Lynn Toler Instagram – Two quotes struck me this week. One is from #TheBear (TV show) and another from my friend Kay. Kay and I have known each other since we were three. I was a hot mess when I was young. She was (and is) glacial. Picture this: It’s 1976 and my dad bought my sister and I a stick shift. Kay and I were in said automobile when, as I attempted to merge on to the freeway, I panicked and started yelling, ´I can’t do it!’ Kay couldn’t take the wheel b/c it was a stick. So as calmly as you please she told me to pull over, then she talked me down until I could continue. (I’ll get to her quote in a minute) The quote from The Bear (great show BTW) is from the lead guy who is a chef. Someone asked him how it felt when he got some tremendous honor and he said: “ The first ten seconds felt like sort of panic … my brain does this weird thing where it bypasses any sense of joy and immediately attaches itself to dread.” Sooo describes me. I see all progress as an opportunity to get it wrong in a far more spectacular fashion … So annoying.😂 Anyway, back to Kay. I have had my foot on the accelerator for over a year. Afraid if I do anything wrong everything will collapse, I have been hyper vigilant and unrelenting. I’m out here all flagrant with it. Up at 4 a.m. Dinner fixed by 5 a.m. (because I think better in morning and I’m trying to get it right.)Then I clean … write … grocery shop, handle business and am salivating for 9 a.m. so I can start making any calls I’ve been dreading. I’m worn out by noon. So Kay, in response to some communication of mine texted me the following: « OK, hear me … 50 years later … pull over. I am with you, behind you and always thinking about you. » I’m going to do as instructed. I’m pulling over. I’m gonna have fun today. I don’t know how but I am. I’m gonna LEAN into it. Like here. Manufacturing joy w/ nonsense. Every once in a while we all have to pause and reflect. Are you doing The Thing or is that Thing now doing you? I wish you #peace and #joy.