When your child gets grouchy / verbally defensive or ‘pushes’ you away after school, it can feel personal—but it’s not about you. It’s about everything they’ve been holding in all day. Getting curious instead of reactive opens the door to connection, not conflict. What if their push is really a cry for safety? Let’s talk about why this moment matters most #ParentingWithConnection #AfterSchoolMeltdowns #GentleParenting #EmotionalSafety #ChildDevelopment #CuriousNotCritical #ThereIsNoSuchThingAsNaughty
I’ve noticed the phrase “make good choices” being used more and more in schools and childcare settings. But here’s the thing — that demand we make of a young child flies in the face of what we now know about brain development. Young children (and many young people) are navigating the world with a brain that’s still developing. So they don’t have a fully mature prefrontal cortex THIS is the part of the brain that helps us to make good choices! It helps us to problem-solve, regulate big feelings, have empathy, and consider the world from another’s perspective. In my books, I find it helpful to visualise this part of the brain as a little owl — one that becomes a wise owl over time. It is this part of the brain that helps us to ‘make good choices’, so, expecting that from a child whose brain isn’t developmentally mature? We’re asking the impossible. Yes, absolutely we want our children to behave appropriately and with empathy for others. But making good choices is a skill, not a switch. Children cannot learn how to do it alone – they need our help and guidance – and that means understanding that they WILL make mistakes and having compassion for them when they do. If we want to nurture healthy brain development, it’s our job to teach our ‘ little owls ‘ how to fly. And we do that, not by punishing children, or using the very behaviours we’re trying to extinguish ie hitting, isolating, shaming or blaming These are not OUR ‘best choices’ ! We must model the behaviours we want to see. Compassion, curiosity, and connection — Those are the tools that help our children grow. That’s how we teach our little owls how to fly. #NotNaughty #ChildDevelopment #TherapeuticParenting #ModellingMatters #WiseOwls #ParentingWithScience #CompassionNotControl #EarlyYearsMatter #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth
I’ve noticed the phrase “make good choices” being used more and more in schools and childcare settings. But here’s the thing — that demand we make of a young child flies in the face of what we now know about brain development. Young children (and many young people) are navigating the world with a brain that’s still developing. So they don’t have a fully mature prefrontal cortex THIS is the part of the brain that helps us to make good choices! It helps us to problem-solve, regulate big feelings, have empathy, and consider the world from another’s perspective. In my books, I find it helpful to visualise this part of the brain as a little owl — one that becomes a wise owl over time. It is this part of the brain that helps us to ‘make good choices’, so, expecting that from a child whose brain isn’t developmentally mature? We’re asking the impossible. Yes, absolutely we want our children to behave appropriately and with empathy for others. But making good choices is a skill, not a switch. Children cannot learn how to do it alone – they need our help and guidance – and that means understanding that they WILL make mistakes and having compassion for them when they do. If we want to nurture healthy brain development, it’s our job to teach our ‘ little owls ‘ how to fly. And we do that, not by punishing children, or using the very behaviours we’re trying to extinguish ie hitting, isolating, shaming or blaming These are not OUR ‘best choices’ ! We must model the behaviours we want to see. Compassion, curiosity, and connection — Those are the tools that help our children grow. That’s how we teach our little owls how to fly. #NotNaughty #ChildDevelopment #TherapeuticParenting #ModellingMatters #WiseOwls #ParentingWithScience #CompassionNotControl #EarlyYearsMatter #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth
I’ve noticed the phrase “make good choices” being used more and more in schools and childcare settings. But here’s the thing — that demand we make of a young child flies in the face of what we now know about brain development. Young children (and many young people) are navigating the world with a brain that’s still developing. So they don’t have a fully mature prefrontal cortex THIS is the part of the brain that helps us to make good choices! It helps us to problem-solve, regulate big feelings, have empathy, and consider the world from another’s perspective. In my books, I find it helpful to visualise this part of the brain as a little owl — one that becomes a wise owl over time. It is this part of the brain that helps us to ‘make good choices’, so, expecting that from a child whose brain isn’t developmentally mature? We’re asking the impossible. Yes, absolutely we want our children to behave appropriately and with empathy for others. But making good choices is a skill, not a switch. Children cannot learn how to do it alone – they need our help and guidance – and that means understanding that they WILL make mistakes and having compassion for them when they do. If we want to nurture healthy brain development, it’s our job to teach our ‘ little owls ‘ how to fly. And we do that, not by punishing children, or using the very behaviours we’re trying to extinguish ie hitting, isolating, shaming or blaming These are not OUR ‘best choices’ ! We must model the behaviours we want to see. Compassion, curiosity, and connection — Those are the tools that help our children grow. That’s how we teach our little owls how to fly. #NotNaughty #ChildDevelopment #TherapeuticParenting #ModellingMatters #WiseOwls #ParentingWithScience #CompassionNotControl #EarlyYearsMatter #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth
I’ve noticed the phrase “make good choices” being used more and more in schools and childcare settings. But here’s the thing — that demand we make of a young child flies in the face of what we now know about brain development. Young children (and many young people) are navigating the world with a brain that’s still developing. So they don’t have a fully mature prefrontal cortex THIS is the part of the brain that helps us to make good choices! It helps us to problem-solve, regulate big feelings, have empathy, and consider the world from another’s perspective. In my books, I find it helpful to visualise this part of the brain as a little owl — one that becomes a wise owl over time. It is this part of the brain that helps us to ‘make good choices’, so, expecting that from a child whose brain isn’t developmentally mature? We’re asking the impossible. Yes, absolutely we want our children to behave appropriately and with empathy for others. But making good choices is a skill, not a switch. Children cannot learn how to do it alone – they need our help and guidance – and that means understanding that they WILL make mistakes and having compassion for them when they do. If we want to nurture healthy brain development, it’s our job to teach our ‘ little owls ‘ how to fly. And we do that, not by punishing children, or using the very behaviours we’re trying to extinguish ie hitting, isolating, shaming or blaming These are not OUR ‘best choices’ ! We must model the behaviours we want to see. Compassion, curiosity, and connection — Those are the tools that help our children grow. That’s how we teach our little owls how to fly. #NotNaughty #ChildDevelopment #TherapeuticParenting #ModellingMatters #WiseOwls #ParentingWithScience #CompassionNotControl #EarlyYearsMatter #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth
I’ve noticed the phrase “make good choices” being used more and more in schools and childcare settings. But here’s the thing — that demand we make of a young child flies in the face of what we now know about brain development. Young children (and many young people) are navigating the world with a brain that’s still developing. So they don’t have a fully mature prefrontal cortex THIS is the part of the brain that helps us to make good choices! It helps us to problem-solve, regulate big feelings, have empathy, and consider the world from another’s perspective. In my books, I find it helpful to visualise this part of the brain as a little owl — one that becomes a wise owl over time. It is this part of the brain that helps us to ‘make good choices’, so, expecting that from a child whose brain isn’t developmentally mature? We’re asking the impossible. Yes, absolutely we want our children to behave appropriately and with empathy for others. But making good choices is a skill, not a switch. Children cannot learn how to do it alone – they need our help and guidance – and that means understanding that they WILL make mistakes and having compassion for them when they do. If we want to nurture healthy brain development, it’s our job to teach our ‘ little owls ‘ how to fly. And we do that, not by punishing children, or using the very behaviours we’re trying to extinguish ie hitting, isolating, shaming or blaming These are not OUR ‘best choices’ ! We must model the behaviours we want to see. Compassion, curiosity, and connection — Those are the tools that help our children grow. That’s how we teach our little owls how to fly. #NotNaughty #ChildDevelopment #TherapeuticParenting #ModellingMatters #WiseOwls #ParentingWithScience #CompassionNotControl #EarlyYearsMatter #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth
I’ve noticed the phrase “make good choices” being used more and more in schools and childcare settings. But here’s the thing — that demand we make of a young child flies in the face of what we now know about brain development. Young children (and many young people) are navigating the world with a brain that’s still developing. So they don’t have a fully mature prefrontal cortex THIS is the part of the brain that helps us to make good choices! It helps us to problem-solve, regulate big feelings, have empathy, and consider the world from another’s perspective. In my books, I find it helpful to visualise this part of the brain as a little owl — one that becomes a wise owl over time. It is this part of the brain that helps us to ‘make good choices’, so, expecting that from a child whose brain isn’t developmentally mature? We’re asking the impossible. Yes, absolutely we want our children to behave appropriately and with empathy for others. But making good choices is a skill, not a switch. Children cannot learn how to do it alone – they need our help and guidance – and that means understanding that they WILL make mistakes and having compassion for them when they do. If we want to nurture healthy brain development, it’s our job to teach our ‘ little owls ‘ how to fly. And we do that, not by punishing children, or using the very behaviours we’re trying to extinguish ie hitting, isolating, shaming or blaming These are not OUR ‘best choices’ ! We must model the behaviours we want to see. Compassion, curiosity, and connection — Those are the tools that help our children grow. That’s how we teach our little owls how to fly. #NotNaughty #ChildDevelopment #TherapeuticParenting #ModellingMatters #WiseOwls #ParentingWithScience #CompassionNotControl #EarlyYearsMatter #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth
I’ve noticed the phrase “make good choices” being used more and more in schools and childcare settings. But here’s the thing — that demand we make of a young child flies in the face of what we now know about brain development. Young children (and many young people) are navigating the world with a brain that’s still developing. So they don’t have a fully mature prefrontal cortex THIS is the part of the brain that helps us to make good choices! It helps us to problem-solve, regulate big feelings, have empathy, and consider the world from another’s perspective. In my books, I find it helpful to visualise this part of the brain as a little owl — one that becomes a wise owl over time. It is this part of the brain that helps us to ‘make good choices’, so, expecting that from a child whose brain isn’t developmentally mature? We’re asking the impossible. Yes, absolutely we want our children to behave appropriately and with empathy for others. But making good choices is a skill, not a switch. Children cannot learn how to do it alone – they need our help and guidance – and that means understanding that they WILL make mistakes and having compassion for them when they do. If we want to nurture healthy brain development, it’s our job to teach our ‘ little owls ‘ how to fly. And we do that, not by punishing children, or using the very behaviours we’re trying to extinguish ie hitting, isolating, shaming or blaming These are not OUR ‘best choices’ ! We must model the behaviours we want to see. Compassion, curiosity, and connection — Those are the tools that help our children grow. That’s how we teach our little owls how to fly. #NotNaughty #ChildDevelopment #TherapeuticParenting #ModellingMatters #WiseOwls #ParentingWithScience #CompassionNotControl #EarlyYearsMatter #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth
I’ve noticed the phrase “make good choices” being used more and more in schools and childcare settings. But here’s the thing — that demand we make of a young child flies in the face of what we now know about brain development. Young children (and many young people) are navigating the world with a brain that’s still developing. So they don’t have a fully mature prefrontal cortex THIS is the part of the brain that helps us to make good choices! It helps us to problem-solve, regulate big feelings, have empathy, and consider the world from another’s perspective. In my books, I find it helpful to visualise this part of the brain as a little owl — one that becomes a wise owl over time. It is this part of the brain that helps us to ‘make good choices’, so, expecting that from a child whose brain isn’t developmentally mature? We’re asking the impossible. Yes, absolutely we want our children to behave appropriately and with empathy for others. But making good choices is a skill, not a switch. Children cannot learn how to do it alone – they need our help and guidance – and that means understanding that they WILL make mistakes and having compassion for them when they do. If we want to nurture healthy brain development, it’s our job to teach our ‘ little owls ‘ how to fly. And we do that, not by punishing children, or using the very behaviours we’re trying to extinguish ie hitting, isolating, shaming or blaming These are not OUR ‘best choices’ ! We must model the behaviours we want to see. Compassion, curiosity, and connection — Those are the tools that help our children grow. That’s how we teach our little owls how to fly. #NotNaughty #ChildDevelopment #TherapeuticParenting #ModellingMatters #WiseOwls #ParentingWithScience #CompassionNotControl #EarlyYearsMatter #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth
I’ve noticed the phrase “make good choices” being used more and more in schools and childcare settings. But here’s the thing — that demand we make of a young child flies in the face of what we now know about brain development. Young children (and many young people) are navigating the world with a brain that’s still developing. So they don’t have a fully mature prefrontal cortex THIS is the part of the brain that helps us to make good choices! It helps us to problem-solve, regulate big feelings, have empathy, and consider the world from another’s perspective. In my books, I find it helpful to visualise this part of the brain as a little owl — one that becomes a wise owl over time. It is this part of the brain that helps us to ‘make good choices’, so, expecting that from a child whose brain isn’t developmentally mature? We’re asking the impossible. Yes, absolutely we want our children to behave appropriately and with empathy for others. But making good choices is a skill, not a switch. Children cannot learn how to do it alone – they need our help and guidance – and that means understanding that they WILL make mistakes and having compassion for them when they do. If we want to nurture healthy brain development, it’s our job to teach our ‘ little owls ‘ how to fly. And we do that, not by punishing children, or using the very behaviours we’re trying to extinguish ie hitting, isolating, shaming or blaming These are not OUR ‘best choices’ ! We must model the behaviours we want to see. Compassion, curiosity, and connection — Those are the tools that help our children grow. That’s how we teach our little owls how to fly. #NotNaughty #ChildDevelopment #TherapeuticParenting #ModellingMatters #WiseOwls #ParentingWithScience #CompassionNotControl #EarlyYearsMatter #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth
One school just did this… They gifted ‘There’s Still No Such Thing As Naughty’ to every member of their support staff. Because every adult who connects with a child — in the dining hall, corridors, playground, reception — plays a vital role in shaping a child’s sense of safety and belonging. This is how change begins: with connection, compassion, and a shared language rooted in neuroscience. I’m so happy for the children at this school I’ve offered a pro bono session by way of thank you to staff and to follow up on any questions they may have … Could your school be next ? #TheresStillNoSuchThingAsNaughty #WholeSchoolApproach #SupportStaffMatter #TraumaInformedSchools #BelongingMatters #CompassionateClassrooms
“Children may not remember every word we say, but they’ll never forget how we made them feel.” Compassion in parenting isn’t about always having the answers. In this reel I explain – and hopefully model (!) why it’s about presence, tone, safety. It’s the softness in your voice. The way you listen. The warmth in your eyes. That’s what shapes a child’s sense of self. That’s what they carry with them. #CompassionateParenting #ParentingWithPresence #AttachmentParenting #TherapeuticParenting #MayaAngelouInspired #theresnosuchthingasnaughty
🌸 Child therapist and best-selling parenting author Kate Silverton talks about supporting @project.giving.back at RHS Chelsea Flower Show, and the scientific reason for why gardening makes us feel good Read more at the link in @TelegraphLifestyle’s bio. #gardening #chelseaflowershow #cotswolds #gardensforgoodcauses
🌸 Child therapist and best-selling parenting author Kate Silverton talks about supporting @project.giving.back at RHS Chelsea Flower Show, and the scientific reason for why gardening makes us feel good Read more at the link in @TelegraphLifestyle’s bio. #gardening #chelseaflowershow #cotswolds #gardensforgoodcauses
🌸 Child therapist and best-selling parenting author Kate Silverton talks about supporting @project.giving.back at RHS Chelsea Flower Show, and the scientific reason for why gardening makes us feel good Read more at the link in @TelegraphLifestyle’s bio. #gardening #chelseaflowershow #cotswolds #gardensforgoodcauses
🌸 Child therapist and best-selling parenting author Kate Silverton talks about supporting @project.giving.back at RHS Chelsea Flower Show, and the scientific reason for why gardening makes us feel good Read more at the link in @TelegraphLifestyle’s bio. #gardening #chelseaflowershow #cotswolds #gardensforgoodcauses
🌸 Child therapist and best-selling parenting author Kate Silverton talks about supporting @project.giving.back at RHS Chelsea Flower Show, and the scientific reason for why gardening makes us feel good Read more at the link in @TelegraphLifestyle’s bio. #gardening #chelseaflowershow #cotswolds #gardensforgoodcauses
🌸 Child therapist and best-selling parenting author Kate Silverton talks about supporting @project.giving.back at RHS Chelsea Flower Show, and the scientific reason for why gardening makes us feel good Read more at the link in @TelegraphLifestyle’s bio. #gardening #chelseaflowershow #cotswolds #gardensforgoodcauses
I’m thrilled to be supporting the TIGERS Conference next week in Glasgow. Now more than ever, we need to be building resilience in children—not breaking it down. This event brings together some of the world’s leading voices in belonging, trauma, and development. Ticket link in stories! @tigersltd #resilience #emotions
How to help a dysregulated child ? Consider that the majority of communication is non-verbal—our tone, facial expression, and body language speak volumes. So when a child is overwhelmed, it’s not what we say that counts – but how we are that helps a child feel safe – and their nervous system soothed Our body speaks louder than words. When a child is dysregulated, our posture, soft eyes, and gentle tone can offer the anchor they need. Don’t forget to take a deep breath and regulate yourself first— your calm is contagious . NB: I am referring to young children in primary settings. Clearly your priority is to keep yourself safe – and the child physically safe – and for this we may wish to seek the appropriate formal training #education #dysregulation #theresnosuchthingasnaughty #mentalhealth #earlyyears
Tips for the weekend How to repair any ruptures after a busy week for you and your child #relationships #parenting #theresnosuchthingasnaughty
My books – and the science they make so accessible – are being recommended in schools and by Local Authorities for foster / adoptive families .. my approach to parenting and child-care is evidence-based and WORKS to help children feel safer and understood and for us to see safer behaviour and understand our children in turn .. Let’s see more compassion and curiosity – and a happier environment for all #compassion #schools #behaviour #empathy #theresnosuchthingasnaughty #behaviourchange
As a child therapist and parenting author, I’m passionate about helping families, but like so many mums juggling work and home life, I often feel frustrated by the lack of time. I want to be present for my own children AND share what I’ve learned—so yesterday I took a course with the brilliant Andi @dahliabeach and gorgeous Kirsty @rebuildagram who, via their @reels.rockstars course help the many talented mums (and dads) who run their business from home while juggling the day job too to use Instagram more efficiently. Women supporting women, lifting each other up, and finding ways to balance work and motherhood. I loved it. Special thanks to the brilliant @reelsrockstars team and @blackwellgrange for such a superb event space & the incredible quiche and cake that fuelled the day ! Thanks too to my gorgeous, gifted friend @rosiejnixon who introduced us all. 🥳💪🏼 Here’s to the incredible businesses we build from home while still showing up for our families. In the meantime – expect more from me to support YOU and your families in the coming weeks and days ! #parenting #parentingtips #womanhood #sisterhood #entreprenurialmindset
🌿 IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO REPAIR OUR RELATIONSHIPS! 🌿 I had the absolute honour of interviewing Dr Gordon Neufeld last night. He’s the opening speaker for the TIGERS Conference I’m hosting in Glasgow on 8th May. The theme, The Biology of Belonging, brings together some of the world’s leading experts in child development. A developmental psychologist and founder of the Neufeld Institute, Dr Neufeld’s work on attachment and emotional development has transformed how we understand our children’s needs. In our conversation, he shared why it’s never too late to repair—and why parents can always have hope and trust in the power of reconnection. His insights are a vital reminder that healing begins with relationship. His book Hold On to Your Kids offers profound and powerful guidance—and I’m so excited to meet him in person next week and hear him speak. Dr Neufeld was so warm and generous-spirited during our interview, I found myself feeling I may have to resist the urge to run over and give him a bear hug! THIS is the power of emotional warmth and tone of voice—it’s what fosters our biology of belonging ❤️ @paulinescott222 @tigersltd are the powerhouses behind this incredible event, and there’s still time to join—you can contact them on here 🌿 #parenting #biologyofbelonging #attachment
