Rain Dove Dubilewski

Rain Dove Dubilewski Instagram – If You are in a space with a family member where You are scared to come out or You are currently being told that Your sexuality/identity isnt ok- I want You to know that You have permission to keep breathing. Keep moving. Keep investing in Yourself. Through time, space, unapologetic unwavering self love- things WILL change. I promise they will. Perhaps the person will shift their perspective. Perhaps You will shift Your priorities. Perhaps time will shift circumstances or context. My parent @mothernaturesmountain is an incredible person. She lives off the grid in the forest, a healer and herbalist. She taught me a lot of important lessons growing up- especially around how to forage, survive and be patient. We bonded even closer when my parents divorced after an abusive relationship and it felt like it was just her and I against a naysaying world. But then in highschool she discovered I was queer. And it didn’t go over well. At the time I was ashamed of who I was. Deeply. As a Christian I felt I was angering God and endangering the emotional health of my grandparents. I also felt- after everything my parent did for me the least I could do is just be normal. I never thought of being queer as a life of hardship for myself- but rather for my family who would have to be affiliated with me. So I tried to make up for it by taking myself out of the equation. I ran away across the country. Determined that I’d rather be homeless than a burden. And I was transient for years. Often my parent offered aid but I felt I didn’t deserve to take it because I felt guilty. Foggy cold nights, sleeping in my car trunk, in backyards and 24hr McDonald’s, broken tent cities, arrested for stealing food from WholeFoods and underwear from Target, dating people just to avoid being alone- I made myself a mess. Drinking. Lying. Hiding. Even when I started to stabilize. So many people wanted to love me but I couldn’t trust them. I was always an arms length apart from anyone I really liked to avoid losing them by never embracing them fully. But then one day my parent reached out in a way that was so pure. It began this healing process. And I couldn’t love anyone more than her. #queer #pride | Posted on 15/Jun/2021 20:28:45