaccountable, where you can read 10-year-old me in my latest blog post that is a deleted chapter from my memoir. 🥰 #wayward🍎🐍 #deletedscene #memoirwriting #writersofinstagram #religioustrauma #exvangelical #exChristian #fundamentalism #exfundie #purityculture #purityculturedropout #atheist #freedomfromreligion
This is the inside cover of my diary at 10 years old. ✍🏼 Link in bio to my latest blog post on Unaccountable! It’s rather strange being an adult entertainer known for stories about her childhood. If you’ve felt jolted by my social media posts ping-ponging from innocence to sexiness, with religious trauma rants and funny cat memes in between, you’re not alone. I’m well aware of the breadth that my content spans. It is but a microcosm glimpse of my inner world, the true arrays of which are reserved only for those who know and love me best. I say this to acknowledge the incongruency you may perceive. If it bothers you, I understand, yet I am a whole person. Not a niche. Every woman was once a girl. This newsletter is another deleted scene — an entire deleted chapter, rather — from my book, “Wayward: A Memoir of Spiritual Warfare & Sexual Purity.” The last scene I shared was an Easter story. I swear I didn’t mean for its follow-up to be a Passover story but — by sheer coincidence — Passover is tomorrow and here we are. The bulk of my published memoir takes place in my teen and young adult years. It was the precious pages of my pre-teen youth that were mostly cut. Come back with me to April of 1996, to my world of homemade hoopskirts, bunk bed kisses, and a prophesy that haunted me all the way into adulthood! 👉🏼 Link in bio to Unaccountable! #wayward #deletedscenes #childhooddiaries #memoir #vineyardmusic #spiritualwarfare #purityculture #firstkiss #religioustrauma #TorontoBlessing #exChristian #Passover #messianicjewish #exvangelical #atheist #atheistsofinstagram #AliceGreczyn
When your earrings match the wallpaper, it’s okay to have a moment. 🍊 #60svintage #60sjewelry
BBQ vibes. 💋 No, I have *not* been watching #TheNewLook and swooning over #40svintagehairstyles. No, I do *not* have an Etsy cart filled with vintage Dior, Balenciaga, and Schiaparelli. Yes, I *do* want to wear #victoryrolls all summer.
Uh-oh. Good thing we’re not on ABC Family anymore! 🫦 New content with @go_nino just dropped where you hope to find it! 👀 Link in bio to see Laurel and Mads the way we miiiight have been #behindthescenes! 🤭 🎥: @ryanessmaker #AllieGonino #AliceGreczyn #TheLyingGame #actress #actresses #models #vintagevibes #pinupstyle #pinupgirl #pinupgirls #classy #70sboho #crimsonandclover
Here’s lookin’ at summer. I’m beyond ready. 🕶️
Schwipety schkroll. 🕶️ Elevator shenanigans with my @digaeta, captured by my @ryanessmaker.
Schwipety schkroll. 🕶️ Elevator shenanigans with my @digaeta, captured by my @ryanessmaker.
Why do people let themselves get knocked to the floor at mass #revivals? What is #speakingintongues? How are people miraculously cured of long-standing ailments—and why isn’t everyone who receives #prayer from a #faithhealer? I’ve been promising a video and written version of my conference presentation on this topic for a while. When my friend @doubtandabout invited me on his hugely popular YouTube channel #HolyKoolaid to collaborate on an #exposé of #faithhealers, I leaped at the chance! Learning the #science behind the #supernatural looking phenomena I saw growing up as a #CharismaticChristian was crucial to my healing from #religioustrauma. For years after I lost my faith, I was haunted by memories of what I’d been told was proof of the Holy Spirit—and therefore proof of God and, I believed, proof of hell. I am thrilled to share what I’ve learned with a wider audience. My goal is not to mock people who undergo genuine #mysticalexperiences, nor belittle the interpretations that may help give their lives meaning. My motive is to help people like my younger self who are desperate for #evidencebased answers to #faithbased confusion. 📺 Watch my 10-minute video collaboration with Thomas at YouTube.com/@HolyKoolaid 👉🏼 Link in bio to my Substack “Unaccountable” where you can read the written version of “Drunk, High, & Hypnotized: The Neuroscience of Mystical Experiences.” I first gave this presentation at @wisecounsellor’s Conference On Religious Trauma. I was also honored to give it at @rfrorg, @freethoughtflorida, and @nashvillenones. I’m thrilled to finally offer a written and video version thanks to @doubtandabout!🥰 #neurotheology #neuroscience #faithhealing #miracles #supernatural #atheist #atheistcommunity #atheistsofinstagram #paranormal #debunked #Christianity #Pentecostal #HolyRoller #revival #religioustraumasyndrome
Coffee girl. ☕️
You are allowed to make art out of your pain. Comedic art, dramatic art, erotic art, and offensive art. You are allowed to pry open old wounds and lick them with laughter. You are allowed to highlight scars old and fresh and tattoo them with beauty. You are allowed to fictionalize your story or tell the rawness of your truth. You are allowed to share it. You are allowed to keep it private. You are allowed to profit from it or donate it for free. I’ve said before: Art is what transforms the world. Art is what heals humanity. Art is what persuades a mind to change. Not politics, not lectures, and not data, however much I personally wish these would speak for themselves. When the ideas these provoke are accompanied by art—whether a bold, graphic text or a months-long painting or a years-long film—the impact of their reach extends further than their information alone. You may think you’re not artistic. Do you cook? Do you invent? Do you build Legos, plan parties, or decorate your home? Do you streamline and condense, or maximize and whimsify? Do you debate? Do you structure? I have yet to meet a person who wasn’t creative in some way, however not-artistically they may think of themselves. Not all art will resonate with everyone. It’s not supposed to. Art is a risk and speaks most to those who can relate. Taste is subjective and impact is immeasurable. So keep making your art, whatever it is. You never know whom you will reach and how much you will help to heal them. ❤️ #forthesakeofart #artheals #laughteristhebestmedicine #creativitymatters 📷: @ryanessmaker
Doing something unholy. 🙏🏼 #HappyEaster. Did you see #Immaculate? 😳 #fatherforgiveme #unholy #nun #sinner #atheist #exvangelical #irreverent #exchristian #pleaseunfollowme
Me, looking at the weather forecast for this weekend. Me, looking at the presidential candidates for this fall. Me, looking at a custard-filled long john knowing glycemic spikes cause inflammation leading to cancers and dementia and debating whether I want one anyway.
My first #actinggig was an #EasterSunday play when I was four years old and my dad was the senior pastor of our #FoursquareChurch. 👉🏼 Link in bio to my blog #Unaccountable, where you can read this deleted scene from my book, “Wayward: A Memoir of Spiritual Warfare & Sexual Purity.” This video clip is from my podcast appearance on @preacherboysdoc, hosted by @eskwarczynski. His goal is to help expose the abuses of #religiousfundamentalism. I was raised #nondenominationalchristian and we certainly did not consider ourselves #fundamentalist in the least. But there was abuse and for me, it was intensely psychological—and often because I didn’t know how to interpret the Bible allegorically instead of literally. Many kids like me grow up unable to hear God themselves and are therefore reliant on the interpretations of what “God” tells other people, and what they’re left to decipher from the Bible itself. The #Easter story is not one about unconditional love. It’s a story about an egomaniacal narcissist who sent his only child to be tortured and killed as payment for sins he knew we’d commit when he created us. (Or is God not all-knowing, after all?) The penalty for rejecting this belief is eternal torture in hell. This is what I celebrated every Easter Sunday for 21 years until I freed myself. ❤️ I understand that many find overwhelming beauty and redemption in the tale of Christ’s death and resurrection. Truly, I am happy for you. All I ever found was shame and fear—and the utter absence of a God who chose and still chooses to remain silent to me. Please, unfollow if you cannot handle this truth, for I may never stop writing about it. 👉🏼 Listen to my full conversation with Eric by going to the link in bio of @preacherboysdoc and finding episode 279: When God Becomes Chaos. Or, watch on YouTube if you’re more visual! 👉🏼 Link in bio to “Unaccountable” where you can read this deleted scene and more! #exvangelical #exChristian #atheist #bornagain #religioustrauma #religioustraumasyndrome #purityculture #godisnotgood #actress #Wayward🍎🐍
I’m craving French fries for some reason. 🍟 📷: @ryanessmaker
Found some old pics I took in Iceland! 🐎 Did you know #Icelandichorses have fifth gait? It’s called #tölt and I can only describe it as speed-walking—which cracked me up on and off the horse! 😂
Ready for summer. 🌞 📷: @ryanessmaker
Let’s hear it for vintage pointy bras! 🍒🤭 I’ve always loved how smutty they are beneath an otherwise modest sweater, like this one from the 1950s that has me feelin’ like a proper #sweatergirl, #pinupstyle! 💄 #bulletbra #50svintage #vintagelingerie #rockabilly #rockabillygirl
The refund told me before she did. She’d kicked me out of her poetry class. She, who exhorted women to tell their truth and to tell it fearlessly, said that I’d made some women in her class feel “unsafe.” My crime? Sharing that my wildest dream was to be on @joerogan. She’d opened her workshop with a poem about not being a good girl. “Fuck good,” she’d said. I’d believed she meant it. “You openly declared you’re not a safe person,” her message explaining the refund told me. Yes, fellow writer, because you know more than anyone that writing is not safe. The pen is as dangerous as a camera is as dangerous as a gun. I’d sent her the declaration accompanying my most controversial blog piece when asking permission to sign up for her class. I’d wanted her to read it before entering her space with my truth. “Alice, pleeeease sign up,” she’d assured me. “These women are truth-tellers.” I fell for it. Instead lifting me up, she let other women tear me down. I found another poetry class that wasn’t exclusive to women. I know women aren’t the problem and that women’s spaces are meant to provide safety. But I’ve learned time and again that a safe space is a rigid space. An exclusionary space is a cancel-able space. It doesn’t matter what the criteria is for membership. If it’s not open to all, I now assume it is not open to me. According to some, I am a dangerous woman. These coaches accuse me of this while their Instagram bios celebrate being dangerous women themselves. “Good girls never make history,” they quote, preaching Instagram Reels about rejecting ideas of feminine docility—then rejecting me if I don’t reject docility in their way. I’m so done. Fuck your safe space. Fuck your feminine retreat. Woman, I love. Women, I fear. Love and light, bitches. 🚬 ••• #NotesFromMyNotes of 2021, shared #forthepoetry.
Did you know? 🥣 Dr. John Harvey Kellogg had a very ulterior motive for making his famous breakfast cereal. Did #Kelloggs #cornflakes work for you? 😂 More #funfacts about the late doctor: • Dr. Kellogg was a #SeventhDayAdventist. • He was an advocate for the #ProgressiveMovement while also advocating eugenics and segregation (progress is so relative, no?). • He was so sincere in his belief that seggs was bad for health, he reportedly never even consummated his own marriage. • He invented #granola among other cereals and is one of several people credited with inventing peanut butter. • His wife, Ella, is supposedly the one who suggested rolling out cornflake dough into thin sheets to then crumble into flakey pieces! Thats all, folks! Happy Friday!
New favorite t-shirt! #GiveMeTacosOrGiveMeDeath #🌮 #TacoTuesday By @neighborhood_official #svg #svgarchivesbyneighborhood, from a special someone. 🥰
