Lynn Toler Instagram – You know what weirds me out about current culture?
A whole lot!
But specifically today’s issue is the manichean nature of our discourse.
It’s all so very stark. It’s either this or that. I see people out here giving advice on everything in such a definitive voice. THIS is how you do it. Sometimes I think they believe if they are loud enough we won’t notice that they have no real knowledge beyond a couple of google searches.
A platform and an opinion does not an expert make, remember that. Even when I’m telling you stuff. In my last book, Dear Sonali I started out by telling you about all of my biases (that I am aware of.) Then I ask the reader to read themselves so they can use the advice I give in the best manner for them. I was playing Duchess (my kids called my mom that) for young ladies. (Links to both books about my mom’s emotional abilities are in my bio.)
When I used to get stuck, as worriers tend to do, hand wringing over a decision, petrified to get it wrong, mom would say: “The question is not which is right and which is wrong the question is what set of problems do you want to solve?”
Sometimes when you are trying to decide between A and B and there is no clear choice, you have to pull it apart and lay it all out so you can see what’s really there.
A provides these benefits but at this cost. B provides other benefits at that cost.
A may be the best decision for you given your circumstances and your personality. While B might be better for me given my predilections and foibles.
My mother used to give me answers by asking a whole lot of questions that required me to think my way through how I feel. The facts were never the problem it was how I was feeling about them that had me tied in knots nine ways from Sunday.
Anyway it’s a useful process. It’s what my podcast Feeling on Purpose is gonna try to do. I know I keep saying I’m gonna do it and I’m working on it but absent my hype man and my glowing orb of a mother I’m just out here white knuckling everything.
#emotionalintelligence #feeling #mood
Happy Sunday.
Shoutout @sachkadwahai | Posted on 28/Jul/2024 19:29:20
