Kate Silverton Instagram – I’ve noticed the phrase “make good choices” being used more and more in schools and childcare settings.
But here’s the thing — that demand we make of a young child flies in the face of what we now know about brain development.
Young children (and many young people) are navigating the world with a brain that’s still developing.
So they don’t have a fully mature prefrontal cortex
THIS is the part of the brain that helps us to make good choices!
It helps us to problem-solve, regulate big feelings, have empathy, and consider the world from another’s perspective.
In my books, I find it helpful to visualise this part of the brain as a little owl — one that becomes a wise owl over time.
It is this part of the brain that helps us to ‘make good choices’, so, expecting that from a child whose brain isn’t developmentally mature? We’re asking the impossible.
Yes, absolutely we want our children to behave appropriately and with empathy for others.
But making good choices is a skill, not a switch.
Children cannot learn how to do it alone – they need our help and guidance – and that means understanding that they WILL make mistakes and having compassion for them when they do.
If we want to nurture healthy brain development, it’s our job to teach our ‘ little owls ‘ how to fly.
And we do that, not by punishing children, or using the very behaviours we’re trying to extinguish ie hitting, isolating, shaming or blaming
These are not OUR ‘best choices’ !
We must model the behaviours we want to see.
Compassion, curiosity, and connection —
Those are the tools that help our children grow.
That’s how we teach our little owls how to fly.
#NotNaughty #ChildDevelopment #TherapeuticParenting #ModellingMatters #WiseOwls #ParentingWithScience #CompassionNotControl #EarlyYearsMatter
#mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth | Posted on 13/May/2025 11:45:00
