Lynn Toler Instagram – Some days problems pick you and there’s no way to see them coming. Occasionally events conspire to write a story that is painful in the moment but if you have the right sense of humor is funny in the retelling of it. I know that if that happened to me I’d tell everybody … twice. If I had to suffer the event, ain’t no way in the world I’m not gonna get some joy out of it on the backend. My mother used to tell me you have to look at the whole thing. In other words when something bad happens you can’t just see the problems it causes but you have to find a way to make it inure to your benefit, even if it’s just the lesson not to do it again or a good story to tell. But when you get really proficient at #emotional management you can use other parts too. I look back over the year and see that I have developed a What Would Eric Do-like calm in the midst of turmoil. Since he’s not here to lean on I make a point to mimic what he would do even though it feels all wrong. And you know what I figured out? It works for me too. For instance he never felt the need to explain his decisions when dealing with people he had limited interactions with. I often explain to people why I didn’t want this service or I would second guess myself when dealing in areas about which I knew little. Like landscaping. (Don’t ask, your girl has embarked on a massive backyard project in a fit of ‘I gotta find something large to focus on’ that befell me in August.) Now I can be all calm with stuff & they respect it. It sounds dumb, I know, but we’re all weak in our own silly little ways. The thing is you can’t live that weak without trying to smack it around every now and then. Not sure how I got from the guy on the tree (who we all hope is okay) to my backyard but alas, here we are. Relevant #tolerism: the path of least resistance typically leads to the place with the most persistent problems. It would be easier to stay the me I was when he was here but that won’t bear the results I want so I seek the controlled discomfort of mimicking him. Shoutout @woodworking_art DM for further credit or removal