My first impression of Sam? The first time I met him was the weekend we moved into the dorms at Boston U. We were all little more than horny teenagers unpacking our suitcases, when a fight broke out between three boys. It was the first night everyone had moved in, and what started as a playful fight quickly escalated into something real. It was clear someone was getting hurt, but everyone, including me, stood around and watched, going, “omg what do we do we’re teeeenagers.” Then out of nowhere, pimple-faced Sam pushed his way into the room. He held up his arms and said, “Unacceptable!” in a booming voice like some kind of level-headed dad. The fight immediately ended and no one was seriously injured, and I remember being so impressed with that Sam guy. He didn’t go looking for a teacher, he didn’t seek approval from his peers. He just Did the Right Thing. Anyway, that put him on my radar, and he’s been on my radar ever since. This was 19 years ago. These pictures have nothing to do with the story, but I’m posting them because I look cute and this is Instagram after all. Sam is kind. Sam is smart. Sam is talented. He’s generous, he’s strong, he’s peacemaking, and my god is he funny, I mean, have you SEEN his dance videos? (Not to mention all the other videos he’s made his whole career.) He’s passionate, he’s sexy, he’s dedicated, he’s a great listener and pretty good sous chef. And you wanna know what else? He’s a freaking nerd who’s great at video games and undefeated at Type Racer, and he does this really bad impression of Durnald Trurmph that makes me laugh so hard, I swear, it feels like medicine. And in the 19 years we’ve been in love, he’s never ONCE taught me any of his magic tricks despite all my asking, and goddamnit I respect it. If you’re still reading, then yes, you guessed it: today is @samreich birthday. Please do me favor and Shower him with love. Make it rain for this man. He deserves it. Happy birthday, my love. I know you’re trying to do a no-sugar thing, but there’s gonna be so much pie and cake and other nonsense when you get home.
My first impression of Sam? The first time I met him was the weekend we moved into the dorms at Boston U. We were all little more than horny teenagers unpacking our suitcases, when a fight broke out between three boys. It was the first night everyone had moved in, and what started as a playful fight quickly escalated into something real. It was clear someone was getting hurt, but everyone, including me, stood around and watched, going, “omg what do we do we’re teeeenagers.” Then out of nowhere, pimple-faced Sam pushed his way into the room. He held up his arms and said, “Unacceptable!” in a booming voice like some kind of level-headed dad. The fight immediately ended and no one was seriously injured, and I remember being so impressed with that Sam guy. He didn’t go looking for a teacher, he didn’t seek approval from his peers. He just Did the Right Thing. Anyway, that put him on my radar, and he’s been on my radar ever since. This was 19 years ago. These pictures have nothing to do with the story, but I’m posting them because I look cute and this is Instagram after all. Sam is kind. Sam is smart. Sam is talented. He’s generous, he’s strong, he’s peacemaking, and my god is he funny, I mean, have you SEEN his dance videos? (Not to mention all the other videos he’s made his whole career.) He’s passionate, he’s sexy, he’s dedicated, he’s a great listener and pretty good sous chef. And you wanna know what else? He’s a freaking nerd who’s great at video games and undefeated at Type Racer, and he does this really bad impression of Durnald Trurmph that makes me laugh so hard, I swear, it feels like medicine. And in the 19 years we’ve been in love, he’s never ONCE taught me any of his magic tricks despite all my asking, and goddamnit I respect it. If you’re still reading, then yes, you guessed it: today is @samreich birthday. Please do me favor and Shower him with love. Make it rain for this man. He deserves it. Happy birthday, my love. I know you’re trying to do a no-sugar thing, but there’s gonna be so much pie and cake and other nonsense when you get home.
Remy counting and singing. Please hire this kid for all of your “Oliver!” reboots.
The Black Widow meets Batman #challnighter
Behind the scenes of the Weird Al “Foil” shoot with @katmburns @dreeandree #weirdal
Otter pool party
This guy rolled down his window and said I was his dream girl so I guess this is our first of many pictures together #love
$99 Headshot Special! 🙌 Make your 12-year-old look like a sister wife 🙏 #tbt
I feel self conscious posting this but I also feel like ehh screw it I look fancy
Very Stevie Nicks
Annie hall oh god I look like my father
Taxidermy everything, regram from @mintmilana
Watching the sunset
Dining room in March (above). Dining room in June (below).
Trying to relax but need to see how many likes this gets
Bye NYC! I only stepped in vomit twice and had one panic attack!
Six and sassy #tbt
#tbt when I put fake tanner on my legs and forgot to do my face
Gaps for days #tbt
weird bangs, crooked teeth, can’t lose #winning
#tbt #acne
The Grinch and her father, mid 90’s
my wedding day 👰🏻 #tbt
Happy belated bday big sis @zannecarroll sorry I ate all your crayons #tbt #notsorry