So. Here I am: 58. No filter. No make-up. Just me at 05:34hrs this morning. A quiet day with none of the children around sadly but such is life as they grow up. I’ve missed them. Lunch with a girlfriend. Made sourdough. Another year has passed and it’s been a largely good one. All the better for sobriety and spirituality. It’s not been without its challenges and the odd bruising of the heart but I’m still here and I’m still learning. As w4nky as this sounds: I’ve fallen in love. With myself. It may have taken 57 years but I’m at my best now. I’m in my prime. I’m steadfast; anchored; solid and unwavering. Being single isn’t sad or desperate or a failure. It’s victory over fear and loneliness. It’s triumph over a need to settle for less than you deserve. It’s peace. (Obvs, applications can be forwarded to: “Liberated Woman In Her Prime” and will be dealt with painstakingly and comprehensively).
I feel I need to address something. I don’t get a lot of nasty comments – or if I do, I don’t see them or send people love in response. But a couple of weeks ago I took part in a fab podcast @untapped.podcast to discuss my sobriety with the smart @spencermatthews . I wore no make-up. Partly because I kinda forgot that a project for the ears is nowadays also a feast for the eyes. But as someone who has had to wear heavy make-up on screen from 5am for years, I’m not a fan. Most crucially tho, since childhood I’ve suffered from eczema. On my body – the creases of my arms and legs – on my face – eyes and lips. Make-up has always been the enemy because it’s been agony to wear. There were a lot of positive comments about the WORDS I said on the podcast. But a considerable amount about my tanned appearance. AND how OLD I look. In a few weeks I will be 58. I will never look like the fresh 21yr old that used to greet you first thing in the morning by the weather board. I’m not ashamed to say that I am a sun worshipper and will no doubt pay the price for that. But UV lamps and salt baths, astringent solutions and creams were a feature of my life since I was a small child. I have uneven pigmentation doubtlessly not helped by ageing. I sometimes use filters in my pics because it’s easier than foundation and less painful. I work tirelessly in my garden year round and often in the sun. I rarely sunbathe any more. Haven’t had a sunbed for 6 months – which I do occasionally in winter months. Not ashamed. I have not had a holiday – of any kind – since 2018. That’s 7yrs. So, I understand that an over-tanned, imperfect and AGEING female face offends you. But try to listen to the words rather than constantly judge a woman’s appearance. You might learn something. And making people feel shit does not make you a hero. #kindness #eczema #ageing #sobriety
A year ago today, I had to let you go, my darling Leo. Maybe I hung on to you a bit longer than I should. But in the end I know I did what was right for you, not me. Your pain and suffering gradually changed your behaviour and poor Hank was on the receiving end of your outbursts which were signs to me you were deteriorating. But a lot of the time you suffered in silence – asking for nothing but cuddles. You were never going to overcome your chronic lymphocytic leukaemia but you lived 3yrs longer than your prognosis. Oh my darling boy. I miss our cuddles; I miss you tilting your head from side to side when I spoke to you as if you knew exactly what I was thinking. I miss how – like clockwork – you would appear in the kitchen at 5pm on the dot when it was time for food. I even miss your Short Man Syndrome strops. You were a lot of personality packed into such a solid little Bulldog. It took a while to be able to look at pics of you but today I’m so grateful for the years we had together. Smackerjacks Lover Man. My boy Leo ❤️
A year ago today, I had to let you go, my darling Leo. Maybe I hung on to you a bit longer than I should. But in the end I know I did what was right for you, not me. Your pain and suffering gradually changed your behaviour and poor Hank was on the receiving end of your outbursts which were signs to me you were deteriorating. But a lot of the time you suffered in silence – asking for nothing but cuddles. You were never going to overcome your chronic lymphocytic leukaemia but you lived 3yrs longer than your prognosis. Oh my darling boy. I miss our cuddles; I miss you tilting your head from side to side when I spoke to you as if you knew exactly what I was thinking. I miss how – like clockwork – you would appear in the kitchen at 5pm on the dot when it was time for food. I even miss your Short Man Syndrome strops. You were a lot of personality packed into such a solid little Bulldog. It took a while to be able to look at pics of you but today I’m so grateful for the years we had together. Smackerjacks Lover Man. My boy Leo ❤️
A year ago today, I had to let you go, my darling Leo. Maybe I hung on to you a bit longer than I should. But in the end I know I did what was right for you, not me. Your pain and suffering gradually changed your behaviour and poor Hank was on the receiving end of your outbursts which were signs to me you were deteriorating. But a lot of the time you suffered in silence – asking for nothing but cuddles. You were never going to overcome your chronic lymphocytic leukaemia but you lived 3yrs longer than your prognosis. Oh my darling boy. I miss our cuddles; I miss you tilting your head from side to side when I spoke to you as if you knew exactly what I was thinking. I miss how – like clockwork – you would appear in the kitchen at 5pm on the dot when it was time for food. I even miss your Short Man Syndrome strops. You were a lot of personality packed into such a solid little Bulldog. It took a while to be able to look at pics of you but today I’m so grateful for the years we had together. Smackerjacks Lover Man. My boy Leo ❤️
A year ago today, I had to let you go, my darling Leo. Maybe I hung on to you a bit longer than I should. But in the end I know I did what was right for you, not me. Your pain and suffering gradually changed your behaviour and poor Hank was on the receiving end of your outbursts which were signs to me you were deteriorating. But a lot of the time you suffered in silence – asking for nothing but cuddles. You were never going to overcome your chronic lymphocytic leukaemia but you lived 3yrs longer than your prognosis. Oh my darling boy. I miss our cuddles; I miss you tilting your head from side to side when I spoke to you as if you knew exactly what I was thinking. I miss how – like clockwork – you would appear in the kitchen at 5pm on the dot when it was time for food. I even miss your Short Man Syndrome strops. You were a lot of personality packed into such a solid little Bulldog. It took a while to be able to look at pics of you but today I’m so grateful for the years we had together. Smackerjacks Lover Man. My boy Leo ❤️
A year ago today, I had to let you go, my darling Leo. Maybe I hung on to you a bit longer than I should. But in the end I know I did what was right for you, not me. Your pain and suffering gradually changed your behaviour and poor Hank was on the receiving end of your outbursts which were signs to me you were deteriorating. But a lot of the time you suffered in silence – asking for nothing but cuddles. You were never going to overcome your chronic lymphocytic leukaemia but you lived 3yrs longer than your prognosis. Oh my darling boy. I miss our cuddles; I miss you tilting your head from side to side when I spoke to you as if you knew exactly what I was thinking. I miss how – like clockwork – you would appear in the kitchen at 5pm on the dot when it was time for food. I even miss your Short Man Syndrome strops. You were a lot of personality packed into such a solid little Bulldog. It took a while to be able to look at pics of you but today I’m so grateful for the years we had together. Smackerjacks Lover Man. My boy Leo ❤️
A year ago today, I had to let you go, my darling Leo. Maybe I hung on to you a bit longer than I should. But in the end I know I did what was right for you, not me. Your pain and suffering gradually changed your behaviour and poor Hank was on the receiving end of your outbursts which were signs to me you were deteriorating. But a lot of the time you suffered in silence – asking for nothing but cuddles. You were never going to overcome your chronic lymphocytic leukaemia but you lived 3yrs longer than your prognosis. Oh my darling boy. I miss our cuddles; I miss you tilting your head from side to side when I spoke to you as if you knew exactly what I was thinking. I miss how – like clockwork – you would appear in the kitchen at 5pm on the dot when it was time for food. I even miss your Short Man Syndrome strops. You were a lot of personality packed into such a solid little Bulldog. It took a while to be able to look at pics of you but today I’m so grateful for the years we had together. Smackerjacks Lover Man. My boy Leo ❤️
Farewell, my beloved August. I shall miss you and your warm days of hope and promise. Your lazy evenings and heavy nights. You, the last leap of summer. You, the final huzzah for me and all the lions, before we are forced to wait impatiently for you to visit again. And a quiet, subdued welcome to you, September. Always my nemesis. Black Dog descending quietly and unassumingly. I know you’re coming. I am forewarned by my persistently darkening mind; anxious, shadowy moments desperately seeking out the last of the light. But I am never forearmed. You come, Black Dog every year. You are consistent, l’ll give you that. But no matter how I prepare myself, you snap at my heels until I’m forced to accept that we will walk side by side together until you set me free again. And you will. Because you have before. You’re consistent. I’ll give you that. In the meantime I will try to keep my chin up to the sun. I will try to accept that without darkness I cannot appreciate the light. I will endure. I might yield from time to time and acknowledge your temporary presence. But for now, a small and reluctant welcome to you, September.
This day, 31yrs ago I pushed 9lbs 12oz out of my honeymoon passage and was met by your little face @camerontrnbull . “Who are you then?”, were my first words to you. Little did I realise I’d just brought nearly 10lbs of Goldenballs into the world. You were a dream first child and you have grown into a fine young man. You’ve got your father’s sensibility and your mother’s craziness which makes you a perfect Libra. I love my time with you and shall miss you today while you’re abroad working. You’re kind, caring, hilarious, serious, a grafter but most of all you’re golden. You continue to be my FAVOURITE firstborn. Happy 31st, Cameron Oskar George! Love you, Mamma ❤️
This day, 31yrs ago I pushed 9lbs 12oz out of my honeymoon passage and was met by your little face @camerontrnbull . “Who are you then?”, were my first words to you. Little did I realise I’d just brought nearly 10lbs of Goldenballs into the world. You were a dream first child and you have grown into a fine young man. You’ve got your father’s sensibility and your mother’s craziness which makes you a perfect Libra. I love my time with you and shall miss you today while you’re abroad working. You’re kind, caring, hilarious, serious, a grafter but most of all you’re golden. You continue to be my FAVOURITE firstborn. Happy 31st, Cameron Oskar George! Love you, Mamma ❤️
This day, 31yrs ago I pushed 9lbs 12oz out of my honeymoon passage and was met by your little face @camerontrnbull . “Who are you then?”, were my first words to you. Little did I realise I’d just brought nearly 10lbs of Goldenballs into the world. You were a dream first child and you have grown into a fine young man. You’ve got your father’s sensibility and your mother’s craziness which makes you a perfect Libra. I love my time with you and shall miss you today while you’re abroad working. You’re kind, caring, hilarious, serious, a grafter but most of all you’re golden. You continue to be my FAVOURITE firstborn. Happy 31st, Cameron Oskar George! Love you, Mamma ❤️
Happy 25th birthday, my darling Bo Eva Coeur!! Your birthday is never something I take for granted. And this past year has not been without its health challenges for you. But in between the negative and the scary, there have been massive positives. You have grown enormously as a person. You are so much more settled and even more willing to listen and understand. A large part of that is courtesy of the love you have found with your wonderful Joe, who loves you so well and has made you an even better person. You’re still mad as a box of frogs. You still walk peculiarly and stomp around like an elephant upstairs. Your love for ultra processed food endures and you still rush around and want everything instantly. You still have expensive taste and love the high life. But now you even let Hank have a snuggle with you….👀 I’m beyond proud of you and how you conduct your life. You are so loved. Mamma ❤️ #chd #chdwarrior
Happy 25th birthday, my darling Bo Eva Coeur!! Your birthday is never something I take for granted. And this past year has not been without its health challenges for you. But in between the negative and the scary, there have been massive positives. You have grown enormously as a person. You are so much more settled and even more willing to listen and understand. A large part of that is courtesy of the love you have found with your wonderful Joe, who loves you so well and has made you an even better person. You’re still mad as a box of frogs. You still walk peculiarly and stomp around like an elephant upstairs. Your love for ultra processed food endures and you still rush around and want everything instantly. You still have expensive taste and love the high life. But now you even let Hank have a snuggle with you….👀 I’m beyond proud of you and how you conduct your life. You are so loved. Mamma ❤️ #chd #chdwarrior
Happy 25th birthday, my darling Bo Eva Coeur!! Your birthday is never something I take for granted. And this past year has not been without its health challenges for you. But in between the negative and the scary, there have been massive positives. You have grown enormously as a person. You are so much more settled and even more willing to listen and understand. A large part of that is courtesy of the love you have found with your wonderful Joe, who loves you so well and has made you an even better person. You’re still mad as a box of frogs. You still walk peculiarly and stomp around like an elephant upstairs. Your love for ultra processed food endures and you still rush around and want everything instantly. You still have expensive taste and love the high life. But now you even let Hank have a snuggle with you….👀 I’m beyond proud of you and how you conduct your life. You are so loved. Mamma ❤️ #chd #chdwarrior
Happy 25th birthday, my darling Bo Eva Coeur!! Your birthday is never something I take for granted. And this past year has not been without its health challenges for you. But in between the negative and the scary, there have been massive positives. You have grown enormously as a person. You are so much more settled and even more willing to listen and understand. A large part of that is courtesy of the love you have found with your wonderful Joe, who loves you so well and has made you an even better person. You’re still mad as a box of frogs. You still walk peculiarly and stomp around like an elephant upstairs. Your love for ultra processed food endures and you still rush around and want everything instantly. You still have expensive taste and love the high life. But now you even let Hank have a snuggle with you….👀 I’m beyond proud of you and how you conduct your life. You are so loved. Mamma ❤️ #chd #chdwarrior
Happy 25th birthday, my darling Bo Eva Coeur!! Your birthday is never something I take for granted. And this past year has not been without its health challenges for you. But in between the negative and the scary, there have been massive positives. You have grown enormously as a person. You are so much more settled and even more willing to listen and understand. A large part of that is courtesy of the love you have found with your wonderful Joe, who loves you so well and has made you an even better person. You’re still mad as a box of frogs. You still walk peculiarly and stomp around like an elephant upstairs. Your love for ultra processed food endures and you still rush around and want everything instantly. You still have expensive taste and love the high life. But now you even let Hank have a snuggle with you….👀 I’m beyond proud of you and how you conduct your life. You are so loved. Mamma ❤️ #chd #chdwarrior
…..and don’t get me started on the guy who sent me AI responses when I asked where we stood. I know. Asking where you stand, is where you stand.
…..and don’t get me started on the guy who sent me AI responses when I asked where we stood. I know. Asking where you stand, is where you stand.
…..and don’t get me started on the guy who sent me AI responses when I asked where we stood. I know. Asking where you stand, is where you stand.
…..and don’t get me started on the guy who sent me AI responses when I asked where we stood. I know. Asking where you stand, is where you stand.
…..and don’t get me started on the guy who sent me AI responses when I asked where we stood. I know. Asking where you stand, is where you stand.
…..and don’t get me started on the guy who sent me AI responses when I asked where we stood. I know. Asking where you stand, is where you stand.
PEOPLE OF THE WORLD!! My clever, clever sister @kellybrodiebrown has written this corker of a children’s book and it has been ridiculously, brilliantly illustrated by @natashacartyillustration . I’m beyond proud of their collaboration. It’s funny, clever, heartwarming and a thing of beauty. It’s publication day TODAY in Oz and we’re hoping it will soon be available in UK, too. So, if you’re in Oz or have family in Oz, please get them to check it out and order a copy! You really won’t regret it. “The Style Secrets of Gareth McGreen” is one of those books that appeals to all ages and I can imagine being handed down from generation to generation. It’s such a charming read and an absolute feast for the eyes. Please order a copy if you can and support my brilliant sister. #bemoregareth