Perri Lauren Instagram – I’m so disappointed in myself. I knowingly ordered non Kosher sushi for dinner last night and ate it. On passover of all times. I thought I could justify it being fish and rice and vegetables but the longer I live the more my soul craves being observant and the more I realize it’s for the good of my soul and my soul definitely pays the price when I act outside the laws of Torah. It’s like my soul mourns and hashem mourns with me when I make choices that aren’t Jewish.
I know this sounds like I wish this level of observance on all my Jewish friends and followers, and in a way I do. I cant describe the difference I feel from before and after its like I came alive. Truly alive. I have also been through so much over the last 5 years so I am incredibly grateful to Hashem for bringing me out if the darkness and I do this to honor Hashem and all Hashem has done for me but at the same time…we all have our own story and Journey and no way is wrong. I am just incredibly hard on myself because I can’t justify my life without recognizing Hashems presence and hand in it all.
Basically, I’m paying the price today for my actions yesterday. I feel sad and empty. It takes time for this feeling to pass. It makes me want to lay in bed all day. It’s almost worth the price for the light and joy I feel on the other side of it all. | Posted on 25/Apr/2024 20:27:36
