Amanda Fuller Instagram – Hello, middle age (god willing)
I see you
A potential rebirth
Start again
Reset
Take what works, rid of the rest
Take the moments
Of spontaneous dance
Of looking into my child’s eyes
Of kissing my husband
Of being held
And of being alone
More free please
More of what matters please
Rid of the burdens
Of the pressure
Of the trappings
Of appearances
Or at least find more truth in what appears
Here I am
Still breathing
In and out and in and out (iykyk)
Life has felt like a lot of living hell in recent years
Especially this one, especially recent months
Details not necessary
But still living
Finding moments of spontaneous dance
To look into my child’s eyes
To kiss my husband (tho sadly not nearly enough)
That’s something
But it’s time for more
I’m due for it
Living heaven please
Discovering a purpose again
Allowing
discovery
My boy looked into my eyes a couple months back
during bedtime
while snuggling
He said to me
“Mommy
When I turn 40 you’re gonna die”
with such calm
It shook me
My little Scorpio, for sure
But also, he’s the most intuitive
So it shook me
But now I realize
If I am so lucky for that to be the truth
Then I still have more than half my life to live
(or a little less maybe, I think that math is wrong)
What a gift that is
Just to breathe another day
Let alone find moments in it worth living
So I intend to make the most of the second half of my life
Better than I have the first
Get to know myself better
Maybe even actually find a way to love myself
And my life
Wouldn’t that be cool
So, an opportunity
To keep breathing
Dancing
To kiss my husband more
To be held
To hold myself
I guess this is 40
I’m not owed any of it, I know
It’s up to me, I know
*if you care to donate to a cause that you care about in my honor, happy birthday to meeee* | Posted on 28/Aug/2024 00:15:50
